What Matters Most

If you’ve been reading my column for any amount of time, you know it’s no secret that I am a hopeless romantic and enjoy reading and writing romantic plots. This genre of writing (romance), whether in books or films, can be rather difficult for writers.

Because everyone has a different definition of romance, this makes it particularly difficult for me as a guy. Whilst most guys view themselves as romantic, we can often reveal our selfish shallow desires.

I share this because I often hear my guy friends talking about their dreams of love—I mean lust—at first sight. For the women reading this, it’s true most men view love and romance from a physical viewpoint. I certainly did while in college. However, in my 20s I read a book that broadened my view and understanding of love. Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages helped me to see other ways love is expressed:

1. Words of affirmation
2. Acts of service
3. Quality time
4. Gifts
5. Physical touch

When I was younger, I only understood the expression of physical touch as love. Back then my favorite genre for a movie was action/adventure. But, as I grew up and started dating, I became more of a hopeless romantic.  Who can’t relate to wanting unconditional love and acceptance?

Perhaps that’s why a good romance movie connects with us deeply and longer than the quick fix thrill of an action movie. If a writer can pluck the emotional strings of the audiences’ heart, they can fulfill an essential need for life—love.

ROMANCE?

Webster’s defines romance as “a love story especially in the form of a novel, or a class of such literature.” Personally, I take the subject of love seriously. I don’t find it as something to make fun of or take lightly.

I’m not trying to romanticize the idea of being loved or giving love, I just believe that many of us overuse the term, applying it to movies that are not truly romances. In Story, Robert McKee shares, “By cleverly delaying the lovers’ meeting to climax, these films avoid the prickly issues of modern love by replacing the difficulty of love with the difficulty of meeting. These aren’t love stories but stories of longing, as talk about and desire for love fills the scenes, leaving genuine acts of love and their often troubling consequences to happen in an off-screen future.”

Again, we all have different beliefs about love; my faith shapes most of my thoughts on the subject. It also influences the type of movies I spend my money to view. Some of my favorite romances are below.

• The Karate Kid part two
• Last of the Mohicans
• Titanic
• A Very Long Engagement

With all the junk Hollywood puts out about love, I believe these four movies actually hold a lot of truth. They each show that love may not be easy, but it’s always worth fighting for.

Fight for it!

Last year during the process of rewriting a screenplay, I wrote a scene where my protagonist asks for relationship advice from his mentor. His answer even made my heart skip a beat. “Sometimes you have to fight for love and sometimes love is a fight. Either way, it’s worth it.”

If it’s true that life imitates art, there is always a moment when you know you’re in love—the same thought applies to romantic movies, they have a moment when we see the love between two characters and our hearts melt.

As you write out your romantic stories, keep in mind how you define love and work that concept into the structure of your story. It can manifest in many different ways:

1. Tender words.
2. The ultimate sacrifice.
3. A long pursuit or service.
4. A well-chosen gift
5. An intimate touch.

Think of your favorite movies and how they express romance or love. I believe the best romances are more than just funny friend hook up stories, no, they embody a noble cause—love—because that is what matters most.

Martin Johnson survived a severe car accident with a (T.B.I.) Traumatic brain injury which left him legally blind and partially paralyzed on the left side. He is an award-winning Christian screenwriter who has recently finished his first Christian nonfiction book. Martin has spent the last nine years volunteering as an ambassador and promoter for Promise Keepers ministries. While speaking to local men’s ministries he shares his testimony. He explains The Jesus Paradigm and how following Jesus changes what matters most in our lives. Martin lives in a Georgia and connects with readers at Spiritual Perspectives of Da Single Guy and on Twitter at mtjohnson51.