Navigating the Nos

Covid-19 has had the world on lockdown since March and we’ve all made adjustments to our lives—life as we knew it has changed.

As the country begins to open up, it seems there are more nos than yesses. And no one is happy about it. Many are staging protests in defiance of laws and common sense. Even though these stipulations are put in place to protect us, people don’t want to listen.

In Georgia, where I live, the state was one of the first to begin reopening, much to the concern of many residents. The powers that be and impatient citizens wanted to reopen, regardless of the numbers. I believe we shouldn’t disregard our lawmakers precautions just to suit our selfish desires and needs.

Being older I’ve learned the wisdom of rolling with the punches of life.

• We can’t always have what we want.
• We need to learn to be flexible or else life will break us.
• Patience is more than a virtue; it’s a necessity for life.

During my first days after my accident I didn’t understand these truths, but over time I learned my life had changed and being disabled was my new normal.

I heard more “nos” than “yesses”, and it depressed me. But on this side of my recovery, I understand sometimes in life the answer is just no and we need to hear it.

Navigating the Nos?

Those early days in the hospital inspired me to push myself, but there were a lot of tough times, like falling off the commode when I refused to listen to the nurses about my inability to walk.

The nurses and my friends weren’t trying to hold me back, they were trying to help me and I was too prideful to listen. When the doctors, nurses and countless specialists were telling me no, it wasn’t to discourage me, it was to protect me from hurting myself and possibly others.

After I transferred to rehab, I was walking with the therapist down a hall, and just before I entered a doorway, my neuropsychologist called out my name. In that brief moment I turned my attention towards her and accidentally walked into the doorjamb and hit my head. As I stumbled backward I hit my therapist causing her to lose her balance and almost fall. So when it came time for my review for release, my neuropsychologist refused to sign off and I was forced to remain in rehab.

Those doctors and therapists saw what I couldn’t about myself. They knew where I needed to improve even when I couldn’t see it. In my youth I resented their rules and regulations. Some two decades later, I am grateful for them.

The trained medical specialists knew what I needed more than I did. Their training and experience gave them the tools and insight to help me in many ways.

The same concept applies to the writing life. Often we writers are sure of our talents, knowledge, and stories. We want to skip the necessary steps to succeed. We want the easy route that doesn’t challenge us or help us grow in the craft.

This is part of the reason why we face rejections rather than a coveted acceptance letter. We haven’t honed our skills or heeded the advice of others who are trying to help us. Rejection letters from agents and publishers aren’t meant to discourage us, but rather to encourage us to continue to learn the craft and improve our stories.

It’s been three years since I attended my last writer’s conference. Although I didn’t get an acceptance letter, I made connections in the industry and learned more about the craft and since then I’ve tried to use what I learned. I’ve tried to be wise in how I handled the nos in my writing life.

Wisdom?

At that last conference, I made a new writer friend and we kept in contact for a few weeks. Then suddenly, when they didn’t hear what they wanted to hear, their attitude changed and bitterness set in.

As far as I know the writer no longer writes. They have dropped from social media and closed the door. It’s sad because, they had a great audience and market to write for.

What a lot of writers don’t realize is that after rejections many agents continue to follow would-be authors to see what they are doing. The wise use the rejection as motivation to get better. Others allow the rejection to make them bitter.

You have a choice, Below are a few steps you can take if you choose to become a better writer after rejection.

• Continue to learn the craft.
• Polish your writing.
• Build your platform.
• Nurture those relationships you make.

Before I was released from the rehabilitation as an outpatient, I had to spend some time in a T.L.C. (transitional living center) where I could be watched during daily activities. There I met other people with brain injuries who were struggling to deal with their nos. I spent a month there and saw many others taste victory before me. Each setback and failure only made me more determined to navigate the nos.

Martin Johnson survived a severe car accident with a (T.B.I.) Traumatic brain injury which left him legally blind and partially paralyzed on the left side. He is an award-winning Christian screenwriter who has recently finished his first Christian nonfiction book. Martin has spent the last nine years volunteering as an ambassador and promoter for Promise Keepers ministries. While speaking to local men’s ministries he shares his testimony. He explains The Jesus Paradigm and how following Jesus changes what matters most in our lives. Martin lives in a Georgia and connects with readers at Spiritual Perspectives of Da Single Guy and on Twitter at mtjohnson51.