Once upon a time, when I was new to fiction writing, I brought a chapter to my weekly workshop/critique group. I read a selection from a romantic suspense where the heroine receives a package from a stalker. In the padded envelope was a dead bird.
My workshop leader/writing teacher/mentor complimented the writing and plot twist, then asked me a question.
“What kind of bird was in the package?”
(I had no idea.) “Hmmm. A little brown bird. A sparrow?”
“Why not say sparrow instead of bird?”
“I don’t know.” (This shows how much I needed to learn.)
“Authenticating details are part of what takes good writing to great writing.”
It took me a long time to understand what my mentor was saying: specificity makes the scene come alive for the reader. “Bird” could mean anything from penguin to turkey and your reader pause to wonder just how big that package was. A sparrow evokes a specific image.
What are some ways to add depth and details to our story worlds?
- Choose the specific over the general, such as buzzard rather than bird, rose instead of flower. But don’t go so far into specifics (unless it’s vital to the plot), that the reader must pause and research what a long-wattled umbrella bird looks like (black, short-tailed, with a head crest. The males have long wattles).
- Weather can help set the mood. It’s hard to describe a suspenseful scene if it’s a bright and sunny day. Are the clouds dark and menacing, full of rain? Or white and puffy, moving gracefully across the sky?
- Food. Is your character eating fries out of a bag while driving their Mini Cooper or leaning over a sink, eating a ham on rye sandwich? Or sitting alone at a long table in an ornate dining room with candles and green cloth napkins to eat a bucket of chicken?
- Music. What’s playing in the car or in the café? Does a song evoke an emotion in your character?
- Smells. A steak sizzling on the grill elicits a different expression than driving by a dairy farm. (Trust me, it’s not pleasant.)
- Clothes and fashion. In the movie Grease, when Sandy’s attire changes from Peter Pan collar blouses and skirts to black leather and off-the-shoulder tops, the viewer knew instantly she was telling Danny she was willing to change to fit into his world.
- Accessories. Does he wear pearl stud cufflinks and a matching tie pin? Does she wear an armful of bracelets or a colorful necklace?
- Props. If they scribble a note to say they’re meeting a friend for coffee, do they use a fountain pen, a broken crayon, or a highlighter?
Anything that adds visual detail to your scene will help your readers know and “see” your characters. An engaged reader is one who keeps turning the page. Exactly what we want.
Carrie Padgett lives in Central California, close to Yosemite, but far from Hollywood, the beach, and the Golden Gate Bridge. She believes in faith, families, fun, and happily ever afters. She writes contemporary fiction with romance. She recently signed a contract with Sunrise Publishing to co-write a romance novel with New York Times bestselling author Rachel Hauck that will be published in 2022. Carrie and her husband live in the country with their high-maintenance cat and laid-back dog, within driving distance of their six grandchildren.
You can find her online at:
- Twitter: CarriePadgett
- Instagram: carpadwriter
- Facebook: WriterCarriePadgett
- Amazon Author Page: Carrie Padgett
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