Author: Bobbi Bush - Polishing Your Message

Bobbi’s life experiences include ten years military service with USMCR, earning her MA at Texas A&M University as a non-traditional first generation student, teaching college English, and single parenting for sixteen years. In one week last August she started a new job, moved from a 3BR home to a 1 BR condo, and became an empty nester. God's hand was in every transition and He even topped it off with putting her near the beach, something for which she had yearned for years. Today she divides her time as an adjunct professor and an aspiring writer. Her free time is spent walking the beaches, watching sunsets, and volunteering with community events when possible.

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Polishing Your Message Uncategorized

Don’t Do Dat – or That

Today’s tip on Polishing Your Message is . . . Don’t Do That.

Do What?

Overuse the word that.

The overuse of  that is one of my pet peeves when grading college essays. (Did you hear me students?) And as expected, many editors feel the same way. So don’t be surprised when you read this in more than one place. Fellow A3 writer Lori Hatcher also shares the same advice in a recent blog about “How To Drive Editors Crazy – Part 2.”

stop that

Overuse of the word has become acclimated in our speech; thus, we easily overlook it when we write it. Most of the time that used in an essay, article, or blog can easily be removed without harm to the sentence or the message.  Simply read the sentence without it and see if it changes the meaning. If not, omit it. When used incorrectly, the word that is as useful as those empty modifiers we also try to avoid like very, really, totally, truly, etc.

Now I am not saying to remove the word that every time. Many sentences will need the word to show the reader important information will soon follow. Most of the time our ear will tell us if that is needed or not. The goal for this post is to suggest you be more aware when polishing your drafts and looking for unnecessary words which can be omitted.

If you would like to read a more thorough source on when to leave that in and when to leave that out, I’ll share with you Grammar Girl’s discussion for your reading pleasure. She has much more to say on the topic. You will be amazed how much there is to think about when considering that little four letter word.

So ,add that to your proofreading checklist, and have fun polishing your message.

[bctt tweet=”Add that to your proofreading checklist” username=”BobbiBushWriter”]

(Photo credits belong to Cat Branchman and Leonard Matthews)

 

 

 

 

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Polishing Your Message Uncategorized

Winds and Waves of Inspiration

Are you a writer who hasn’t written a word?

How many waves of inspiration flow thru your mind before you finally pen (or type) your first words as a self-proclaimed writer?
I remember clearly the first few times I felt the stirring within to write. Emotions with no words bubbled inside like boiling water turning to vapor in effort to escape the heat of the moment. Each time I kept the lid on and eventually dismissed the thought. 

Continue reading “Winds and Waves of Inspiration”
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Polishing Your Message Uncategorized

A Shell of a Draft . . .

Shell of a Draft

Shortly after moving to the Islands, a new habit easily became walking early on the beach. On one particular morning, something unlikely happened. (Unlikely from my beach experiences . . . ) I found a big beautiful shell— a whole shell. Do you understand?  I found a large complete shell five inches tall and four inches wide.  Feeling stunned, amazed, and thrilled, I instantly knew I was meant to find this particular shell, on this particular day, in this particular way.

How do I know that? Because it was God showing off again in my world. See, before my walk I had just read how God uses our SHAPE for his purpose. SHAPE being an acronym from Rick Warren’s book A Purpose Driven Life (236).  His SHAPE acronym represents the following words and how God uses them in our life:

S – Spiritual Gifts

H – Heart

A – Abilities

P – Personality

E – Experiences

The SHELL I found is a symbol for the devotion I had read and a gift to remember the lesson. Believe me, I have walked beaches many times, and I have never found such a big unbroken SHELL. On this particular day, He reminded me he has made us all for a special purpose and wants us to use all the above traits for his purpose.

A couple months pass and again I’m walking the beach contemplating inspirations for a new blog, and again I am still thinking about that SHELL. (Now anytime I see a shell, I think of that shell.)

As I continue walking the pastel carpet of broken shell pieces listening to the crunch of each step, I ponder Warren’s acronym and think about how our first drafts for short blogs, essays, and articles form a shell for our final written work. Getting that first Shell of a Draft is sometimes the hardest part of writing. Coming up with ideas is not difficult for writers– it is giving the idea shape. Ask around and discover, most writers keep stashes of ideas tucked in shoe boxes, notebooks, electronic files, and the sandy corners of their minds to develop one day. Discerning what direction, what purpose, and for what audience an idea best agrees often forms its shape when we write that First Shell of a Draft.

[bctt tweet=”Getting that first Shell of a Draft is sometimes the hardest part of writing.”]

While walking and enjoying the formation of birds standing at attention, a new ACRONYM for the word SHAPE came to mind. An acronym to help writers create a first SHELL OF A DRAFT.

How to SHAPE a Shell of a Draft:

birds8

S – See it

H – Hear it

A – Ask it

P – Perceive it

E – End it, Edit it, Edit it, Edit it,  .  .  .  and END IT.

[bctt tweet=”Write to see what’s on your mind. “]

See it:

One of my favorite quotes to share is by E.M Forster, “How do I know what I think until I see what I say?” The heart of our drafts often originates when we free write those first initial thoughts and ideas. Sometimes we are surprised by what appears on the blank screen or notebook and we discover, learn, and grow when what is deep within our heart is revealed.  So for step one, when you have a topic or idea,  just write. Write to see what’s on your mind. Write to see what’s on your heart, and write to see what’s in your Spirit. Just get it down on paper.

Hear it:

Do my thoughts flow smoothly for the reader? Reread the draft repeatedly listening for areas where words may be missing or thoughts are not connecting smoothly. (Perhaps some transitions will help.) Listen for opportunities of adding parallelism with list or alliteration to catch a reader’s attention. These are all writing elements, tools, or techniques a wordsmith enjoys adding to his or her work. Pay attention to word choice when rereading aloud. Look up words if needed and use a thesaurus to reduce redundancy. Finally, say a little prayer and trust your ear; trust it as an assistant to your writing.

Ask it:

Are there any areas of confusion? Are the examples and support all supporting the main idea of the message? If not, some may need to be omitted. Writers often have lots of ideas on how to reveal a message, but determine which details and examples best reveal your purpose and audience and omit the rest. This question is a key factor in helping writers decide what to leave in and what to take out. If it does not support the purpose, consider leaving it out.

Perceive it:

This is the time for peer review or reader feedback. Can the text be misunderstood, unclear, or offensive to readers? How might others interpret the prose? When asking someone’s perspective, you may want to share a past blog on how a friend can offer confident feedback.

End it: 

This may be the hardest decision, but deadlines and goals help encourage the process. End it, then edit it, end it again, let it rest, and edit it again. Embrace the process and accept revision, revision, revision is required to get that draft into shape. Continue the process until you feel peace or your time has expired. Say a little prayer and let your message go.

Today, when I hold the shell I found, it symbolizes for me the SHAPE God is molding me into and how my spirit, heart, abilities, personality, and experiences SHAPE my writing. In addition, the shell is a marker of answered prayer (for years I’ve wanted to live back near a beach).  It represents my current life transition from single motherhood to empty-nester and the SHAPE for which my heavenly father sees me and cares about every detail in my life– even a walk on the beach.

I hope these suggestions will help new writers develop their ideas into drafts and then on to a final message.

(I am ending here because it’s now time to go walk on the beach with a friend.)

Below, I invite you to share what gifts God reveals to  you while enjoying nature.

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Polishing Your Message

Building Bridges With Transitions

Transitions are an important element in our writing. Without them a paragraph can sometimes feel like we are reading a grocery list. The sentences seem choppy feeling like we are jumping from one thought to another.

I like to tell my students to think of transitions as bridges. They help connect the writer’s thoughts and allow the reader to easily follow and comprehend the message. Without them, the reader may have to work harder to concentrate and associate the unwritten connections. (Do remember, as writers, it is our job to make reading easy for our audience.) In addition, transitions will polish our writing and help us not lose our readers as we deliver our message.

As mentioned, I think of transitional devices as bridges, which brings to mind many different types of bridges: short bridges, long bridges, covered bridges, weak bridges,  and sturdy steel bridges. Without them, we cannot get to the other side, which is often where we are trying to take our readers. Equally, many different types of transitions are available as tools to help move our thoughts along. These transitions can be short using one word, long using phrases, weak by choosing wrong words, and sturdy dependable transitions like the list below.   These bridges can transport readers past years in time with a few little words. For example: “Six years later. . . .” Or maybe we skip to the next thought using words like ” first, next,” and “finally.” Choosing the best transitional device takes practice and a good ear, so be sure to read the text aloud and listen to hear if it connects your thoughts smoothly.

The different transitional devices and phrases will lead the reader in a variety of directions.   See below a list of common transitions and their purposes.  Many list are available online (see above link) and handy tools to have available.   

  • Addition or Sequences – also, besides, finally, first, furthermore, in addition
  • Comparison – also, similarly, in the same way, likewise
  • Contrast – even so, however, in contrast, still, otherwise, nevertheless
  • Examples – for example, for instance, that is
  • Emphasis – Indeed, in fact, of course
  • Place – below, elsewhere, nearby, to the east
  • Repetition or Summary – in brief, in other words, in short, in summary
  • Cause and Effect – as a result, consequently, hence, therefore, thus
  • Time Sequence- Eventually, finally, meanwhile, next, once, then, today, now

[bctt tweet=”Common transitions and their purposes”]

In a similar manner, life also offers us many transitions. I recently experienced a major life transition (which is why my posts are void a couple expected blogs). On July 15, 2015, I had no idea what my immediate or long term future held. I didn’t know my future job or expected resources. My youngest was leaving the nest and starting college. Thus, I was unsure of my future purpose and direction. Nevertheless, by August 15, 2015, God had moved me to Savannah, moved me from a three bedroom home with a garage to a one bedroom condo, moved me into a new job, and made me an official Empty Nester all in one week. How is that for godly transitions? He built a bridge in 30 days which was easy to follow and easy to comprehend knowing His hand was in every aspect of my life transition.

As a result, I think God often likes to show off in how he makes a transition come about. During that month, He sure showed off to me. He had me laughing, praising, and full of joy as he provided  encouraging Christian shoppers at three yard sales to downsize. The sales alone were fun, joyful, and full of good wishes and prayers for my future from strangers. Next, He led me to the perfect condo close to the beach, and He provided kind people to help me move. (Living near the beach has been a desire for many years, but I expected it would not be reality until much later in life . . . Thank you Lord!) He opened a door to teach in a Christian environment, and as always, He provided the resources needed perfectly. This bridge to my next season in life was joyful, easy to cross, and covered with his protection all the way.

Meanwhile, my long term future is still unknown now living as an Empty  Nester  enjoying Fridays spent reading, writing, and biking.  As an adjunct instructor, for me my semesters are also my bridges. I know not where the end of this one will lead, and I do not worry. He has provided all I need for this semester. So although I am single, I am not alone. Today, January 15, 2016, I am here Lord, ready to cross the next bridge with you.

PS. When I wrote my bio 6 months ago, I never dreamed I would be living near the beach within 30 days. God is good. (Imagine big smile here.)

So, what life transitions has God used to show off in your world lately?

[bctt tweet=”What life transitions has God used to show off in your world lately?”]

Sources: Quick Access: Reference for Writers 7th ed.  Lynn Q Troyka and Douglas Hessee (65)

 

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Polishing Your Message

Common Error Comma Splices

 

Commas, commas, commas! There are so many rules, but the most common rule broken is creating a comma splice.

How do you know when you have made an error creating a comma splice? When you join two complete sentences together using nothing other than a comma to join them. If you can read the two sentences alone and they have a subject, verb, and a complete thought, you cannot join them together with only a comma.

So how do you correct a comma splice error?

[bctt tweet=”how do you correct a comma splice”]

There are several ways to correct comma splices, but the most common corrections include three easy steps.

1. Separate the two sentences with a period.

2. If the sentences are related in topic, you may join them together with a semicolon (;).

3. Join the two sentences together with a comma and a conjunction. An easy way to recall your conjunctions is to think

of the word FANBOYS: For, And, Nor, But, Or, Yet, So.

Formula: Complete Sentence + , Fanboy + Complete Sentence

SAMPLE:

Every day this week God has been showing off, but I am not surprised. Together we have had a terrific week full of surprises and challenges, yet with Him by my side, consistent joy and peace fueled each day and each task.  

Please do not think every time conjunction is used in a sentence a comma is required before it. That is not the case. Only when a complete sentence is present on each side of the conjunction is the comma required before the conjunction.

Again, when we join sentences with a comma alone, it creates a comma splice, and we can correct the error with the three ways above. Sentences written side by side with no punctuation may be referred to as  run-on or fused sentences and may confuse readers. We want to take the time to polish our writing and use our commas effectively.

Comma use can be confusing and often subject to style preferences, but regarding a commas splice, it is always incorrect usage. Proper use of commas will polish and add clarity to the work.

Next month I look forward to sharing how using transitions will help polish your writing. Currently I am experiencing  and embracing multiple major life transitions, and God is undoubtedly  polishing my faith! I am so excited!

[bctt tweet=” recall your conjunctions #commas # FANBOYS”]

Image Credit: Kevin Bondelli

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Polishing Your Message

Three Steps to Confident Feedback

Ever ask a friend’s, relative’s or colleague’s opinion on something you’ve written? You wait patiently, trying not to stare, interpreting each facial expression as a sign or clue. Finally a reply, “I like it,” or “It’s good,” is uttered with no additional words following.  You think to yourself, That’s it? That doesn’t help me.

Perhaps on occasion you have been the person responding above not knowing what to say.  You didn’t feel confident offering your thoughts. You’re not an expert or a published author. You still have trouble calling yourself a writer.

Well, “It’s good,” doesn’t say anything.  To a writer the phrase is too vague, too meaningless. He or she is seeking feedback more specific.

Whether asking for feedback or offering feedback, here are three steps to help readers share responses to a draft.

Before you start to read, let go of the pressure to catch every error or mistake. There is a difference between editing/proofreading and reader responses. Don’t be afraid. You are qualified to respond. You are an experienced reader, and writers need to know how their message is being received or interpreted. You are qualified to offer your reaction and thoughts to something you read.

Next, keep it simple. Keep it nice, and remember three things by ReadWriteThink.org:

PQP: Praise-Question-Polish.

Step 1: PRAISE.   Always find something positive to say about the piece you have been asked to read. Perhaps you like a particular phrase or word choice that lingers in your mind after reading, or you like how the writer describes a scene which easily forms in your mind’s eye. Always find something big or small to praise within the work.

question mark

Step 2: QUESTION.  As you read make notes of any questions that enter your mind. Maybe you wonder why the author doesn’t mention something you would expect to be included on the topic, or where the baby was in the scene when the mother went to the store. Any questions while reading can offer insight the author may need to improve or revise the current draft or work.

Step 3: POLISH.   Finally, offer specific ways you think the writer could polish the piece. These comments cannot be too vague. When you offer an idea to polish, the writer cannot be wondering what you mean. He or she needs a starting point or direction to act on your comment. Read-Write-Think suggests three types of comments: vague, general/useful, and specific. Below are examples of each:

Vague:  “Revise the second paragraph.” or “It’s good.”

Useful/general: “shiny engiveI don’t see enough background information or support for your idea.” or “Can you describe the kitchen scene better?”

Specific:  “I like how you give the points to remember, but can you add an example to help readers better understand what you mean?” or “The title doesn’t seem to convey the topic.”

If grammar and mechanics are your strengths, by all means offer comments and corrections. If you think something doesn’t look right, but you are not sure, you may suggest the writer double check a concern. The main thing about “Polish” is to give the writer a starting point or direction to consider changes.

Writers know what they intend to say in the message, but the receiver of the message does not always hear it as intended. If you are asked to offer quick feedback on a draft, just remember PQP. You can always find something positive to say, did you have any questions, and offer a specific comment the writer may consider to polish the piece.

You don’t have to be an expert or published author to provide helpful feedback to a writer. And as a writer, what you do with the feedback is entirely up to you. Some suggestions will spur new ideas, and some will lead to a dead end and remain left behind.  Nonetheless, diverse readers, diverse backgrounds, and diverse worldviews will encourage your message to be received differently. Stay focused on your message and meaning, use feedback to clarify and polish, then send your message out trusting the Holy Spirit to handle the rest.

[bctt tweet=”provide helpful feedback to a writer #writers #readers #polishing”]

[bctt tweet=”asking for feedback #writer #reader #drafts”]

Source acknowledged:  www.readwritethink.org,

ReadWriteThink.org is a nonprofit website maintained by the International Literacy Association and the National Council of Teachers of English, with support from the Verizon Foundation.”

Image Credits: Colin Harris, Dave Wilson   https://www.flickr.com/photos/

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Polishing Your Message

“Hi Their” – First Impressions

“Hi Their [sic]” were the two words I read. “Bye There!” was the instant reply in my head.

Really? Someone sent “Hi Their [sic]” popping onto my screen?

Only two words had travelled from his electronic dating profile to mine.  It took one second for them to occupy their chat box space, and it took two seconds for me to decide his fate.

Continue reading ““Hi Their” – First Impressions”