Author: Heather Malone

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The Picky Pen

Varying Sentence Structure

Do all of your sentences begin with “I,“ “we,” or a proper noun? Do all of them start with the word “the?” If so, this is a must-read for you. Writing that consists of simple sentences can seem very monotonous to readers and does not keep them engaged. You want there to be a flow to your passage. You do NOT want the reader to struggle getting through it, stopping and starting abruptly. Below are three key sentence variation strategies for bringing your passage from uninteresting to attention-grabbing.

Ways to vary sentence structure:

1.    Sentence Style/Structure

When it comes to sentence style and structure, I am mostly referring to the order of sentence elements. Although sentences should follow the basic sentence structure, they do not always have to be written in the order of subject, verb, and then object. We vary the way we speak, so we should do the same when we write. Sentence style and structure also pertains to the way phrases or clauses are combined. Playing with sentence order by adding, changing, or combining various elements can add pizzazz to a story.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

  • Changing the subject
  • Starting a sentence with an adverb
  • Starting a sentence with a prepositional phrase
  • Starting a sentence with a transition word or phrase
  • Using compound sentences (two independent clauses tied together with a coordinating conjunction)
  • Using complex sentences (sentences with a dependent and an independent clause)
  • Using compound-complex sentences (sentences that contain multiple independent clauses and at least one dependent clause)
  • Adding prepositional phrases

Here is an example:

  • She waited for the bus. She got on the bus. There were no seats.  For the first sentence, try starting with an adverb and changing the subject. Then add a dependent clause to the second sentence and combine it with the third sentence with a coordinating conjunction to make a complex-compound sentence. Notice how much more interesting it becomes.
  • Patiently, Camille waited for the bus. When it arrived, she got on the bus, but there were no seats.  Varying sentence style and structure can help keep your passage from sounding repetitive. It is very similar to word choice. If you use the same words or the same sentence structure throughout your story, readers quickly become bored, no matter what the topic may be.

2.    Sentence Length

Variety can also be as simple as using both short and long sentences throughout the passage. If a story consists of only brief sentences, there is no rhythm or flow. When there is a mix of both, it creates a rhythm that makes it much easier for the reader to follow. It allows for better comprehension, as well.  You can use short sentences to make a specific point, and longer sentences can go into more detail regarding the subject.

Read this paragraph consisting of only simple sentences. What do you notice?

My alarm did not go off this morning. I missed the train. I got to work late. My coffee spilled all over my blouse. I did not have anything to change into. The prospective employee was already waiting for me. It was embarrassing. Some of the interview questions were about punctuality and professional appearance. I hired the person on the spot. What a day!

Combine some of the sentences or lengthen them by adding transition words or phrases, and leave others short. You can see how this adds emphasis to the short sentences. It also adds to the flow and gives the paragraph somewhat of a rhythm.

My alarm did not go off this morning. Consequently, I missed the train and got to work late. Then, my coffee spilled all over my blouse, and I did not have anything to change into. The prospective employee was already waiting for me. Needless to say, it was embarrassing because some of the interview questions were about punctuality and professional appearance. I hired the person on the spot. What a day!

Be very careful, though, when creating compound and complex sentences. You want to ensure that that you are not using run-on sentences, as this will also make it difficult for the reader to follow.

3.    Sentence Type

Do you want to add a little more variety? Try changing the types of sentences that you use. You can use declarative, interrogative, and exclamatory sentences all in one passage. See how easy it is!

Use exclamatory sentences to add urgency or excitement. Interrogative sentences can help to organize a passage but can also help to engage the reader. They are a great way to clue the reader in on what the next section will be discussing.

When your passage contains sentences that vary in structure, length, and type, it tends to have a better flow. Additionally, it adds a tone or voice to your writing. They must, however, still be grammatically correct. It is always a good idea to have someone else read your writing. Reading it out loud is especially helpful, as well. These are very helpful ways to catch mistakes before your writing is out in the world.

And what does all this lead to? In case you didn’t already guess—It leads to readers who want to keep reading!

Heather Malone

Heather Malone writes children’s books that focus mainly on Montessori education, special education, and nonfiction. She also dabbles in fiction. Her nonfiction book, Montessori from A to Z, was published in 2023, and her blog on homeschooling students with disabilities using the Montessori method can be viewed at spedmontessorisolutions.com. Her passion is education, which is evidenced by spending over twenty-five years in the field before leaving the classroom to now provide technical assistance to school districts. She lives with her husband and son in Ohio and enjoys traveling to new places in her free time.

Categories
The Picky Pen

Considering Word Choice

Previously, we talked about the need to vary sentence structure to keep your writing from sounding repetitive. In that article, I compared it to word choice. This month, we are going to discuss how to avoid sounding like you are a writer with a limited vocabulary. Go on, break out those words you learned in English class! I remember filling out the numerous pages of activities in those vocabulary books we had in high school, but to be honest, the thesaurus was really my best friend in college. These days, finding replacement words is as easy as highlighting, right-clicking, and going to the built-in thesaurus in Microsoft Word.

There is more to word choice than just not sounding repetitive, though. Choosing the right word depends on several factors.

Questions to ask yourself when considering word choice:

1.    Who is your audience?

The words you choose should be appropriate for the intended audience. If your writing is informational, you are probably aiming at a specific audience; therefore, you will most likely be using technical jargon that those readers will already be familiar with. On the other hand, if you are aiming at the masses, you will use more commonly known words. Your choice of words is obviously going to be quite different if you are writing a piece such as a textbook than it would if you were writing a children’s picture book.

2.    Are your words specific enough for the reader to develop a clear picture?

Be descriptive. This can range from using a specific word to communicate meaning to using figurative language to make your writing more relatable to the reader.

Here are some examples to get you started.

·       Verbs

If you consistently use the word “said” when writing your dialogue, it begins to sound bland. Changing “said” to “squawked,” “bellowed,” or “sighed” lets the reader “hear” the tone being used, as well as envision the speaker’s body language. With a well-chosen verb, you may not even need an adverb, as it provides a visual description without it.

·       Subjects

The same subject in every sentence, such as a character, referring to an author, or using the same pronoun can quickly bore a reader. To keep the reader’s attention, you may want to use a transition phrase or place the dependent clause at the beginning of the sentence.

·       Similes and Metaphors

Use similes and metaphors to engage the senses when describing a scene. This allows the reader to activate prior experiences in order to understand what you are trying to convey. Experiences help the reader to create a vivid image, smell, feeling, or other sense in their mind.

·       Details

I am sure you are probably familiar with the phrase “It’s all in the details.” Well, that is exactly what we are talking about here. Those details are extremely important if you expect to have engaged readers that will return to your writing again and again. The reader does not want to know that the main character ate a hamburger. Instead, the reader wants to be able to visualize tasting that hamburger himself. It is not enough to say that you are standing in front of a mountain. Many people have never seen a mountain, so you need to paint a picture for that reader with sights and smells that they may already be familiar with.

3.    Is your passage too wordy?

I know, you are probably thinking that I just told you in the last section to be descriptive. Obviously, being descriptive often involves using lots of words, but not always. Sometimes, it is just best to be direct. This partially depends on your audience. If you are trying to inform readers who do not have prior knowledge of a subject, you may want to provide more specificity. On the other hand, you might not want to provide so much as to confuse the reader or make them lose interest. If you are writing to a group that is already well-informed on the subject, it may be best to be direct but use more technical jargon. There is a delicate balance to writing that can sometimes be difficult to navigate.

4.    Do your words fit the style and tone of your piece?

The tone of your writing serves to illustrate your emotional position, or feeling, regarding the subject you are writing about. Your word choice, the punctuation you use, and even sentence structure within your piece all convey what we call tone.

The two main types of tone are formal and informal.

·       Formal

Formal writing is typically used for academic purposes or other professional works. This tone is considered informational, or nonfiction. In this type of work, the writing is straightforward and full of facts. Sentences are grammatically correct, including no use of contractions.

·       Informal

Informal writing often sounds conversational and sometimes contains dialogue. Contractions can be used and the writer conveys more emotion.

Beyond being formal or informal, the tone of your writing can be just about any feeling there is.

Examples: angry, excited, friendly, worried, curious, humorous, cold

What tone do you think this piece has?

Word choice can be very difficult. Even if you are not sure which word to use during your initial version, you can (and should) edit and change words when you are done to make the piece flow well. Cut needless words so that your piece does not appear too wordy. Every word kept should express precisely what you want to communicate and should be needed in order to tell a part of the story.

Heather Malone

Heather Malone writes children’s books that focus mainly on Montessori education, special education, and nonfiction. She also dabbles in fiction. Her nonfiction book, Montessori from A to Z, was published in 2023, and her blog on homeschooling students with disabilities using the Montessori method can be viewed at spedmontessorisolutions.com. Her passion is education, which is evidenced by spending over twenty-five years in the field before leaving the classroom to now provide technical assistance to school districts. She lives with her husband and son in Ohio and enjoys traveling to new places in her free time.

Categories
The Picky Pen

Use of Transition Words or Phrases

Do all of your sentences sound similar, or are you having difficulty transitioning from one scene to the next? A reader needs to be able to easily follow along and will quickly lose interest if this does not happen. Editing can be frustrating, but it is crucial to your success as an author, so after you get your thoughts down on paper (or digitally, nowadays) you need to go back to be sure that there is a good flow to your thoughts. Transition words are an easy way to add variety to your sentences and at the same time make your story sound more interesting. There are three main ways to use transition words, which I will illustrate below.

Ways to Use Transition Words or Phrases:

1.  At the beginning of a sentence

Many times, transition words or phrases are used at the beginning of a sentence and are followed by a comma. This informs the reader of what they should do with the upcoming information, such as signaling a change in topic or that an example will follow.

Below is an example of a paragraph that does not use transition words. Note that it sounds choppy, and the relationship of the information is not very clear.

He made it back home with dinner. He and his wife shared a quick but lovely dinner, as his wife always seemed to be famished since discovering she was eating for two. They sat out on the patio and leaned back in their chaise lounges. They gazed up at the full moon and chatted until they were both sufficiently tired enough to go to bed.

If we add some transition words, the paragraph reads more smoothly and the relationship of the information becomes clearer.

Finally, he made it back with dinner. Next, he and his wife shared a quick but lovely dinner, as his wife always seemed to be famished since discovering she was eating for two. Afterward, they sat out on the patio and leaned back in their chaise lounges. Then, they gazed up at the full moon and chatted until they were both sufficiently tired enough to go to bed.

2.  At the beginning of a clause

Transition words do not always have to be at the beginning of a sentence. Sometimes, they can be better used in the middle of a sentence when joining two clauses. The transition word could be at the beginning of dependent or independent clauses. Again, this also adds a little bit more variety to your writing.

Here are a couple of examples of independent clauses that seem very short and uninteresting.

The two teenagers wanted to go to the fair. Neither one of them had a car.

This could be dangerous territory. Businesses should err on the side of caution.

When the sentences are joined with transition words, they become much more interesting to read.

The two teenagers wanted to go to the fair, although neither one of them had a car.

This could be dangerous territory; therefore, businesses should err on the side of caution.

Now, here is an example of an independent clause joined to a dependent clause by a transition word acting as a subordinating conjunction.

We are required to wear black or blue pants since we are employed there.

3.    At the beginning of a paragraph

One of the best uses of transition words is to insert them at the beginning of a paragraph. Try reading the following two paragraphs. You may observe that there seems to be an abrupt switch to a contrasting opinion in the second paragraph.

The use of social media for recruitment of new teachers provides many advantages for school districts. Open positions can be posted on various platforms of social media. Many districts have formed local consortiums where they can post open positions and a candidate can submit an application to be kept on file for use in any position posted on the site. Districts also have the option of posting available positions on the district Facebook page or the district website.

There are also drawbacks to using social media for recruiting. Not everyone uses social media; therefore, older candidates or those with low socioeconomic status might not be aware of the posting even though they may be a perfect fit for the job. People from other areas of the country may not know which sites to access, as well.

In order to better connect your ideas, try adding transition words or phrases at the beginning of some of your paragraphs. Read the same paragraphs below and pay attention to the differences. With the transition word used in the second paragraph, there is a much better flow to the passage. Notice also that transition words can have different purposes, such as referencing or to contradict.

In regard to the use of social media for recruitment of new teachers, it provides many advantages for school districts. Open positions can be posted on various platforms of social media. Many districts have formed local consortiums where they can post open positions and a candidate can submit an application to be kept on file for use in any position posted on the site. Districts also have the option of posting available positions on the district Facebook page or the district website.

In contrast, there are also drawbacks to using social media for recruiting. Not everyone uses social media; therefore, older candidates or those with low socioeconomic status might not be aware of the posting even though they may be a perfect fit for the job. People from other areas of the country may not know which sites to access, as well.

There are so many transition words and phrases to choose from! This is one of the aspects that makes writing so fun. You can experiment with various options and see which one speaks to you more. While the use of transition words and phrases makes your writing clearer and more cohesive, be sure not to overuse them. Too many can make a story sound repetitive and wordy. Additionally, it may be distracting to the reader so much so that your passage becomes difficult to read or understand.

I hope you enjoyed this introduction to transition words and phrases.

Happy writing!

Heather Malone writes children’s books that focus mainly on Montessori education, special education, and nonfiction. She also dabbles in fiction. Her nonfiction book, Montessori from A to Z, was published in 2023, and her blog on homeschooling students with disabilities using the Montessori method can be viewed at spedmontessorisolutions.com. Her passion is education, which is evidenced by spending over twenty-five years in the field before leaving the classroom to now provide technical assistance to school districts. She lives with her husband and son in Ohio and enjoys traveling to new places in her free time.