Build Up, or Tear Down?

Ephesians 4:29, one of my life verses, says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Paraphrased, will my words build up, or tear down, those who are listening? Here are a few more verses that exhort us about the words we speak:

• Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. (Ephesians 4:25)
• Brothers, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. (James 4:11)
• But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. (Colossians 3:8)

In every one of these verses, we are not told to “think about it,” “pray about it,” or “get counsel about it.” We’re not told, “try to…”  We’re told, “do it!” Since God never tells us to do something we are not able to do by the power of His Holy Spirit, we must have the ability to control what we speak.

Another powerful passage about words is in James:

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. (James 3:9-10)

In God’s fine-tuning of my words, He showed me cursing isn’t always overt, loud, or angry. He revealed to me a series of questions I can ask myself about all I write, speak, and even think.

Is what I’m about to write or speak going to

• build up, or tear down?
• encourage, or discourage?
• praise, or cut down?
• bring laughter, but at someone else’s expense?
• sound witty, or cutting?
• promote unity, or breed strife?
• make peace, or incite war?
• make someone laugh, or hurt their feelings/mock them?
• promote honor, or show disrespect?
• foster trust, or spread gossip?

God showed me that each “or” in my list is cursing—bringing death with my words instead of speaking life. I can share two hours of awesome God stories with someone and invalidate it in a quick minute with careless cursing.

Whatever words we choose to speak are just that: our choice. The Bible leaves no room for debate about that—we can exercise our free will any way we choose, including what we speak.

I believe Paul’s exhortations also apply to all we write, including what we post on social media. Once we post, we have no control over who reads or shares our words. Our potential readers check us out on social media, and that’s how they get to know us. What they see will determine whether or not they want to read our books.

Would you be interested in a book about the amazing grace of God when you see judgmental comments about others on the author’s Facebook page?

Before you hit “enter” for a post on Twitter, Facebook, or other social media, ask yourself: “will my words build up, or tear down?” To release them or not is always your choice.

Choose wisely.

Bio:

Mary Graziano Scro, a graduate of Christian Communicators Conference, is an inspirational author, speaker, and blogger who intuitively weaves analogies and personal testimony with practical biblical teaching. Whether “live” or at the keyboard, Mary loves sharing what God has done in her life to encourage others about the awesome life God has planned for us, IF we are willing to choose wisely in our everyday lives (John 8:31-32). And it’s not only about us – the more we invest in our own unique relationship with Jesus, the more visible He is to a world that desperately needs Him. You can reach Mary on:

Facebook: Mary Graziano Scro https://www.facebook.com/don.mary.scro

Twitter: @marygscro

LinkedIn: Mary Graziano Scro  https://www.linkedin.com/pub/mary-scro/11/600/a4b

Blogs: Life Is Not A Formula at www.marygscro.com