Category: Editing

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The Picky Pen

Varying Sentence Structure

Do all of your sentences begin with “I,“ “we,” or a proper noun? Do all of them start with the word “the?” If so, this is a must-read for you. Writing that consists of simple sentences can seem very monotonous to readers and does not keep them engaged. You want there to be a flow to your passage. You do NOT want the reader to struggle getting through it, stopping and starting abruptly. Below are three key sentence variation strategies for bringing your passage from uninteresting to attention-grabbing.

Ways to vary sentence structure:

1.    Sentence Style/Structure

When it comes to sentence style and structure, I am mostly referring to the order of sentence elements. Although sentences should follow the basic sentence structure, they do not always have to be written in the order of subject, verb, and then object. We vary the way we speak, so we should do the same when we write. Sentence style and structure also pertains to the way phrases or clauses are combined. Playing with sentence order by adding, changing, or combining various elements can add pizzazz to a story.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

  • Changing the subject
  • Starting a sentence with an adverb
  • Starting a sentence with a prepositional phrase
  • Starting a sentence with a transition word or phrase
  • Using compound sentences (two independent clauses tied together with a coordinating conjunction)
  • Using complex sentences (sentences with a dependent and an independent clause)
  • Using compound-complex sentences (sentences that contain multiple independent clauses and at least one dependent clause)
  • Adding prepositional phrases

Here is an example:

  • She waited for the bus. She got on the bus. There were no seats.  For the first sentence, try starting with an adverb and changing the subject. Then add a dependent clause to the second sentence and combine it with the third sentence with a coordinating conjunction to make a complex-compound sentence. Notice how much more interesting it becomes.
  • Patiently, Camille waited for the bus. When it arrived, she got on the bus, but there were no seats.  Varying sentence style and structure can help keep your passage from sounding repetitive. It is very similar to word choice. If you use the same words or the same sentence structure throughout your story, readers quickly become bored, no matter what the topic may be.

2.    Sentence Length

Variety can also be as simple as using both short and long sentences throughout the passage. If a story consists of only brief sentences, there is no rhythm or flow. When there is a mix of both, it creates a rhythm that makes it much easier for the reader to follow. It allows for better comprehension, as well.  You can use short sentences to make a specific point, and longer sentences can go into more detail regarding the subject.

Read this paragraph consisting of only simple sentences. What do you notice?

My alarm did not go off this morning. I missed the train. I got to work late. My coffee spilled all over my blouse. I did not have anything to change into. The prospective employee was already waiting for me. It was embarrassing. Some of the interview questions were about punctuality and professional appearance. I hired the person on the spot. What a day!

Combine some of the sentences or lengthen them by adding transition words or phrases, and leave others short. You can see how this adds emphasis to the short sentences. It also adds to the flow and gives the paragraph somewhat of a rhythm.

My alarm did not go off this morning. Consequently, I missed the train and got to work late. Then, my coffee spilled all over my blouse, and I did not have anything to change into. The prospective employee was already waiting for me. Needless to say, it was embarrassing because some of the interview questions were about punctuality and professional appearance. I hired the person on the spot. What a day!

Be very careful, though, when creating compound and complex sentences. You want to ensure that that you are not using run-on sentences, as this will also make it difficult for the reader to follow.

3.    Sentence Type

Do you want to add a little more variety? Try changing the types of sentences that you use. You can use declarative, interrogative, and exclamatory sentences all in one passage. See how easy it is!

Use exclamatory sentences to add urgency or excitement. Interrogative sentences can help to organize a passage but can also help to engage the reader. They are a great way to clue the reader in on what the next section will be discussing.

When your passage contains sentences that vary in structure, length, and type, it tends to have a better flow. Additionally, it adds a tone or voice to your writing. They must, however, still be grammatically correct. It is always a good idea to have someone else read your writing. Reading it out loud is especially helpful, as well. These are very helpful ways to catch mistakes before your writing is out in the world.

And what does all this lead to? In case you didn’t already guess—It leads to readers who want to keep reading!

Heather Malone

Heather Malone writes children’s books that focus mainly on Montessori education, special education, and nonfiction. She also dabbles in fiction. Her nonfiction book, Montessori from A to Z, was published in 2023, and her blog on homeschooling students with disabilities using the Montessori method can be viewed at spedmontessorisolutions.com. Her passion is education, which is evidenced by spending over twenty-five years in the field before leaving the classroom to now provide technical assistance to school districts. She lives with her husband and son in Ohio and enjoys traveling to new places in her free time.

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The Picky Pen

Considering Word Choice

Previously, we talked about the need to vary sentence structure to keep your writing from sounding repetitive. In that article, I compared it to word choice. This month, we are going to discuss how to avoid sounding like you are a writer with a limited vocabulary. Go on, break out those words you learned in English class! I remember filling out the numerous pages of activities in those vocabulary books we had in high school, but to be honest, the thesaurus was really my best friend in college. These days, finding replacement words is as easy as highlighting, right-clicking, and going to the built-in thesaurus in Microsoft Word.

There is more to word choice than just not sounding repetitive, though. Choosing the right word depends on several factors.

Questions to ask yourself when considering word choice:

1.    Who is your audience?

The words you choose should be appropriate for the intended audience. If your writing is informational, you are probably aiming at a specific audience; therefore, you will most likely be using technical jargon that those readers will already be familiar with. On the other hand, if you are aiming at the masses, you will use more commonly known words. Your choice of words is obviously going to be quite different if you are writing a piece such as a textbook than it would if you were writing a children’s picture book.

2.    Are your words specific enough for the reader to develop a clear picture?

Be descriptive. This can range from using a specific word to communicate meaning to using figurative language to make your writing more relatable to the reader.

Here are some examples to get you started.

·       Verbs

If you consistently use the word “said” when writing your dialogue, it begins to sound bland. Changing “said” to “squawked,” “bellowed,” or “sighed” lets the reader “hear” the tone being used, as well as envision the speaker’s body language. With a well-chosen verb, you may not even need an adverb, as it provides a visual description without it.

·       Subjects

The same subject in every sentence, such as a character, referring to an author, or using the same pronoun can quickly bore a reader. To keep the reader’s attention, you may want to use a transition phrase or place the dependent clause at the beginning of the sentence.

·       Similes and Metaphors

Use similes and metaphors to engage the senses when describing a scene. This allows the reader to activate prior experiences in order to understand what you are trying to convey. Experiences help the reader to create a vivid image, smell, feeling, or other sense in their mind.

·       Details

I am sure you are probably familiar with the phrase “It’s all in the details.” Well, that is exactly what we are talking about here. Those details are extremely important if you expect to have engaged readers that will return to your writing again and again. The reader does not want to know that the main character ate a hamburger. Instead, the reader wants to be able to visualize tasting that hamburger himself. It is not enough to say that you are standing in front of a mountain. Many people have never seen a mountain, so you need to paint a picture for that reader with sights and smells that they may already be familiar with.

3.    Is your passage too wordy?

I know, you are probably thinking that I just told you in the last section to be descriptive. Obviously, being descriptive often involves using lots of words, but not always. Sometimes, it is just best to be direct. This partially depends on your audience. If you are trying to inform readers who do not have prior knowledge of a subject, you may want to provide more specificity. On the other hand, you might not want to provide so much as to confuse the reader or make them lose interest. If you are writing to a group that is already well-informed on the subject, it may be best to be direct but use more technical jargon. There is a delicate balance to writing that can sometimes be difficult to navigate.

4.    Do your words fit the style and tone of your piece?

The tone of your writing serves to illustrate your emotional position, or feeling, regarding the subject you are writing about. Your word choice, the punctuation you use, and even sentence structure within your piece all convey what we call tone.

The two main types of tone are formal and informal.

·       Formal

Formal writing is typically used for academic purposes or other professional works. This tone is considered informational, or nonfiction. In this type of work, the writing is straightforward and full of facts. Sentences are grammatically correct, including no use of contractions.

·       Informal

Informal writing often sounds conversational and sometimes contains dialogue. Contractions can be used and the writer conveys more emotion.

Beyond being formal or informal, the tone of your writing can be just about any feeling there is.

Examples: angry, excited, friendly, worried, curious, humorous, cold

What tone do you think this piece has?

Word choice can be very difficult. Even if you are not sure which word to use during your initial version, you can (and should) edit and change words when you are done to make the piece flow well. Cut needless words so that your piece does not appear too wordy. Every word kept should express precisely what you want to communicate and should be needed in order to tell a part of the story.

Heather Malone

Heather Malone writes children’s books that focus mainly on Montessori education, special education, and nonfiction. She also dabbles in fiction. Her nonfiction book, Montessori from A to Z, was published in 2023, and her blog on homeschooling students with disabilities using the Montessori method can be viewed at spedmontessorisolutions.com. Her passion is education, which is evidenced by spending over twenty-five years in the field before leaving the classroom to now provide technical assistance to school districts. She lives with her husband and son in Ohio and enjoys traveling to new places in her free time.

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The Picky Pen

Use of Transition Words or Phrases

Do all of your sentences sound similar, or are you having difficulty transitioning from one scene to the next? A reader needs to be able to easily follow along and will quickly lose interest if this does not happen. Editing can be frustrating, but it is crucial to your success as an author, so after you get your thoughts down on paper (or digitally, nowadays) you need to go back to be sure that there is a good flow to your thoughts. Transition words are an easy way to add variety to your sentences and at the same time make your story sound more interesting. There are three main ways to use transition words, which I will illustrate below.

Ways to Use Transition Words or Phrases:

1.  At the beginning of a sentence

Many times, transition words or phrases are used at the beginning of a sentence and are followed by a comma. This informs the reader of what they should do with the upcoming information, such as signaling a change in topic or that an example will follow.

Below is an example of a paragraph that does not use transition words. Note that it sounds choppy, and the relationship of the information is not very clear.

He made it back home with dinner. He and his wife shared a quick but lovely dinner, as his wife always seemed to be famished since discovering she was eating for two. They sat out on the patio and leaned back in their chaise lounges. They gazed up at the full moon and chatted until they were both sufficiently tired enough to go to bed.

If we add some transition words, the paragraph reads more smoothly and the relationship of the information becomes clearer.

Finally, he made it back with dinner. Next, he and his wife shared a quick but lovely dinner, as his wife always seemed to be famished since discovering she was eating for two. Afterward, they sat out on the patio and leaned back in their chaise lounges. Then, they gazed up at the full moon and chatted until they were both sufficiently tired enough to go to bed.

2.  At the beginning of a clause

Transition words do not always have to be at the beginning of a sentence. Sometimes, they can be better used in the middle of a sentence when joining two clauses. The transition word could be at the beginning of dependent or independent clauses. Again, this also adds a little bit more variety to your writing.

Here are a couple of examples of independent clauses that seem very short and uninteresting.

The two teenagers wanted to go to the fair. Neither one of them had a car.

This could be dangerous territory. Businesses should err on the side of caution.

When the sentences are joined with transition words, they become much more interesting to read.

The two teenagers wanted to go to the fair, although neither one of them had a car.

This could be dangerous territory; therefore, businesses should err on the side of caution.

Now, here is an example of an independent clause joined to a dependent clause by a transition word acting as a subordinating conjunction.

We are required to wear black or blue pants since we are employed there.

3.    At the beginning of a paragraph

One of the best uses of transition words is to insert them at the beginning of a paragraph. Try reading the following two paragraphs. You may observe that there seems to be an abrupt switch to a contrasting opinion in the second paragraph.

The use of social media for recruitment of new teachers provides many advantages for school districts. Open positions can be posted on various platforms of social media. Many districts have formed local consortiums where they can post open positions and a candidate can submit an application to be kept on file for use in any position posted on the site. Districts also have the option of posting available positions on the district Facebook page or the district website.

There are also drawbacks to using social media for recruiting. Not everyone uses social media; therefore, older candidates or those with low socioeconomic status might not be aware of the posting even though they may be a perfect fit for the job. People from other areas of the country may not know which sites to access, as well.

In order to better connect your ideas, try adding transition words or phrases at the beginning of some of your paragraphs. Read the same paragraphs below and pay attention to the differences. With the transition word used in the second paragraph, there is a much better flow to the passage. Notice also that transition words can have different purposes, such as referencing or to contradict.

In regard to the use of social media for recruitment of new teachers, it provides many advantages for school districts. Open positions can be posted on various platforms of social media. Many districts have formed local consortiums where they can post open positions and a candidate can submit an application to be kept on file for use in any position posted on the site. Districts also have the option of posting available positions on the district Facebook page or the district website.

In contrast, there are also drawbacks to using social media for recruiting. Not everyone uses social media; therefore, older candidates or those with low socioeconomic status might not be aware of the posting even though they may be a perfect fit for the job. People from other areas of the country may not know which sites to access, as well.

There are so many transition words and phrases to choose from! This is one of the aspects that makes writing so fun. You can experiment with various options and see which one speaks to you more. While the use of transition words and phrases makes your writing clearer and more cohesive, be sure not to overuse them. Too many can make a story sound repetitive and wordy. Additionally, it may be distracting to the reader so much so that your passage becomes difficult to read or understand.

I hope you enjoyed this introduction to transition words and phrases.

Happy writing!

Heather Malone writes children’s books that focus mainly on Montessori education, special education, and nonfiction. She also dabbles in fiction. Her nonfiction book, Montessori from A to Z, was published in 2023, and her blog on homeschooling students with disabilities using the Montessori method can be viewed at spedmontessorisolutions.com. Her passion is education, which is evidenced by spending over twenty-five years in the field before leaving the classroom to now provide technical assistance to school districts. She lives with her husband and son in Ohio and enjoys traveling to new places in her free time.

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This Post Is Better

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Have you ever decided to buy a certain product because the packaging assures you that it’s better? I didn’t have to look very hard around my house to find an example. My dish soap promises fifty-percent less scrubbing. We don’t have a dishwasher, so less scrubbing is definitely appealing. However, it’s probably a good idea before I spend my money on this product to ask myself, “Fifty-percent less scrubbing than what?”

Incomplete Comparisons

An incomplete comparison only tells you part of the story. In the dish soap example, I’m encouraged to believe that this product is better than another one, but I don’t know which product that is. Maybe it depends on what I use to scrub with, or if it’s just compared to not using soap at all. The bottom line is, there’s not enough information. The comparison is incomplete.

Ex. Brand name dish soap is more effective than bargain brand dish soap.

This example gives a complete comparison. The function word “than” links two things that are being compared: brand name versus bargain brand dish soap. Now I have enough information to make an informed decision.

When It Could Work

Sometimes you can get away with an incomplete comparison. 

Ex. Ida’s gardens are tidier than Allie’s. 

Imagine that this sentence appears in a story that you’re writing. You’ve explained who Ida and Allie are. Part of the plot is that these neighbor ladies compete over everything, especially their prize-winning backyard gardens. With all of that context, the reader could reasonably assume that you mean Ida’s gardens are tidier than Allie’s gardens, even though “garden” was left out of the sentence. It’s still an incomplete comparison, but you can get away with it.

However, if this were the opening sentence of a book or a chapter or just a stand-alone example sentence in a proofreading article somewhere, then its incompleteness is a problem. The reader would definitely infer that you mean “garden” but it could be quite a lot of other things as well. Ida’s gardens could be tidier than Allie’s living room, which you could be using to contrast how Ida is so very neat and tidy that even her gardens look good while Allie is the complete opposite. 

How To Fix It

Incomplete comparisons are easily resolved.

Ex. Andres loves cars and shoes more than Alexandra.

This incomplete comparison could cause hurt feelings. You could infer that Andres loves cars and shoes more than Alexandra loves cars and shoes, in which case we’re talking about preferences. But you could also infer that Andres loves cars and shoes more than he loves Alexandra, which sounds sad for Alexandra!  

To fix it, you need to give more information. Here are two ways to complete the comparisons.

Ex. Andres loves cars and shoes more than Alexandra loves those things. They just don’t see eye to eye.

Ex. Andres loves cars and shoes more than he loves Alexandra. Alexandra knows that Andres cares more about cars and shoes than he does about her, so she thinks she needs a new boyfriend.

When you’re writing, always double check that your comparisons are obviously comparing two or more things. If you can’t answer the questions, “Compared to what?” then you probably need a revision.

How About You?

Have you ever found any funny incomplete comparisons that have multiple possible meanings? What products can you find around your house that have used incomplete comparisons to make a sale?

Dayna Betz

Dayna Betz is a full-time freelancer providing proofreading and editing services to help writers put their best foot forward. She also enjoys reading and writing book reviews. Head over to her site, Betz Literary to learn more.

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Sentence Fragments Missing Something.

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What does the title of this article say? Reread it. Did your brain fill in the missing word automatically or did you stumble as you read, realizing that something wasn’t quite right? A sentence fragment is a string of words that is punctuated like a sentence but is missing something crucial like the subject or the verb.

Another example:

Although sentence fragments can sometimes be intentional. Most of the time they are accidents. 

“Although sentence fragments can sometimes be intentional” is written as a complete sentence. We know that because it ends with a period. However, it is not a complete thought. 

Subordinating Conjunctions

A subordinating conjunction like “although” is used to connect a dependent clause (one that can’t stand on its own because it depends on the other clause for context) to an independent clause. The phrase “although sentence fragments can sometimes be intentional” tells us some information, but not enough. The word “although” is a clue. It indicates that there is going to be more information and that that information is going to be contrary to what we just learned.

Although sentence fragments can sometimes be intentional, most of the time they are accidents.

Other subordinating conjunctions include “because”; “in order that”; “while”; and “after”.

Ex. After studying for weeks, Hector knew he would pass his math final.

Ex. In order that the payment arrived on time, Linda paid extra for express shipping.

In either example, if you put a period where the comma is, you would be cutting off your dependent clause from the independent clause, causing a fragment to form.

Adverbs

Adverbs describe verbs (among other things), but they must be connected to the verb they describe by appearing in the same sentence. 

Ex: I love chocolate mousse. Particularly when my husband makes it.

“Particularly when my husband makes it” is a fragment because it belongs to the sentence before it; it cannot stand on its own. I know this because I don’t know what I’m particular about without the context of the sentence that comes before it.

Fragments beginning with adverbs are the types of phrases that authors most often use on purpose in order to provide emphasis to an idea. However, it is important to know your audience before you use fragments in this way. While it may work sometimes in journalism or in fiction writing, fragments are inappropriate in formal writing of any sort including business emails, academic papers, and proposals.

Making Corrections

Once you start noticing fragments. You have to fix them. Think of the first phrase as a cliffhanger. Once I notice fragments, what will happen?! You can often simply correct a fragment by checking before and after it to see where you can most easily attach it to a complete sentence. Often, this only requires an adjustment to the punctuation.

Ex. Once you start noticing fragments, you have to fix them. 

Other times, you might need to reword your phrase to make it complete. 

Ex. Because of the weather.

You might say that as a response during a conversation, but it’s not proper grammar or a complete thought. You need to give more information to make sure that your audience understands.

Ex. Because of the weather, the rest of the game was canceled.

Ex. The beach trip was rescheduled because of the weather.

Both are correct. By connecting the orphan phrase to an independent clause, it now makes sense.

What About You?

Do you often find yourself using fragments in your writing, either on purpose or by accident? Have you started to notice more mistakes as you proofread? What strategies do you use to catch your fragments?

Dayna Betz

Dayna Betz is a full-time freelancer providing proofreading and editing services to help writers put their best foot forward. She also enjoys reading and writing book reviews. Head over to her site, Betz Literary to learn more.

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Common Mistakes I See When Proofreading: Vocabulary, Part 3

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Let’s talk about contractions. I mentioned them last month in the context of using apostrophes correctly. Some words that are contracts are some of the frequent flier mistakes that trip up writers on a regular basis. Here are three to keep an eye on. 

1. You’re vs. your

“You’re” is the shortened form of “you” + “are”. 

Ex. “You’re definitely in trouble,” she said, shaking her head as she surveyed the utter disaster that had previously been the kitchen.

“Your” is possessive.

Ex. “Your dog has been in my yard every day this week. It has to stop!” Mr. Viking glared through smudged glasses and stalked away. 

Ex. “It seems that Mr. Viking has failed to recognize the irony of his statement,” Dan said, smirking while patting Mr. Pickles’ head. “He has been in your yard every day this week telling you you’re a menace.”

2. It’s vs. its

This error is one that probably gets more print space than any other common mistake out there, but it happens SO often that I’ll go ahead and add my two cents.

“It’s” is formed by “it” + “is”.

Ex. It’s time to start exercising again now that the kids are in school.

“Its” is possessive.

Ex. Its shell is dark green and brown.

Ex. It’s hard to tell what its favorite food is—lettuce or broccoli.

3. We’re vs. were vs. where

This last one is mostly tricky if the way that you pronounce these words is similar.

“We’re” is “we” + “are”.
“Were” is the past tense form of “to be”.

“Where” is either a noun or an adverb.

Ex. We’re [we are] excited to go on vacation, but where we are going, there were a lot of COVID cases, so now we’re [we are] worried.

A simple way to help you decide which form to use is to try both forms in the sentence that you’re writing. 

Decide between *your* and *you’re* in this sentence:

I hope you’re happy now. 

Do you want to say “I hope *you are* happy” or “I hope *your* happy”?? 

Of course, you mean to say *you are* which means you need the contraction “you’re” and not the possessive “your.”

What Do You Think?

Which of these three is the hardest for you? I still say “it is” to myself to make sure that it fits in any sentence I’m writing. 

Dayna Betz

Dayna Betz is a full-time freelancer providing proofreading and editing services to help writers put their best foot forward. She also enjoys reading and writing book reviews. Head over to her site, Betz Literary, to learn more.

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Do You Know The Apostrophe Basics?

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In elementary school, I distinctly remember doing numerous worksheets on the possessive -s. There would be a list of words or short phrases that we had to turn into the possessive. For example, it might say “dog” and we had to write “dog’s” and then use that word in a sentence: The dog’s snack is tasty.

Later, we would learn that you can create contractions by combining words and using a little mark to show where some of the letters were left out. The worksheet had “it is” and we had to make “it’s”. 

The thing that I don’t really remember anyone talking about was the fact that the possessive -s and contractions were both formed using the same symbol—the apostrophe. And it wasn’t until I was older and writing about language that I realized apostrophes could have other functions and that the simple grade school rules are actually a bit more complex.

The Possessive

The singular possessive is pretty easy. “The dog’s toy” or “the cat’s favorite spot” is just adding an apostrophe plus -s to the end of a singular noun. Did you remember, though, that if a noun ends in -s and the word that follows it also ends in -s that you need to use only the apostrophe? 

Ex. The actress’ script

The plural form of most possessives is formed by adding the apostrophe after the -s.

Ex. The roots’ path

If two or more nouns share a possession, you only add the apostrophe -s after the second person.

Ex. Fred and Cathy’s beach house

But if you’re talking about two people who each possess different things, then you use the apostrophe -s after both.

Ex. Jordan’s and Nick’s colleges (Jordan and Nick go to different colleges)

Contractions

In a contraction, an apostrophe suggests that something is missing. To combine “would have”, you would write “would’ve” with the apostrophe indicating that the “ha-” in “have” has been eliminated. 

Odds and Ends

Names

A person’s name ending in -s like “Jess” may take an apostrophe -s in some styles or only an apostrophe in others. 

Ex. Jess’ garden -or- Jess’s garden (Both are correct)

Silent -S

If the final -s of a word is silent, use the apostrophe to show possession. 

Ex. Illinois’ capital is Springfield.

Omitted Characters

To show that a number or letter is missing from a word or phrase, you can use an apostrophe. 

Ex. The musical Singin’ in the Rain uses the apostrophe to show that the -g is missing from the end of “Singing”.

You can also do this with numbers. 

Ex. I graduated high school with the class of ‘08.

How about you?

Have you ever struggled with apostrophe placement? Hopefully this review of apostrophe basics will help you out!

Dayna Betz

Dayna Betz is a full-time freelancer providing proofreading and editing services to help writers put their best foot forward. She also enjoys reading and writing book reviews. Head over to her site to learn more: https://betzliterary.com.

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Self-Help Resources for Proofreading

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Before you send off your precious manuscript to your editor, you probably want to make sure that it’s as polished as you can possibly get it. Why? While your editor will certainly help you with your proofreading errors, the real focus is supposed to be on the storyline itself. By presenting a well-proofread document, you ensure that your editor can concentrate on helping you to perfect the storyline instead of your grammar.

If you’re going to do the work of proofreading by yourself, it’s essential to have some good tools on hand to help you. Here are a few things I use when I’m proofreading.

1. A Spell Checker

The absolute simplest way to get started proofreading. Just make sure to actually run the check, and don’t just assume it’s being done automatically. Use the tool that comes with your word processor or download something like Grammarly to help you catch your mistakes.

2. A Dictionary

When I proofread, I always have a dictionary tab open on my computer. I most often use it when I think that a word is being misused and I need to check the definition. Most dictionaries also have a thesaurus feature which is useful for finding replacements for overused words. 

For the most part, the actual dictionary that you choose is up to you since you’re the author. Merriam-Webster is a classic, and it’s my go-to. However, you may find that a different dictionary is more beneficial for you depending on the style of your writing, where your story is located, or how technical your writing is.

3. Chicago Manual of Style

If you like rules, consider getting a subscription to Chicago Manual of Style Online. CMOS is the ultimate grammar nerd’s guide to every question you can possibly think to ask about nouns, verbs, adjective placement, quotation marks, capitalization—you name it, there’s a rule. The learning curve is a little steep. You sort of have to know what you’re looking for in order to search the database, but if you’re willing to take the time, it’s an incredibly detailed resource. You can do a 30-day free trial, and the annual subscription fee is very affordable.

4. Quick and Dirty Tips from Grammar Girl

If CMOS sounds too intense (it can definitely be confusing), look up Grammar Girl’s Quick and Dirty Tips. Now these are some accessible grammar tips. I struggle with the difference between the appropriate use of “that” versus “which”. Grammar Girl has the clearest explanation that I’ve found for how to decide which one to use. The articles are short, concise, and have practical examples to get you on the right track. 

5. The Best Punctuation Book, Period.

I’ve mentioned this book before and bears repeating. The Best Punctuation Book, Period by June Casagrande is truly the best. The sheer number of comma rules that exist can be totally overwhelming, so forget trying to actually use them! Casagrande breaks down each one in her book with simple explanations and tons of examples. This book is the middle ground between CMOS and Grammar Girl. Get a copy, you won’t be sorry you did.

6. Google

Obvious, perhaps, but worth mentioning. When I’m stuck, a simple Google search can do wonders. One thing that I really rely on Google for are standards for things that aren’t hard and fast rules. Over the course of the last year or so, there has been a lot of discussion about how to capitalize (or not) a person’s race. Is it capital B for Black or lowercase b? Does the same rule apply for White or not? I needed to answer this question (and how to properly write about covid-19) a number of times, so I turned to Google. I was able to look at reputable news sites to see what professional journalists were doing. For the question on race, there’s actually a blog on the Associated Press’s site that outlined the consensus they had reached on what was appropriate: APnews-race-and-ethnicity 

Now, the thing is that you may find a consensus, and you may not. When discussing race, CMOS didn’t want to commit to a formal change to the rules between editions, but in this article they did recommend using capital B and otherwise deferring to an author or editor’s preferences:

Ultimately, you and your editor will make decisions on things like this that don’t have a hard and fast rule, but Google can be a great resource to find out what other professional writers are doing.

Now you’re ready to proofread! If you still have questions on the process, look back at my very first post about tips for self-proofing for a polished product. Happy proofreading!

Dayna Betz

Dayna Betz is a full-time freelancer providing proofreading and editing services to help writers put their best foot forward. She also enjoys reading and writing book reviews. Head over to her site to learn more: betzliterary.com.

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Proofed and Polished

A Quintessential Quick Guide to Quotation Marks to Quell Your Quotation Qualms

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Recently, I edited a PhD dissertation for a literature major which mostly meant that I had to wade through A LOT of quotations. When you’re adding another person’s words to your text — whether that person is real or fictional — there are rules about how to place quotation marks alongside other punctuation.

Punctuation Placement

The most confusing part, in my opinion, is determining when it is appropriate to use a comma to introduce a quotation versus when you don’t need one. You can also use a colon, but only in certain scenarios. But, of course, if you’re going to begin a quotation, interrupt it, then come back to it, you have to be sure to put quotation marks, commas, periods, and single quotation marks in all the right places. Phew! 

Now, aside from this handy quick guide on quotation marks, the most easily understood reference that I can recommend is The best punctuation book, period. by June Casagrande. You can use The Chicago Manual of Style or trusty old Google, but sometimes the explanations that you find are written by professional grammarians for professional grammarians, and your eyes will glaze over as you read (mine do, too). Casagrande’s book is written to be understood by anyone and everyone, so pick yourself up a copy. In the meantime, here are a few quick-hitting tips to get you started.

1. Use a comma to set off a quotation that is attributed to a certain speaker.

Ex.

Once they had finally left the theater, Larissa said to Timothy, “What was it about the show that bothered you so much?”

Since the author is introducing something that the character, Larissa, said a comma should be used to introduce her words.

Ex. 

“It’s nothing,” Timothy said, “except that I just had a really hard time following it from the beginning, so by the middle I got really bored.”

“It’s nothing,” Timothy said. “I just had a really hard time following it from the beginning, so by the middle I got really bored.”

In the first quote from Timothy, a comma comes after “nothing” and after “said” to show that the author is interrupting to emphasize who the speaker is.

In the second quote, Timothy’s quotations are broken into two separate sentences, so only the first comma is needed because a period then closes the phrase before another begins.

2. A comma is not needed if the quote is integrated into the sentence.

Ex.

Anthony reported that the mayor “expressed condolences for the families’ losses.”

The quotation fits effortlessly into the flow of the sentence, so there is no need to put a comma before it.

3. Single quotation marks are used to indicate a quote within a quote.

Ex. 

Elly said, “Don’t call me ‘princess.’”

Elly is being quoted as telling someone that she doesn’t want to be called “princess.” Which leads us to No. 4…

4. Outside of dialogue, resume the use of double quotation marks to indicate that a word is being used in a nonstandard form or that it’s being emphasized. 

Ex. 

Can you really say that meat you get off of a 3-D printer is “natural?”

The author of this sentence is casting doubt on the use of “natural” when referring to printed meat. There’s a common misconception that single quotation marks are utilized to convey sarcasm or irony. In fact, single quotation marks are really only ever used within double quotation marks in dialogue. Some news agencies will use single quotes in article titles, but that’s a house-specific style.

5. Punctuation at the end of dialogue always goes inside quotation marks…in the United States.

Ex. 

Brian exclaimed, “I can’t believe you fell for that!”

“Yeah, I guess I was a bit distracted,” Rachael said, rolling her eyes and smiling, “when I thought I was about to be swallowed by that ‘hole.’”

The exclamation point, comma, and period go inside the quotation marks. That’s standard in the US according to The Chicago Manual of Style, but British English has different rules. Ultimately, that suggests that the placement of punctuation with quotation marks doesn’t generally have a significant impact on the meaning of a sentence. Be consistent with your formatting, or simply follow the house style guide provided by your editor.

How About You?

Have you ever found yourself confused by the placement of punctuation when adding dialogue to your writing?

Dayna Betz is a full-time freelancer providing proofreading and editing services to help writers put their best foot forward. She also enjoys reading and writing book reviews. Head over to her site to learn more: https://betzliterary.com.

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Proofed and Polished

Why Can’t We Just Agree? Subject-Verb Agreement

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When I was teaching English Learners in high school, we spent A LOT of time studying subject-verb agreement. I did this every single year with every single level because I thoroughly enjoyed torturing my students with grammar rules it’s incredibly important! From high school students learning English to PhD candidates, from journalists to CEOs, a failure to grasp subject-verb agreement can make your writing look lousy! 

What is Subject-Verb Agreement?

From here on out, let’s use SVA when we’re talking about this topic because typing out subject-verb agreement over and over is tiring. 

Very simply, subjects and verbs in a sentence must agree in number. Here are a few examples.

Example 1

The dog jumps when he sees me.

“Dog” is the subject. “Dog” is singular, so we use the singular form of the verb, “jumps”.

Example 2

Many children run on the playground.

“Children” is the subject and it is plural (the word “many” helps us know that), so we have to use the plural form of the verb which is “run”.

You can’t say “the dog jump when he see me” or “many children runs on the playground” because then the subject and the verb are not in agreement about the number of subjects.

For most native English speakers, this comes pretty naturally so you’re feeling pretty good about these rules right now. However, there are a few tricky sentence structures that can trip up even the best of us if we’re not careful. Check these out.

Prepositional Phrases

As long as the subject and the verb are side-by-side, it’s pretty easy to keep track of SVA. However, when you’re writing more complex sentences, your subject and your verb might get separated. 

The floodlights in the yard suddenly turn on.

The subject is “floodlights”, but there are four words in between it and the verb (“turn”). Don’t get distracted by the prepositional phrase “in the yard”; it’s just telling you where the floodlights are located.

The boxes of brownie mix are sitting on the counter.

Brownies are delicious, but the subject we’re interested in is “boxes” (less delicious). Ignore “of brownie mix” and make sure that you’ve used the correct form of the verb “to be”, which is “are” in this case, to match your plural subject.

Conjunctions

Sometimes, you might have two subjects joined by a conjunction or a connecting word like “and”, “or”, or “nor”. When you see “and”, think about adding the subjects together. When you see “or” or “nor”, you can choose only one, and it has to be the one that is closer to the verb.

When I look outside, a racoon and her babies run across the yard away from the trash cans.

“Racoon and babies” is a plural subject because it is connected by the word “and”. Therefore, use “run” instead of “runs” for proper SVA.

My husband or some kitchen fairies have turned the box of brownies into a pan of brownies.

Here, “husband” and “fairies” are separated by the word “or”. In this case, we have to choose the kitchen fairies as the subject because it is closer to the verb. Bonus tip: The helping verb is the part that agrees with the subject, in this case, “have turned” instead of “has turned”.

Collective Nouns

When you talk about a group of people, you often use a singular verb. Words like “group”, “family”, “team”, and “congregation” are all singular subjects even though they refer to many people.

The team is packing the bus for the big game.

Of course, there are many people on the team, but because they are referred to as a singular entity (i.e., one team), a singular verb is used.

The congregation stands to sing at the end of the service.

The congregations come together to raise money for the food pantry.

Collective nouns can be made plural by adding an -s. 

Tricky Things

English is fun, so there are a few tricks that it likes to play.

1. Indefinite pronouns like either, neither, everyone, anyone, nobody, somebody, etc. are all singular.

Either of these sweaters is fine.

Although “sweaters” seems like it should be the subject, “either” swoops in to steal its thunder. The word “either” means that only one of those sweaters matters, and so the verb must be singular.

2. Some words that look plural take a singular verb.

I can’t believe how much negative news is out there.

“News” is not countable, so it takes a singular verb. Similarly, “civics”, “mathematics”, and “measles” also require singular verbs.

“Dollars” is tricky because it can be either singular or plural.

Twenty dollars is a lot of money when you’re ten years old. (Refers to the amount)

Dollars are used in the United States instead of pesos or pounds. (Refers to the physical dollars)

3. Phrases between commas that interrupt a subject and a verb such as “including”, “as well”, and “with” do not change the SVA of the sentence.

The author, as well as the editor, accepts the award at the ceremony.

Here, the author is the subject of the sentence, and so the verb agrees with the singular author. Although we’re being told that the editor also accepted an award, the phrasing basically makes it irrelevant and doesn’t affect the number in the subject.

How About You?

Do you notice that any of these rules trip you up? Do you have other words or phrases that always make you pause before you choose your verb form?

Dayna Betz is a full-time freelancer providing proofreading and editing services to help writers put their best foot forward. She also enjoys reading and writing book reviews. Head over to her site to learn more: https://betzliterary.com.

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Proofed and Polished

Short and Sweet: Avoiding Run-on Sentences

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Each author has their own unique voice. Likely, you’ve spent a lot of time developing the tone and style that makes your work stand out. When I proofread a paper, I do my best to retain the author’s original voice. I focus on grammar and punctuation, and when I encounter sentences that don’t sound right to my ear, I ask, “Is this a style choice or is this actually wrong?”

One of the trickiest corrections to make has to do with run-on sentences. I see them often. They pop up in all types of writing but especially when someone is trying to explain a process or a complex point of view. Run-on sentences aren’t defined by length alone; you can have a really long sentence that is easily readable. What makes a run-on sentence problematic is when two independent ideas get smooshed together.

Example:

Yesterday I went to the beach with my friends however I prefer to hike or camp.

There are two independent ideas here: narrating action and telling preferences. Read the example out loud. Where do you take a breath? There are ways to make the sentence easier to read.

Break Up with Run-ons

Here are a few ways to fix run-on sentences

1. Add punctuation.

Adding a semicolon or a comma can clear up the sentence easily.

Yesterday, I went to the beach with my friends, however, I prefer to hike or camp.

Yesterday, I went to the beach with my friends; however, I prefer to hike or camp.

2. Divide the ideas.

There are two totally independent bits of information here, so you can write them as two separate sentences.

Yesterday, I went to the beach with my friends.

I prefer to hike or camp.

3. Use conjunctions.

However is already used in this sentence as a conjunctive adverb to connect the two ideas, but you can choose a different conjunction.

Yesterday, I went to the beach with my friends, but I prefer to hike or camp.

Yesterday, I went to the beach with my friends, although I prefer to hike or camp.

Comma Caution

Just because you used a comma in your sentence doesn’t mean that you’re off the hook. Be careful with comma splices. A comma splice is when you join two independent ideas with only a comma. 

Example:

My dog barked like crazy, I knew the mail had arrived.

You have two choices here. You can write the sentences independently, or if you want to keep them linked, add a conjunction that makes sense. Since this is a “cause and effect” sentence, I would use “and” or “so”.

My dog barked like crazy, and I knew the mail had arrived.

My dog barked like crazy, so I knew the mail had arrived.

What About You?

Do you find yourself writing long sentences? Do you ever run into run-ons? Try these ideas:

  • Keep your sentences to about fifteen words. 
  • Count the number of lines per sentence.

When I corrected papers for my students, if I read three typed lines and hadn’t seen any punctuation, I stopped reading and scanned to find the closest period or comma. 

  • When you find your punctuation, go back and reread, preferably out loud. 
  • Check to see if you’ve combined any independent clauses that need to be separated by punctuation or conjunctions.
  • Remember, length alone isn’t necessarily a problem, though it can be.

Your goal is to make sure that the reader doesn’t lose your train of thought. Ask yourself if the readability would increase if you clipped the sentences.

Dayna Betz is a full-time freelancer providing proofreading and editing services to help writers put their best foot forward. She also enjoys reading and writing book reviews. Head over to her site to learn more: https://betzliterary.com.

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The Picky Pen

How to Edit Characters

As we continue this editing series how we can develop a great story, I hope you’re able to see that the elements of storytelling hinges on more than concept and characters. By having all the layers in place before actually writing, you can have a clearer idea of where your story is going. Or if you’ve already written your book, how to make sure all the layers are in place so that you give your readers a delightful reading experience.

The sixth layer in developing a great story is developing your character within your story, whether nonfiction or fiction.

Your character is your readers’ best friend. Your character makes or breaks the story. Your character helps readers grow. Your character has influence on all other characters in the story. Your character must create empathy in your readers.

How to Edit Your Characters

  • What does your character want most?
  • What are winsome/lose-some qualities about your character?
  • How is your character motivated?

What does your character want most?

As you know, in storytelling, it’s really what drives the main character. What do they want? And the best way to show that is to show the character interacting with themselves, other characters, and the events of the story.

As I’ve said before, the greater the need, the bigger the story. So if your character wants to fly around the world, not in eighty days, but in ten, how on earth is this possible, and why do they want to do something so impossible? If your character wants to fulfil a promise to a dying loved one, then what is the internal satisfaction they’ll gain from it? Don’t just have your character want to go out on a date for the first time in twenty years; give your character a reason for wanting to do so, and maybe the motivation for waiting so long.

We must ask ourselves the following potential questions (not exhaustive, by any means):

  • Does what your character wants stem from their past experiences, even before the book opens up?
  • Does what they want stem from something that just happened within the story itself? For example, they want changes. (For this to work, you’d have to have a really good reason, and you’d have to set up the story really well.)
  • Does what your character want leap off the first page, or within the first five pages?
  • Why does your character want what he/she wants?
  • Is your character’s desire from someone else’s expectation or from their own?
  • What would your character do if he/she didn’t get what they wanted?
  • What would he/she do if they got what they wanted?

What are winsome/lose-some qualities about your character?

I say winsome or lose some because if we had a character that was Goody Two-shoes all the time, I think we’d be throwing the book at the wall.

It’s better to have a character with a deep struggle that they grapple with throughout the book, and come to accept by the end. Maybe that deep struggle becomes their saving grace. If your character’s winsome qualities can somehow compliment their lose some qualities, that is even better, because it’s the constructive qualities that present the greatest challenges and victories.

These qualities can be internal, external, philosophical, esoteric, or however you choose them to be. And the more you mix them up or the quirkier they are, the stronger your character will be.

How is your character motivated?

Propelling the character forward through the plot is tough. Not gonna lie. It’s that delicate balance between stop, listen to the birdsong, and go, race through the sun-splashed woods.

In making the most of your character throughout the story, it’s important to understand why he/she is doing what they’re doing. It’s important to dive deep into the outer and inner motivations. If they want to make a trip cross country but are delayed by a snowstorm, do they drive forward anyway? What if your character doesn’t get what they want in the first place … do they flip the coin to see what their next option is, or do they sit and stew for days and days, until someone helps them snap out of it?

Whatever your character’s motivation, readers should be on pins and needles on your character’s behalf—because you have created a winsome character that tends to lose some sometimes. It’s all part of the character journey.

Secret Sauce to the Best Character Development. Ever.

“You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge yourself one.”

Henry David Thoreau

“We become the books we read.”

Matthew Kelly

The books we read. The characters we create. Both of these speak to the integrity and endurance of the fictional characters we create, or the real-life characters we write about in our nonfiction.

Each writer and author benefits from exploring their characters inside and out, while asking “why?” at every turn when crafting their character’s reactions and responses throughout the story because it’s really the secret sauce to writing a great story that captivates agents, editors, readers, marketers, and the person who wouldn’t necessarily pick up a book and read it.

Questions? Comments? I’d love to engage in the conversation with you! Drop your question or comment in the chat below, and I’ll look forward to responding!

Your Turn!

What is the best quality or trait about your character, and why?

What is your favorite character in a book or movie, and what makes you like or dislike them?

Tisha Martin writes historical fiction and articles, and edits full time for beginning and best-selling writers and publishing houses. Since 2017 she has edited and evaluated 250 books, and written a plethora of back-cover and marketing book copy. She has a bachelor’s in Professional Writing, a master’s in English Education, and an editing certificate from the PEN Institute. Her nonfiction contribution “The Meaning of an Heirloom” for The Horse of My Dreams: True Stories of the Horses We Love is available from Revell. Learn more at www.tishamartin.com.

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Proofed and Polished

Who Are We Talking About? Using Pronouns and Antecedents

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Keeping Your Sentences Clear

Example #1

“They had such a great time at the amusement park. First, my aunt and cousins went on the merry go round, then my uncle took them on the big roller coaster. Finally, they went on the teacups right before they closed for the night, and they took them home to bed.”

Have you ever started a sentence this way? Especially now that we’re home so much more, we may assume that everyone in our shrunken social circles knows exactly who we’re talking about when we start a story. In the sentence above, the first “they” is merely confusing if you’re just joining the conversation; the reference to “my aunt and cousins” in the next sentence seemingly clears that up. However, as the story goes on, the constant references to “they” and “them” start to get confusing. By the end, you’re asking yourself, “Wait, who went on the teacups? And who took who home after “they” closed?”

Pronouns and Antecedents

Pronouns are lovely things, and there are so many types! You have personal pronouns, direct and indirect pronouns, possessive pronouns, demonstrative pronouns… Pronouns prevent us from saying awkward things like:

Example #2

“Danny went to the store in Danny’s car to buy food to fill Danny’s refrigerator.”

Instead, they allow us to say:

“Danny went to the store in his car to buy food to fill his refrigerator.”

In this sentence, we understand that “his” is referring to Danny. 

One challenge I notice as a proofreader is that some people get a little “pronoun happy.” As you saw in the example at the beginning of the article, overuse of pronouns can cause the reader to lose the meaning of the story.

An antecedent (prefix “ante-” meaning “before) comes before the pronoun you use to clear up the meaning. “Danny” is the antecedent for “his car” and “his refrigerator.” 

What we need in the first example are some antecedents—and in some cases, to just use nouns—to help us know who all the “they” pronouns are referring to.

Let’s make some corrections:

Original Example #1:

“They had such a great time at the amusement park. First, my aunt and cousins went on the merry go round, then my uncle took them on the big roller coaster. Finally, they went on the teacups right before they closed for the night, and they took them home to bed.”

Improved Example #1:

“My aunt, uncle, and cousins had such a great time at the amusement park. First, my aunt and cousins went on the merry go round, then my uncle took my cousins on the big roller coaster. Finally, the whole family went on the teacups right before the park closed for the night, and my aunt and uncle took my cousins home to bed.”

You’ll notice that in the improved example, there are far fewer pronouns. In order to accurately convey what happened, you need to use more antecedents or leave out the pronouns. 

Example #3

“The girls went to the mall in the car to return it. They had missed the return window, so they only got $5.25 for it. They were disappointed.”

At first read, you may think, “I imagine they were disappointed if they only got $5.25 for returning a car!” Logically, you know that something is missing. Here, “it” needs an antecedent to make sense. 

Instead:

“The girls went to the mall in the car to return the sweater. They had missed the return window, so they only got $5.25 for it. They were disappointed.”

We all feel better for these girls!!

Finally:

Example #4:

“Roxanne is a real go-getter. She is always at work early. Sarah usually comes in to work a little late, but she really understands the data systems the best. They are both essential to the office, so it will be difficult to tell her that she’s the one we’ve chosen to let go.”

In this final example, everything makes sense until the very end where you have to be in the know to understand whether Roxanne or Sarah is the one being let go. To clear up confusion for anyone just entering the room, you would say:

“Roxanne is a real go-getter. She is always at work early. Sarah usually comes in to work a little late, but she really understands the data systems the best. They are both essential to the office, so it will be difficult to tell Roxanne that she’s the one we’ve chosen to let go.”

What about you?

Have you ever been deep into writing the next chapter of your book, knowing perfectly well which character you’re talking about, but realize you haven’t actually used that character’s name in eight pages? When you proofread, keep a sharp eye out for your pronouns, and make sure that there is a clear antecedent so that your readers don’t get confused!

Dayna Betz is a full-time freelancer providing proofreading and editing services to help writers put their best foot forward. She also enjoys reading and writing book reviews. Head over to her site to learn more: https://betzliterary.com.

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Cat Got Your Tongue? Tricky Idiomatic Expressions That Get Us Bent Out of Shape

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Let’s Cut Ourselves Some Slack 

Adding a little flair to your writing with idioms can be confusing, but hang in there! The purpose of using idioms is to give some artistic expression to your writing. For example, if you’re writing a mystery novel where the heroine is searching for clues and pursues the wrong lead, you could say something like this:

“Maggie had been following Mr. X all day long, sure that her suspicions about his behavior were correct. But when it turned out that she was following him to a soup kitchen, she realized that she had been mistaken the entire time and was looking for solutions in all the wrong places.”

You’ve conveyed to your reader that Maggie made a mistake, but you could really hit the nail on the head if you used a few idioms to spice up your writing:

“Maggie had been following Mr. X all day long, sure that her suspicions about his behavior were correct. But when it turned out that she was following him to a soup kitchen, she realized that she had been barking up the wrong tree.”

So far so good? It’s not rocket science to think of all sorts of other expressions now that I’ve gotten you started. The thing about idioms, though, is that there are some common ones that people misuse regularly.

Ignorance Is Bliss

Some of these corrected idiomatic expressions may throw you for a loop; the misused phrase is so common, you may not know that it’s wrong! If you can wrap your head around these corrections, you’ll be well on your way to making your writing really pop.

1. I could care less vs. I couldn’t care less

This is number one for a reason. Read this example carefully.

Dorothy smiled wickedly at Sandra. “And you thought that I would actually invite you to the party after that?” Sandra shrugged, hoping to appear casual. “I could care less if I’m invited or not. It was completely worth it.”

If Sandra CAN care less, then she currently cares at least a little bit. When we use this expression, we generally mean that we don’t care at all now and nothing will change the situation to make us care less than we already do. Therefore, the correct expression is “I couldn’t care less.”

2. For all intensive purposes vs. for all intents and purposes

Here’s another tricky one. 

Michael, for all intensive purposes, was now the sole decision maker for the company.

Intensive means “to strengthen or increase.” While your purposes may be strong, the correct expression, “for all intents and purposes,” means “essentially.” So in the previous example, we’re saying that Michael is essentially the sole decision maker.

3. Nip it in the butt vs. nip it in the bud

“This situation needs to be nipped in the butt before it goes any further,” whispered Mrs. Carlton to Mrs. Sheldon as they walked into the ladies’ luncheon where they would vote on the highly contentious issue of where to hold the annual fundraiser.

Since situations don’t have butts, it’s difficult to nip them there. What you mean when you use this expression is that you want to stop something from progressing that is currently headed in the wrong direction. The expression is “to nip it in the BUD.” Think of an invasive flower or plant that is growing in your garden. By nipping the bud, you prevent it from growing to maturity and spreading more seeds around your yard.

4. It’s a mute point vs. it’s a moot point

“…and that’s why we need to seriously reconsider the way that this institution finances our programs,” Stacey concluded, barely containing her anger in the conference room. She could tell that she had made enemies from the glowering looks she was getting around the table. Naturally, Allegra, her arch-enemy, jumped in. “Honestly, Stacey, it’s a mute point since the donors have already indicated how they want their contributions to be spent…”

At least Stacey can find conciliation in the fact that Allegra doesn’t know how to use the expression “a moot point.” If something is “moot,” it has been “deprived of practical significance” and no longer has merit in the conversation at hand.

5. Irregardless vs. regardless

I’m throwing you a curveball for this last one, because if you look up “irregardless” in Merriam-Webster, it is a word. The definition of “irregardless” is “regardless.” Many consider “irregardless” to be redundant, since the prefix ir- negates something, as does the suffix -less. In most cases, “regardless” is considered to be the standard term that is likely to be approved by your editor, while “irregardless” is a more colloquial term that you’ll hear in everyday conversation.

To Make a Long Story Short…

Idioms are a dime a dozen but using them can really get out of hand if you don’t know how to deploy them correctly. I don’t want to beat a dead horse, so jump on the bandwagon and tell us what your favorite idiomatic expressions are!

Dayna Betz is a full-time freelancer providing proofreading and editing services to help writers put their best foot forward. She also enjoys reading and writing book reviews. Head over to her site to learn more: https://betzliterary.com.

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Common Mistakes I See When Proofreading: Vocabulary, Part 2

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To Hyphenate or Not to Hyphenate…

How do you feel about hyphens? Do you use them a lot? Never? Do you sort of close your eyes and randomly stick them in between a couple of words because you think maybe once you saw it written that way?

Hyphens are confusing for many people when they write, because we don’t really understand the rules for using them. Here are a few sets of words with and without hyphens. Can you spot the differences?

  • Resign vs. re-sign
  • Extracurricular vs. extra-curricular
  • Low grade vs. low-grade

…Or, How to Avoid Miscommunicating Your Meaning

Resign vs. Re-sign.

  • “Resign” means to give up a position. I resigned from my teaching job because of COVID.
  • “Re-sign” means to sign again. I had to re-sign the documents because the agent lost the originals.

You can see how a missing hyphen could really mess up the meaning of your sentence.

All of the ballots had to be resigned because they were rained on and the ink ran.

Wait, the ballots were resigned? Does that mean that they were thrown out? What about my vote?!

Oh, you mean they need to be re-signed, as in signed again. Phew! A much easier solution.

Extracurricular vs. extra-curricular

With extracurricular vs. extra-curricular, the hyphen is just unnecessary. The prefix “extra” can be added to words without using a hyphen. In fact, the majority of prefixes and suffixes don’t require the use of a hyphen. Here’s a list.

Low grade vs. low-grade

Let’s look at that last example in a sentence.

  1. The baby had a low grade fever, so his mom decided to keep him home from day care.
  2. The baby had a low-grade fever, so his mom decided to keep him home from day care.

While this may not seem that confusing because people often know what you mean when you say a “low-grade” fever, the hyphen here is necessary, because you are describing the fever, not the grade. Without the hyphen, it seems like you’re describing the grade and saying that that is what is low; what you mean is that the fever grade is low.

Hyphen Rules

1. Use a hyphen to join two words that are meant to function as a single adjective before a noun (like with “low-grade fever”).

Ex. He gave me chocolate-covered peanuts for Valentine’s Day.

(* The adjective “chocolate-covered” describes the peanuts.)

1a. Unless, however, your adjective comes after the noun in your sentence. Then you don’t need a hyphen.

Ex. The peanuts were chocolate covered so I didn’t know what they were. Unfortunately, I’m allergic to peanuts.

(* Because “chocolate covered” comes after the noun it describes, the hyphen isn’t needed.) 

1b. Don’t use hyphens with “very” or with adverbs that end in “-ly.”

Incorrect: I prefer a very-hot soup when it’s cold outside.

Incorrect: His extremely-strict policies caused the students to dislike him.

2. Don’t use hyphens with prefixes or suffixes.

2a. Except with these prefixes: “ex-“, “self-“, and “all-“.

Ex. The rookie was very self-conscious about her performance on her first day. 

2b. And with the suffix “-elect.”

Ex. The mayor-elect celebrated a victory over their rival. 

2c. And always with a prefix + a capitalized word, or a prefix + digits/letters.

Ex. We would like school to start in mid-September, but it often begins before Labor Day.

Ex. In the mid-1960s, the hippie style was popular with many young people, which included tie-dye t-shirts.

3. Use hyphens when you spell out numbers.

Ex. Our two-year-old child is really into dinosaurs.

(*But no hyphen in: Our child is two years old.) 

Ex. After forty-seven years, we finally discovered the treasure our grandparents promised was hidden in the house.

4. Use hyphens to resolve potential confusion in a sentence.

Ex. He had a concealed weapons permit. vs. He had a concealed-weapons permit.

(Was the weapons permit concealed or did he have a permit for a concealed weapon? Neither is wrong, but this is where hyphens help to clarify your meaning.)

5. Don’t guess with hyphen use! Look it up in your favorite dictionary or in a style guide, such as The Chicago Manual of Style.

How About You?

Do you struggle with hyphens? Is there a word that you always hyphenate (or never hyphenate), and now you’re confused? I used to hyphenate “e-mail” all the time, but apparently “email” is more common. Although Merriam-Webster recognizes both, they put the hyphen in as the default. Hmmm. Hyphens are tricky!

Dayna Betz is a full-time freelancer providing proofreading and editing services to help writers put their best foot forward. She also enjoys reading and writing book reviews. Head over to her site to learn more: https://betzliterary.com.

Categories
Proofed and Polished

Common Mistakes I See When Proofreading: Vocabulary, Part 1

Proofed and Polished

Vocabulary Mistakes

I’ve been proofreading a pretty wide variety of material lately—master’s dissertations, personal letters to family, freshman film class essays, presentation notes and slides, white papers for businesses, formal proposals, and book manuscripts. These arrive in my inbox at varying degrees of “finished.” You can usually tell when someone has already taken the time to proofread their document before they share it with me for my final proofread. That doesn’t mean it’s perfect, though!

Even in “proofed and polished” documents, I will usually find errors in simple vocabulary. Sometimes, it’s pretty obvious that auto-correct got the best of someone since it says “bacon” instead of “become” in the middle of a sentence about their goals for after graduate school. Another common one is typos, which might mean that there’s an extra space or extra letter or a preposition was skipped. The most common mistakes, however, are homophones.

Frequent Fliers

Do you remember what a homophone is? Homophones are words that have the same (or almost the same) pronunciation, but have different meanings and different spellings. A fairly common one that you’re probably familiar with is there vs. their vs. they’re. It kind of looks bad if you mess that up, but how do you avoid it? Maybe you’ve seen this graphic that helps you remember which one to use:

Or, if you have this one nailed down, here’s a list of ten other common errors that I’ve come across.

Homophones and Other Common Errors

Here are a few common homophones, and a couple other types of errors, that I see misused quite often. Do any of these trip you up?

  1. Accept vs. except
  • Accept: I accept the roses that the stranger hands me.
  • Except: He is smiling, except something doesn’t seem to be quite right.
  1. Affect vs. effect
  • Affect (produce an emotional response) 
    • The wacky Mole Day outfit affects the way that I see my teacher.
  • Effect (cause and effect) 
    • The teacher’s wacky Mole Day outfit had the effect of distracting the entire class.
  1. Allude vs. elude
  • Allude: I alluded to the fact that I knew his secret.
  • Elude: I ran behind the building to elude my pursuers.
  1. Everyday vs. every day
  • Everyday (adjective): Putting away my child’s shoes is an everyday activity.
  • Every day: Every day at 3:00 pm, I sit down to have a cup of tea.
  1. Illicit vs. elicit
  • Illicit: The journalist wrote a story about the illicit mafia activity in her town.
  • Elicit: She asked questions of dangerous people, hoping to elicit exciting details in order to write a front-page story.
  1. Than vs. then
  • Than (comparison): This piece of pie is larger than the other.
  • Then (sequence): I ate the pie, then I had to confess that I had finished the whole thing.
  1. A lot vs. alot
  • A lot: Using “alot” in a sentence is always incorrect, yet people do it a lot.

*”Alot” as a single word is not a word.

  1. Canceled vs. cancelled
  • Canceled: “I canceled my flight to London due to COVID,” said the businessman from New York.
  • Cancelled: “I cancelled my flight to New York due to COVID,” said the businesswoman from London.

*The double -l is the UK-approved spelling.

  1. Into vs. in to
  • Into (movement/direction) 
    • I will get into trouble if I don’t tell the truth.
  • In to (position) 
    • I put the kitten in the basket to hide it.
  1. Onto vs. on to
  • Onto (preposition) 
    • She got onto the bus at the last second.
  • On to (adverb + preposition) 
    • She needs to get on to the next phase of her project.

Keep these tips in mind the next time you’re preparing your own manuscript to send off to your editor.

What do you think?

What are some other tricky vocabulary pairs that trip you up? How do you keep them straight?

Dayna Betz is a full-time freelancer providing proofreading and editing services to help writers put their best foot forward. She also enjoys reading and writing book reviews. Head over to her site to learn more: https://betzliterary.com.

Categories
Proofed and Polished

Proofed and Polished: Tips on self-proofing for a flawless product

Proofed and Polished

A Scenario…

Finally! You sit back in your chair and breathe a sigh of relief. The project is done, and before the deadline! A small miracle in and of itself. You would love nothing more than to hit “Submit,” treat yourself to ice cream or a walk, and bask in the glow of accomplishment. But you know, you know, that if you don’t look it over at least one more time, that whatever errors are lurking in your nearly memorized manuscript will become glaringly obvious the second you hit “Send.” The errors will contaminate your ice cream with regret and your subconscious will taunt you while you’re trying to sleep.

So you take another deep breath, and you scroll to the beginning. 

Just one more read-through. 

I can do this.

Ok, this isn’t so bad. 

Is a comma supposed to be there? 

Wait, is it toward or towards?

Aaand fifteen minutes later, you’ve reread your first sentence twenty-five times and all words have lost their meaning. That, or you’re on page twenty-five and have found zero errors, which either means you’re a complete genius, or you’re not actually reading the words at all. HELP!

Introducing Proofed and Polished

It’s cool, we’ve all been there.  But still, we all need to send a proofed and polished manuscript so that the errors aren’t distracting the readers from the awesomeness of our storytelling. I have ideas to share!

Proofed and Polished will share some tips and tricks to help you send out a glitch-free product that you can be proud of. I’ll look at the nitty-gritty of proofreading: common vocabulary errors; some grammar pointers; goofy idiomatic expressions; and some practical tips to help you get the proofreading done without your eyes glazing over or second-guessing yourself.

Sound good? Let’s get started now! 

3 Tips for Proofreading When You Just Don’t Want To

Remember that scenario in the beginning? It can be avoided. I know you just want to turn it in, but instead, try this:

  1. Walk Away

Seriously. You wrote it, so you know what it’s supposed to say. Your eyes will play tricks on you. Of course you know that it’s its, not its’, or it’s…isn’t it? Is its’ even a thing?? Just walk away. Get your ice cream or go on a walk – you still worked hard – maybe even sleep on it. Only sit down to proofread once you have fresh eyes.

  1. One Thing at a Time

Welcome back! Fresh from your break, what to do first? Spelling? Punctuation? Grammar? Formatting? Pick just one. You can:

  • Go paragraph by paragraph and look only at your spelling (I know you ran spell check, but you still need to do this step – more on that in a future post). 
  • Go one page at a time and look for different types of errors; then, take a break between each page. 
  • What are your weaknesses? Punctuation? Check that first. 

If you’re proofing a big project, be willing to give it time! Otherwise, you’ll miss things or make new errors in the name of changing something.

  1. Start at the End

Huh? Try it. Read the last paragraph first, checking for errors as you go. Then the next-to-the-last paragraph, then the one before that…Kinda weird reading your creation backwards? Good! You can stop getting distracted by the flow of the story, and get focused on the technical side of things.

*P.S. I used this strategy for this article.

Got it? Now…

Try these ideas and share your results or your own proofreading tricks! You’ll be proofed and polished and ready to publish before you know it!

Dayna Betz is a full-time freelancer providing proofreading and editing services to help writers put their best foot forward. She also enjoys reading and writing book reviews. Head over to her site to learn more: https://betzliterary.com.

Categories
The Picky Pen

How to Edit Setting

As we continue this editing series how we can develop a great story, I hope you’re able to see that the elements of storytelling hinges on more than concept and characters. By having all the layers in place before actually writing, you can have a clearer idea of where your story is going. Or if you’ve already written your book, how to make sure all the layers are in place so that you give your readers a delightful reading experience.

The fifth layer in developing a great story is developing the setting within your story, whether nonfiction or fiction.

The settings within your story link the moods and viewpoints of your characters and plot together like a colorful construction paper chain link that can be as short or as long as you want them to be.

How to Edit the Setting

  • What does the setting say about your character?
  • What is the most important dominant impression in this scene?
  • How does the setting enhance your story’s plot?

What does the setting say about your character?

As you know, in storytelling, it’s really all about what’s at stake for the main character. And the best way to show that is to show the character interacting with the scene. We’re not going to talk about the character right now, but more how the elements in the scene help the character.

A well-written setting will describe your character’s mood without telling readers your character’s mood. A well-written setting will affect your character’s mood without telling your readers. A well-written setting will also enhance the scene and the actions and reactions of the other characters interaction with each other. Or the overall effect and observation of the landscape.

We must ask ourselves the following potential questions (not exhaustive, by any means):

  • Does the setting describe the visual space, or does the setting describe the character’s motivations and actions, pulling the reader into the story?
  • Does the setting open with intrigue and action, or does it open slow and monotone?
  • What is the end result of the setting?
  • What does this setting tie back to?
  • What is the driving emotion and motivation for the character?
  • Are any of the five senses represented here, and how to incorporate them?
  • What setting details would enhance the character actions?
  • What is the takeaway or suspense for your readers?

If it seems that every aspect of storytelling is comprised of asking lots of questions, you’re right. It is. As writers, we must don our analytical hats and comb every journalist-style question as we map out the story basics. For in asking those deeper questions, we will be able to craft a compelling scene that dazzles and engages readers.

Here’s a piece of my draft scene for the story I’m writing:

Footsteps echoed on the hardwood floor. The door swung open, and Dad retreated to his desk. A bulky L. C. Smith and Corona sat on the desk. Sunlight pushed through a filmy window from behind and glared across the desktop.

Footsteps echoed on the hardwood floor. The door swung open, and Dad retreated to his desk. A bulky L. C. Smith and Corona sat on the desk. Sunlight pushed through a filmy window from behind and glared across the desktop.

“What are you doing?” She settled on the wingback chair catty-corner the desk.

Dad pulled a clean sheet through the feeder. “Taking care of business.”

She scanned the desk for bills or business letters but only found heavily edited typed sheets of paper. “Oh. What kind of business?”

The return key dinged, and his fingers arched above the keys. “Not quite finished with it yet.”

She sighed, resigned to live in her father’s abrupt world, but wishing she didn’t have to be affected by it.

He hit a few keys and squinted at what he’d typed. “Oh, Paul and Kate said they’d help you get registered for school.”

He didn’t want to help her register for school? Fighting tears, she slammed her hands into her lap where he couldn’t see them. “You’re okay with that?”

“Why not?” A steady slap of keys followed.

Two crumpled sheets rested against a bookshelf across from her and the desk. Rejects. Why did she feel like joining them? She cleared her throat. “I don’t know, but maybe I’m not ready to walk all around school.”

“Rie, Paul says you’re doing well. Susan too.” He looked up, smiling. “That’s good enough for me.”

She rubbed the chair’s fraying arm. If this was his way of approving, then she’d take it, but she didn’t have to like it. “I’m glad you think so. I’m going to sit on Cherish today.”

He thumbed through half of the stack and set a portion aside. “Honey, I need to keep working. Do you mind if we talk later?” He picked up his pen and circled some words on a sheet from the middle of the stack.

Staring at the pile, she made out the word draft across the top of one page. What was he writing, and why was it more important than her? He’d hardly talked with her since she’d come back from the hospital. She grabbed her crutches and locked her knees.

Why did she think he would ever change now?

Like it? It’s not perfect, and will change, but it’s a start. Can you picture the setting as if you were right there? Do you notice words that invoke reactions like impatience, dismissiveness, striving, sad patience? Do you feel the rush of disappointment as Rie tries to talk with her father? Do you feel the anticipation, the hope, then the dejection settling in the pit of your stomach?

Think about your own story, and what your character wants. Got it? Now what kind of things would need to be in your setting that would set up the mood that describes your character’s feelings without saying what your character is feeling?

“She felt tired.” No! Rather, “The chair sagged in the corner, and she sank into it” shows you the character is tired. Exhausted. Beat. Done in.

What is the most important dominant impression in this scene?

The dominant impression is what stands out most in the setting that gives credence to the character’s mood and the scene’s mood.

In my draft scene example, the dominant impression was two things: the typewriter and scattered paper, and I used words and descriptions and motivations that described the office and the father’s actions, while bringing focus to what my character was feeling—and what she wanted. These dominant impressions also describe the mood of everything and everyone else in the room, and how the main character is affected.

In short, the dominant impression centers around the setting and helps bring focus and emotion to the scene and whatever happens in it. And often, the dominant impression affects your character’s emotions greatly.

How does the setting propel the plot forward?

Propelling the plot forward is tough. Not gonna lie. It’s that delicate balance between stop, listen to the birdsong, and go, race through the sun-splashed woods.

In making the scene move forward, whether slower paced or break-neck speed, it’s crucial to set certain actions, thoughts, motivations, descriptions in such a way that the setting builds to a crescendo. If you’ve ever listened to Handle’s Messiah, you know the rush of emotion you get when that last stanza is played. And you know the feelings that overwhelm you. Same for your writing because readers will be able to experience all those emotions with your characters at those levels, and then when you raise the stakes, then that emotion only grows.

For example, in my scene, the various propellers are in different places throughout that scene:

#1 “Why not?” A steady slap of keys followed.

#2 She rubbed the chair’s fraying arm. If this was his way of approving, then she’d take it, but she didn’t have to like it. “I’m glad you think so. I’m going to sit on Cherish today.”

He thumbed through half of the stack and set a portion aside. “Honey, I need to keep working. Do you mind if we talk later?”

As if Laurie’s been jerked out of that office, right?

Secret Sauce to the Best Setting. Ever.

“Places are never just places in a piece of writing. If they are, the author has failed. Setting is not inert. It is activated by point of view.”

Carmen Maria Machado, In the Dream House

And let that be true of your manuscript, however you choose to set up the setting in your story, whether you choose to ease in, ramp up, create waves, let it ebb and flow, or go off the deep end. No. No. Don’t do that. But do make your readers anticipate every moment of every element of each and every setting.

Each writer and author benefits from exploring their characters and setting inside and out, while asking “what if?” at every turn when crafting their novel’s plot because it’s really the secret sauce to writing a great story that captivates people, agents, editors, readers, marketers, and the person who wouldn’t necessarily pick up a book and read it.

Questions? Comments? I’d love to engage in the conversation with you! Drop your question or comment in the chat below, and I’ll look forward to responding!

Your Turn!

  • What is the dominant impression in your setting?
  • Which of the five senses will you use in your scene, and how?
  • How is your character viewing the scene by the setting, or how are they feeling / reacting?

Tisha Martin writes historical fiction and nonfiction but edits full time for beginning and best-selling writers and publishing houses. Since 2017 she has worked on over 250 books, including Planned from the Start, the devotional companion to Unplanned the movie, and serves as contest judge for Writer’s Digest. She puts her bachelors in Professional Writing, masters in English Education, and editing certificate from the PEN Institute to delightful good use. Her nonfiction essay “The Meaning of an Heirloom” in The Horse of My Dreams: True Stories of the Horses We Love is available from Revell. She enjoys speaking at writer’s conferences and coaching writers in the self-editing process. Learn more at www.tishamartin.com.   

Categories
The Picky Pen

How to Edit Scenes

As we continue this editing series how we can develop a great story, I hope you’re able to see that the elements of storytelling hinges on more than concept and characters. By having all the layers in place before actually writing, you can have a clearer idea of where your story is going. Or if you’ve already written your book, how to make sure all the layers are in place so that you give your readers a delightful reading experience.

The fourth layer in developing a great story is developing the scenes within your story, whether nonfiction or fiction.

The scenes within your story link the characters and plot together like a colorful construction paper chain link that can be as short or as long as you want them to be.

How to Edit the Scene

  • What does the character want or how does the character react in this scene?
  • What is the most important dominant impression in this scene?
  • How does the scene propel the plot forward?

What does the character want or how does the character react in this scene?

As you know, in storytelling, it’s really all about what’s at stake for the main character. And the best way to show that is to show the character interacting with the scene. We’re not going to talk about the character right now, but more how the elements in the scene help the character.

In my current story about a woman who retrains retired cavalry horses, she encounters an accident where one of the horses has gotten tangled up in barbed wire fencing. The horse has been there quite a while, has thrashed around, and is lying with its neck stretched out, as if struggling for the very breath of life.

Now, what kind of elements would this scene need to include for it to grip readers by the throat and pull them through this rescue?

We must ask ourselves the following potential questions (not exhaustive, by any means):

  • What is the end of this scene?
  • What does this scene tie back to?
  • Does the scene open closer to the middle of the scene, rather than setting up the scene and easing the reader into it?
  • What is the driving emotion and motivation for the character?
  • Are any of the five senses represented here, and how to incorporate them?
  • What character actions would enhance this scene?
  • What is the takeaway for your readers?

If it seems that every aspect of storytelling is comprised of asking lots of questions, you’re right. It is. As writers, we must don our analytical hats and comb every journalist-style question as we map out the story basics. For in asking those deeper questions, we will be able to craft a compelling scene that dazzles and engages readers.

Here’s a piece of my draft scene for the story I’m writing:

The tips of Laurie’s shoes caught under some overlain bumps of grass, and she landed facedown near a pile of manure. She pushed herself up and limped toward the mare’s cry.

Ebony writhed, struggling, next to the fence.

Laurie dropped to the ground. “Easy, girl,” she soothed in her calmest voice—or what she hoped sounded calm. “Let’s see what’s wrong.”

Barbed wire had wrapped several times around the mare’s right foreleg. The wire carved gashes in her leg; skin and blood mingled together.

“Oh, my girl, how did you get into this fix?” She found out where the wire started and began to unwrap it.

The mare kicked and struggled to rise, causing the barbs to sink into Laurie’s fingers.

Laurie winced, tears springing to her eyes. “Listen, Eb.” She stroked the mare’s sweaty neck. “You’ve got to stay still until I get this wire untangled. Just take it easy, girl. Relax.” She took a deep breath as the mare squinched her eyes in pain. “It’s okay,” she soothed, working the fencing wire around and around.

Ebony apparently sensed Laurie’s racing emotions and fought to get up. The wire dug deeper into her skin as well as scraping Laurie’s fingers again. As the mare’s sweat dripped onto her bloody cuts, her fingers burned. She blew short breaths, hoping the action would distract her from the pain.

“Ebony, easy, easy,” she commanded in a shaky voice. “Hold on.” She worked furiously despite the fire sensation in her fingers. “I almost got it.”

Ebony settled down, even if the constant twitching in her shoulder did not.

Like it? It’s not perfect, and will change, but it’s a start. Can you picture the scene as if you were right there? Do you notice words that invoke emotions such as fear, intensity, pain, anguish? Do you feel the rush and the patience that Laurie does as she works to free the horse? Do you feel the blood, smell the sweat, hear the rushing of your heart in your ears?

Think about your own story, and what your character wants. Got it? Now what kind of things would need to be in your scene for the character to act upon or react to what they want, or what is happening within the scene?

What is the most important dominant impression in this scene?

The dominant impression is what stands out most in the scene. The dominant impression is the wrinkles in grandpa’s face as he smiles at his grandchildren while he’s remembering the bittersweet moments with his own childhood. The dominant impression is the dank cellar filled with root vegetables during the Depression. The dominant impression is the quirky flying car in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

In my draft scene example, the dominant impression was the horse, and I used words and descriptions and motivations that described the animal, while bringing focus to what my character was feeling—and what she wanted.

In short, the dominant impression centers around the scene and helps bring focus and emotion to the scene and whatever happens in it.

How does the scene propel the plot forward?

Propelling the plot forward is tough. Not gonna lie. It’s that delicate balance between stop, listen to the birdsong, and go, race through the sun-splashed woods.

In making the scene move forward, whether slower paced or break-neck speed, it’s crucial to set certain actions, thoughts, motivations, descriptions in such a way that the scene builds to a crescendo. If you’ve ever listened to Handle’s Messiah, you know the rush of emotion you get when that last stanza is played. Same for your writing because readers will be able to experience all those emotions with your characters at those levels, and then when you raise the stakes, then that emotion only grows.

For example, in my scene, the highest propeller is toward the end of that scene:

Ebony apparently sensed Laurie’s racing emotions and fought to get up. The wire dug deeper into her skin as well as scraping Laurie’s fingers again. As the mare’s sweat dripped onto her bloody cuts, her fingers burned. She blew short breaths, hoping the action would distract her from the pain.

“Ebony, easy, easy,” she commanded in a shaky voice. “Hold on.” She worked furiously despite the fire sensation in her fingers. “I almost got it.”

As if Laurie’s fingers are going to get pinched off, right?

Secret Sauce to the Best Scene. Ever.

Classic film director Alfred Hitchcock said,

“There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it.”

And let that be true of your manuscript, however you choose to set up your scenes in your story, whether you choose to ease in, ramp up, create waves, let it ebb and flow, or go off the deep end. No. No. Don’t do that. But do make your readers anticipate every moment of every line if every scene.

Each writer and author benefits from exploring their characters inside and out, while asking “what if?” at every turn when crafting their novel’s scene because it’s really the secret sauce to writing a great story that captivates people, agents, editors, readers, marketers, and the person who wouldn’t necessarily pick up a book and read it.

Questions? Comments? I’d love to engage in the conversation with you! Drop your question or comment in the chat below, and I’ll look forward to responding!

Your Turn!

What is the dominant impression in your scene?

Which of the five senses will you use in your scene, and how?

Tisha Martin writes historical fiction and nonfiction but edits full time for beginning and best-selling writers and publishing houses. Since 2017 she has worked on over 250 books, including Planned from the Start, the devotional companion to Unplanned the movie, and serves as contest judge for Writer’s Digest. She puts her bachelors in Professional Writing, masters in English Education, and editing certificate from the PEN Institute to delightful good use. Her nonfiction essay “The Meaning of an Heirloom” in The Horse of My Dreams: True Stories of the Horses We Love is available from Revell. She enjoys speaking at writer’s conferences and coaching writers in the self-editing process. Learn more at www.tishamartin.com.   

Categories
The Picky Pen

How to Edit Point of View

As we continue this editing series how we can develop a great story, I hope you’re able to see that the elements of storytelling hinges on more than concept and characters. By having all the layers in place before actually writing, you can have a clearer idea of where your story is going. Or if you’ve already written your book, how to make sure all the layers are in place so that you give your readers a delightful reading experience.

The third layer in developing a great story is developing your story’s point of view.

Point of view doesn’t stop with characters, but also affects inanimate and animate objects like setting and weather. Let’s discuss some possibilities!

How to Edit the Point of View

  • Who has the most at stake in this story?
  • Whose perspective offers the best story in this scene?
  • How will your chosen POV impact your characters, the plot, your readers?

Who has the most at stake in this story?

In storytelling, it’s really all about what’s at stake for the main character. And it’s not what they’re grilling, either. Unless, of course, it’s a camping novel, and then it works.

Which character has the higher stake? The butcher who is forced to sell his butcher shop because his wife is sick, or the daughter who must leave her school to travel with her family so they can get medical help for mother? It depends.

We must ask ourselves the following potential questions:

  • Who is your audience?
  • Which character is speaking to you the most?
  • Which character has the most to learn by the end of the story?
  • What is the takeaway for your readers?

If it seems as if storytelling is comprised of asking lots of questions, you’re right. It is. As writers, we must don our analytical hats and comb every journalist-style question as we map out the story basics.

Whose perspective offers the best story in this scene?

Perspective is everything. It’s the difference between telling the story from Boo Radley’s eyes or from Scout’s eyes; the old man’s eyes in UP or his wife’s eyes; or Turnley Walker’s eyes.

Even if you are not familiar with the characters I just named, you might have noticed that the perspectives are all very different from each other. There’s first person, third person, and second person.

First Person

To Kill a Mockingbird. Harper Lee tells the story from Scout’s perspective in first person. Everything that I experience in this story is as if I were viewing the world from Scout’s vantage point. I get inside Scout’s head and notice everything, feel everything, do everything, and think everything that Scout does. I’m affected by the arguments of the era, the racial disputes, and the events around me.

Writing in first person is a great way to share cultural and social issues with readers because of the depth of voice you can write from. You can also write your story from a first-person heroine and a third-person hero (in separate chapters, of course), if you’d like to switch it up a bit. Additionally, teen readers often relate to stories written in first person, as my friend Kara Swanson has done in her Peter Pan retelling, Dust (July 2020, Enclave Escape, a division of Enclave Publishing).

Second Person

Writing in second person is often discouraged. I’m not quite sure why, other than it can feel a bit clunky on the page. My friend Angela Hunt, author of biblical historicals, says that writing in second person “is the bubble gum flavor of ice cream. It’s delicious, but a bit annoying because you have to work on holding the bubble gum in your mouth while trying to swallow the ice cream and cone” (Unmasking the Mystery of Point of View, Angela Hunt, 14).

But sometimes I think that second person (you) tends to sound narrative in tone, which can be a fun way to tell a story. So if your story feels narrative in nature and your characters aren’t good at telling their own story, you might consider writing in second person. Or if your story has an ultimately unique perspective or subject matter, then maybe telling the story in second person works. Keep in mind, second person also requires the present tense verb. Let’s read an example from a book published in 1950.

Rise Up and Walk by Turnley Walker. It’s the personal story of a man who contracted polio, a crippling flulike virus, and he chose second person voice to tell his story. I think it’s effective because it puts readers in an empathetic mood. Turnley opens the story like this,

“The regulation hospital bed is thirty-four by seventy-four inches. In the beginning that much space is allotted to each polio—the new name you get after Infantile Paralysis slugs you. That thirty-four-by-seventy-four inch area is a place that poliomyelitis allows  you, and even though you have been a much-traveled man in the outside world, you learn to live in it” (Rise Up and Walk, Turnley Walker, 7).

There are a few things I notice about this opening and the second-person viewpoint:

  • The subject matter is interesting
  • The tone is reflective and conversational
  • The tone affects empathy

Now, lest you think second person is a great idea, please think again. It’s not often used, and when it is, it can be difficult to manage because it also requires writing in present tense. Still curious? Go ahead. Give it a try. See how it works for you—and then ask a beta reader or skilled editor to ensure the story’s worthy of second person.

Third Person

Writing in third person is the most-used option for POV for several reasons. It’s easy. It’s fun. And you get to explore the world through multiple characters’ eyes. Besides, most authors write in third person.

Telling the story from the viewpoint of she or he or they or it adds life to a story because it allows readers to experience the story from a bird’s-eye view while also getting inside the head of the main character in the story at the moment.

Nan, in Elizabeth Berg’s The Pull of the Moon, sets off to adventure the world at fifty. As she gets into her car and drives across the country, she explores places, meets people, and discovers herself along the way. And I imagine the author wrote this book from Nan’s perspective, making this book an exceptional insight into the life of one character.

Writing in third person requires using the five senses and the journalist’s five W’s and H, and for the best reading experience, showing readers the world from that character’s POV. This means—what they see, hear, feel, say, think, do—whatever they experience is only told from their eyes. Only. Head hopping is not an option here. It’s more confusing for readers to experience the same scene from two characters or more. (Watch for a future blog post on that topic!)

How will your chosen POV impact your characters, the plot, your readers?

Choosing the correct POV is as important as choosing the correct plot trajectory or characters to act out the story. The correct POV is the mood of the story, the flavor you want readers to taste, the mountain you want them to view.

If you’re writing in a voice that seems “off,” try switching gears and write in another voice. There isn’t a wrong way to write a story, but there is the right viewpoint that tells the best story.

Secret Sauce to the Best Point of View

Elizabeth Berg, author of The Pull of the Moon, says, “I have wanted you to see out of my eyes so many times.”

And let that be true of your manuscript, however you choose to tell your story and whomever to use to tell your story—whether first person, second person, third person, deep point of view … or if you choose to let an animate or inanimate object tell the story, so be it.

Each writer and author benefits from exploring their characters inside and out, while asking “what if?” at every turn when crafting their novel’s plot because it’s really the secret sauce to writing a great story that captivates people, agents, editors, readers, marketers, and the person who wouldn’t necessarily pick up a book and read it.

Questions? Comments? I’d love to engage in the conversation with you! Drop your question or comment in the chat below, and I’ll look forward to responding!

Your Turn!

Who is your audience, and what do you hope they gain from reading your book?

Which viewpoint do you think is best to tell the story you’re writing, and why?

Tisha Martin writes historical fiction and nonfiction but edits full time for beginning and best-selling writers and publishing houses. Since 2017 she has worked on over 250 books, including Planned from the Start, the devotional companion to Unplanned the movie, and serves as contest judge for Writer’s Digest. She puts her bachelors in Professional Writing, masters in English Education, and editing certificate from the PEN Institute to delightful good use. Her nonfiction essay “The Meaning of an Heirloom” in The Horse of My Dreams: True Stories of the Horses We Love is available from Revell. She enjoys speaking at writer’s conferences and coaching writers in the self-editing process. Learn more at www.tishamartin.com.   

Categories
The Picky Pen

How to Edit the Plot

As we continue this editing series how we can develop a great story by having all the layers in place before actually writing, or if you’ve already written your book, how to make sure all the layers are in place.

The second layer in developing a great story is developing your story’s plot.

Surprisingly the story’s plot extends beyond points of action in your story and reaches into the area of the characters and how they interact with the story’s trajectory of the plot.

How to Edit the Plot

  • How well do you know your characters?
  • How do your characters interact with the story events?
  • How well do you create suspense, conflict, and context throughout plot?

How well do you know your characters?

Knowing your characters is more than knowing their outer attributes. Knowing your characters internally is key to mapping out a rock solid plot. Let’s explore some ways we can really get to know our characters.

If we describe our characters in terms of physical appearance is great because it gives readers a visual representation; however, if we describe our characters by what drives them, then we open the door for readers to understand how our characters live and breathe.

For example, a librarian who doesn’t particularly like books, but is simply driven because of the patrons who frequent the library might offer an interesting plot and chain of events.

How do your characters interact with the story events?

Every story has that one character who makes the story shine, much like the key actor in a film. Which character comes to your mind? I’m thinking of D.C. Morse in the BBC series, Endeavour, and Elizabeth Bennet in Pride and Prejudice.

With our librarian, perhaps she feels remorse from an event in her past, and she seeks to cover her own feelings by paying attention to the library patrons. What if this self-serving action sends her on an adventure as she gets to know each person, therefore helping her through her own inner struggle? What chain of events would have to happen for this to be resolved?

How well do you create suspense, conflict, and context throughout plot?

Alfred Hitchcock said, “Emotion is an essential ingredient of suspense.” And, I would also add, an essential ingredient of conflict and context in the plot as well.

Back to our librarian. Would she argue with one of the patrons, or go out of her way to help another reunite with a family member? What if she was suspicious of one but not of another? If one of the patrons was homeless, would she let him sleep in the library, sneaking him in after closing? What if a young patron checked out the same book week after week, and the librarian was reminded of her own childhood fascination with books and experiences anxiety from the memories? What would happen if someone found out?

And if another patron, who did not have enough money for a library card, possessed sticky fingers, would she turn a blind eye, because she knew they were researching for something important, and this person always returned the books? What would happen if they didn’t, and the library director found out and confronted the librarian about this employee infraction? And really, why did the librarian feel motivated to let the patron take books home without a library card?

A Few Examples

Lillian Avery in Anchor in the Storm (Waves of Freedom series) by Sarah Sundin wants to prove herself by getting a job as a pharmacist. But when she gets the job, she’s thrust into more than just working at the pharmacy—she’s jumped into a drug ring. How she reacts to each situation sends her deeper into the events, until she’s caught right in the middle of the struggle. . .

In Lady Jayne Disappears by Joanna Davidson Politano, Aurelie Harcourt struggles to find a home with her deceased writer-father’s wealthy family, she embarks on the adventure of finishing his last story, and is thrown into a whirl of trouble with her new family—who seem to thwart her every effort of finding out what happened to her mother.

Secret Sauce to the Plot

My favorite editor, Maxwell Perkins (who worked with F. Scott Fitzgerald and other authors of that time), said to “just get it down on paper, and then we’ll see what to do with it.” I love that because it brings home the reality that if we don’t write, we’ll be staring at a blank page. And heavens, we can’t edit a blank page!

Each writer and author benefits from exploring their characters inside and out, while asking “what if?” at every turn when crafting their novel’s plot because it’s really the secret sauce to writing a great story that captivates people, agents, editors, readers, marketers, and the person who wouldn’t necessarily pick up a book and read it.

Questions? Comments? I’d love to engage in the conversation with you! Drop your question or comment in the chat below, and I’ll look forward to responding!

Your Turn!

What is something unusual that your character possesses that could enhance your story’s plot

What are three ways your character interacts with the plot?

Tisha Martin writes historical fiction and nonfiction but edits full time for beginning and best-selling writers and publishing houses. Since 2017 she has worked on over 250 books, including Planned from the Start, the devotional companion to Unplanned the movie, and serves as contest judge for Writer’s Digest. She puts her bachelors in Professional Writing, masters in English Education, and editing certificate from the PEN Institute to delightful good use. Her nonfiction essay “The Meaning of an Heirloom” in The Horse of My Dreams: True Stories of the Horses We Love is available from Revell. She enjoys speaking at writer’s conferences and coaching writers in the self-editing process. Learn more at www.tishamartin.com.   

Categories
The Picky Pen

How to Find the Felt Need

This is the first post in my editing series in 2020 for how to develop a great story by having all the layers in place before actually writing, or if you’ve already written your book, how to make sure all the layers are in place.

The first layer in developing a great story is finding the felt need.

We all have needs. We have a need for sleep, sustenance, and sunshine. Your readers have needs, such as reading a soul-stirring good book. Your characters have needs like how to move forward in a relationship or making it through a congested highway in time to punch the clock. And do all those needs need to match? Not really, but they should at least mesh in some way. If you don’t know why your readers are reading your book, then what’s the point? You don’t have an engaged audience, you can’t sell books, and you just aren’t going anywhere, eh? Well, I want you and your books to go somewhere! 🙂

Recently, one writer lamented that the qualities necessary for a good nonfiction book were clearly not the same as the qualities necessary for a fiction book. Readers of fiction, they said, do not specifically read to meet their “need.” Okay, so I can see what they’re saying, but I respectfully disagree.

While it’s somewhat true to that fiction readers don’t read because they have a flaming need, readers of fiction read because they enjoy a good story. And as writers who care about writing good stories, we must give readers what they’re looking for, what they’re craving. The next few paragraphs presents several ways to easily find the felt need in your fiction manuscript.

How to Find the Felt Need

  • why are you writing this particular story?
  • what do you want readers to come away with at the end of the story?
  • how do the answers to the above questions play into your characters’ lives?

Why Are You Writing this Particular Story?

If you’re writing for the sake of writing, that’s a good cause, but if you’re writing because you have an urgent message to share with the world, that’s an even better cause.

Sometimes a book explores an issue to seek to uncover the lie and expose the truth, as in To Kill A Mockingbird. Sometimes a book is meant to show the reader what is most important, such as in Where the Red Fern Grows. And sometimes a book is just fun and lighthearted, with a loose message threaded throughout, like Cranford.

What Do You Want Readers to Come Away With?

Every story has a “so what?” factor, whether it’s an essay, article, nonfiction, or fiction. Every story has a purpose, even if it’s to have a good, hearty laugh (like the ladies do in Elizabeth Gaskell’s Cranford) or to integrate the romance factor as in The Great Gatsby.

In my essay, “The Meaning of an Heirloom,” in The Horse of My Dreams (Revell 2019), I wanted readers to come away with the idea that an heirloom extends beyond the space of something tangible; an heirloom could be intangible—and have a lasting impact on the world and others.

Each author benefits from exploring this “why” question when crafting their novel because it’s really the secret sauce to writing a great story that captivates people, agents, editors, readers, marketers, and the person who wouldn’t necessarily pick up a book and read it.

A Few Examples

In The Baggage Handler by David Rawlings, the characters are on a journey of discovery about who they really are and the baggage they carry. I believe the author wanted readers to be at peace with their relationships in all kinds of spaces.

Under Moonlit Skies (Prairie Skies series) by Cynthia Roemer seeks to empower readers that self-acceptance is more powerful than romantic love.

The theme of Sarah Sundin’s Sunrise at Normandy series is about forgiveness, and each main character (The Sea Before Us [2018], The Sky Above Us [2019], and The Land Beneath Us [2020]) must forge their own forgiveness path as they interact with each other and experience different situations that speak to their own needs.

So … as you’re editing your manuscript’s “felt need” and crafting your novel and its purpose to better serve your current readers and your future readers, I hope this bit of explanation is helpful to you.

Questions? Comments? I’d love to engage in the conversation with you! Drop your question or comment in the chat below, and I’ll look forward to responding!

Your Turn!

What is your character’s felt need? What is your story’s “why”?

What do you want your readers to come away with by the end of reading your book?

(Please, no retelling what the book is *about.)

Tisha Martin writes historical fiction and nonfiction but edits full time for beginning and best-selling writers and publishing houses. Since 2017 she has worked on over 250 books, including Planned from the Start, the devotional companion to Unplanned the movie, and serves as contest judge for Writer’s Digest. She puts her bachelors in Professional Writing, masters in English Education, and editing certificate from the PEN Institute to delightful good use. Her nonfiction essay “The Meaning of an Heirloom” in The Horse of My Dreams: True Stories of the Horses We Love is available from Revell. She enjoys speaking at writer’s conferences and coaching writers in the self-editing process. Learn more at www.tishamartin.com.   

Categories
The Picky Pen

Punctuation Series: How to Edit Commas with Clauses

In light of the holiday season, here’s a final fun topic in our Punctuation Series: editing commas within independent and dependent clauses. Do you think Santa Claus will be pleased we included him?

I’ll be referring to The Chicago Manual of Style 17th edition, chapter six.

Let’s hitch up our sleigh and explore briefly these elements. Knowing when to insert commas in relation to independent and dependent clauses can seem confusing, like someone mixing up your name with someone else’s at the holiday gift exchange. So, let’s be clear and get started.

Use Commas with Independent Clauses When…

  • two ideas are separated by a conjunction.

    Heather trekked two miles through the snow back to her house, but when she arrived, the gift was not there.
  • the clause is part of a series.

    Jack is writing about thoroughbreds, Crystal is writing about detectives, and Cathryn is writing about the militia.
  • However, if the sentence is relatively simple, then consider eliminating the comma.

    Elyah played the harp and Havilah sang.
  • Or, if the sentence has the same subject but different verbs, leave off the comma.

    Ian dusted and waxed the piano for tonight’s singalong.

Use Commas with Dependent Clauses When…

  • your sentence has an introductory element, like a subordinating conjunction (if, when, or because).

    When we are ready, please lift the angel to the top of the tree.
    Because without six carolers, our group won’t be in harmony.
    If no one comes, it means more cookies for me.
  • your sentence has a parenthetical thought.

    We’ll watch the play, if you’re inclined to join us.
  • your sentence has two dependent clauses separated by a coordinating conjunction.

    Grandpa decorated the tree with an array of bubble lights, and if little Claire had not played with the end of the string, the lights might have gone up sooner.


I hope you’ve enjoyed this final blog post for this year’s series! It’s meant to be a reminder for those sometimes tricky and pesky Grammarly things.

Thanks as ever for joining this Punctuation Series journey this year. It’s been a pleasure sharing with you. Out of this series, what have you most enjoyed?

Tisha Martin writes historical fiction and nonfiction but also edits and proofreads for beginning and best-selling writers, professional editing agencies, and publishing houses. She has a BA in Professional Writing, an MS in English Education, and an editing certificate from the PEN Institute, affordable continuing education for editors. Active in American Christian Fiction Writers and The PEN, she appreciates the writing and editing communities. As Assistant Director of PENCON, a conference for editors, she enjoys travel marketing and updating PENCON’s Facebook Page. Connect with Tisha on her website www.tishamartin.com and engage in the conversation.

Categories
The Picky Pen

Punctuation Series: How to Edit Foreign Quotation Marks

Have you ever tried to read a book in a foreign language? Perhaps some of you have. I’ve tried reading Spanish and German, and when I didn’t know either language, I got all turned around by how they used quotation marks. So, to quotation mark or not to quotation mark, that is the question. More like, going into the quirky, fun side of the quotation mark!

I’ll be referring to The Chicago Manual of Style 17th edition, chapter six.

Since this element of grammar has so much to say (whoever knew there was so much to say about quotation marks?), I’ll touch on the highlights, and also give a glimpse into quotation  marks for foreign language, too. And since so many of our books are being published in different languages, I thought this would be super cool to talk about!

Using quotation marks with other punctuation in the text. (Chicago Manual of Style 6.114).

  • Yeah, it can get tricky sometimes, especially when our fingers are typing faster than we can keep up.
  • So, in using quotation marks with commas, we know that the quotation marks are  generally placed *outside of commas, question marks, exclamation points, but *inside colons and semicolons.
  • But what about when foreign language is involved?

Using “smart” quotation marks (Chicago Manual of Style 6.115).

  • Call me a smarty pants, but it’s universally acknowledged in the professional publishing sphere that published works should use “smart” quotation marks. Because we’re smart. I really think it has to do with the way this punctuation looks: curly in form, instead of straight typewriter-quotation marks. So, curly quotes it is for “smart” writers. Example: “ ”, not ʺ.
  • The above information is for the English language. 😊 Now do you want to know what it’s like for French? Well, let’s hop on over to Chicago 11.29 and following!
  • French. For quotation marks, the French use guillemets to surround whatever needs to be in quotes. Like this: « ».
  • So, an example sentence: « Oui, madam » . Now, for quotations within quotations, regular double quotation marks are used (like this, “example text”).
  • However, and this gets trickier, but I think it’s pretty cool! In dialogue, the guillemets are replaced with em dashes. So, for example, He said, — Oui, madam.
  • German. (Chicago 11.41!) Depending where your book is published in Europe, punctuation marks take different forms. Quite literally.
  • Whereas the French use guillemets, the Germans use split-level inverted quotation marks; or, if you’re in Switzerland, your book’s dialogue will use guillemets.
  • Here’s an example of the split-level quotation marks for German prose: „Guten Tag!“

So the next time your book’s being published in French or German, you’ll know a bit about what to expect where quotation marks are involved.

How’s that for quotation marks within the foreign text? I hope you enjoyed it!

Conversation Time!!

Please take a minute and join in the discussion! I’d love to hear from you!

Do you read any foreign languages? Which books have you enjoyed?

Tisha Martin writes historical fiction and nonfiction but also edits and proofreads for beginning and best-selling writers, professional editing agencies, and publishing houses. She has a BA in Professional Writing, an MS in English Education, and an editing certificate from the PEN Institute, affordable continuing education for editors. Active in American Christian Fiction Writers and The PEN, she appreciates the writing and editing communities. As Assistant Director of PENCON, a conference for editors, she enjoys travel marketing and updating PENCON’s Facebook Page. Connect with Tisha on her website www.tishamartin.com and engage in the conversation.

Categories
The Picky Pen

Punctuation Series: How to Edit Slashes

We’re toward the end of our self-editing blog post punctuation series, but it certainly is not the end of the self-editing blog posts! In 2020, I’m planning a fiction and nonfiction course available in this similar blog post format to help writers nail down those sometimes tricky nuances of self-editing.

And sometimes the tricks are small, like the slashes we’re going to cover in today’s blog post. But though they are small, they are mighty in presentation—because that’s been the focus of this series, to ensure our manuscript presentation is spot-on for agents, editors, and readers, and for you, because when our presentation is beautiful, it’s something to be even prouder of, isn’t it?

Using slashes is important for both genres: fiction and nonfiction, believe it or not.

You might think it strange using slashes in fiction. . . well, how about fantasy or science fiction, where there’s occasionally that word or turn of phrase that just requires the slash? Like, the Hyperdrive 437/895 or Sector 222 maneuvering into the 343/898 realm.

I’ll be referring to The Chicago Manual of Style 17th edition, chapter six.

You may have always known the slash as the slash. But there’s another name for it. Several, actually. Yeah, I didn’t know that either, but I think it’s really cool!

  • The slash / is also known as slant or forward slash. OK, those we know. . .
  • But—the slash / is also known as virgule. Say, what?
  • And, the slash / is also known as solidus.

I see now how the slash makes a good case for being used in fantasy or science fiction, ha! Those last two alternate words are definitely fiction-worthy!

Let’s dive into the few tips for using slashes correctly within our manuscripts.

Slashes can signify alternatives in our writing. (Chicago Manual of Style 6.106).

  • Using the slash is somewhat informal, but even in formal circumstances, it can be used more effectively than the longhand “or.” The slash is shorthand or slang for our writing.
  • Sometimes the slash can be used for alternative spellings or names.
  • Now, one minor point to notice with that last bullet:
  • If you’re using a slash and your phrase has more than one word (compound), then simply enter a spacebar space between the slash on both sides.

Ready for some real examples? Here we go!

  1. he/she  Philip/Phyllis
  2. and/or  World War II / Second World War

    Now, sometimes a slash makes better sense to replace “and” in a sentence. For instance, a Jekyll/Hyde personality, a BS/MS program, or an addition/deletion error. These slashes would refer to the phrases as an equal opportunity or offers both options, or includes both things.

Using slashes that span two years (Chicago Manual of Style 6.107).

  • If you’re using dates with the difference of one year, then a slash is a better option to use than an en dash.
  • For example, Between 1943/44 the US was in the thick of a world war.

Using slashes in breaks with poetry (Chicago Manual of Style 6.111).

  • We see poetry in both fiction and nonfiction, and knowing where to put those breaks is super helpful.
  • If you’re writing two or more lines of poetry, rather than using a comma at the end of each stanza, use a slash at the end of each stanza break.
  • For example, “A word is dead / When it is said, / Some say. / I say it just / Begins to live / That day.”

Using slashes with URLs and other paths (Chicago Manual of Style 6.112).

  • We see this mostly in endnotes, bibliographies, sources cited, etc. And sometimes we see them in prose, but not often. (Again, it’s also useful for science fiction genres.)
  • Slashes are great for URLs, file paths, and certain directions, including where to find something in Word.
  • With URLs, insert a slash with each part. For example, https://www.tishamartin.com/blog/. Or, https://www.almostanauthor.com/category/career/book-proposals/.
  • If you’re using any kind of resources page at the end of your book (this applies mostly to nonfiction), and a URL happens to be part of the resources used, it’s good to separate part of the link after the slash, not before. www.tishamartin.com/
    blog/.
  • With file path directions, it’s best to outline it this way for ease and clarity: To find Track Changes in Word, in the toolbar, go to Review/Tracking and click the down arrow to select Track Changes on/off or to see in Simple Markup, All Markup, or No Markup.

How’s that for a very brief introductory to using the slash that’s sometimes used but so often tricky to use?

Using the well-placed slash is important because your overall presentation makes a world of difference to your editor, agent, publisher, and readers. That may seem counterintuitive because the writing is equally important, but it’s the presentation that enhances your credibility as a writer. (Especially if you self-publish and are doing your own first-draft editing.)

Pro Tip :: I’m creating a few cheat sheets on some of the topics I’ve covered so far, and if you’d like to be in the loop for when they’ll be ready, just go to my website and email me, letting me know you’d like to be added to my Grammar List!! I look forward to seeing you!

Please take a minute and join in the discussion! I’d love to hear from you!

Conversation Time!! What kinds of things would you like to see in my upcoming Fiction and Nonfiction self-editing courses? This can be anywhere from finding the “need,” how to edit character, scene, or dialogue, or anything else that you have been curious about! Drop a line in the comments! I’d love to hear from you!

Tisha Martin writes historical fiction and nonfiction but also edits and proofreads for beginning and best-selling writers, professional editing agencies, and publishing houses. She has a BA in Professional Writing, an MS in English Education, and an editing certificate from the PEN Institute, affordable continuing education for editors. Active in American Christian Fiction Writers and The PEN, she appreciates the writing and editing communities. As Assistant Director of PENCON, a conference for editors, she enjoys travel marketing and updating PENCON’s Facebook Page. Connect with Tisha on her website www.tishamartin.com and engage in the conversation.