He said, She said

Have you ever felt stuck using the same dialogue tags? It can creep in when we get comfortable with our writing. It’s the easy way to move on to the next character’s line of dialogue. But dialogue tags are a useful tool for writers to add imagery to their words. 

Take a simple group of sentences like these for example:

“Run,” she said.

“Where should I run?” he asked.

“To get help!” she exclaimed. 

Look familiar? We sometimes find this style of writing in young children’s books. As the writing level moves up, it’s appropriate to add more than simple tags to dialogue. It’s natural to get caught up in the action and forget to add the little flourishes our dialogue so greatly needs to enhance the scene. It’s effortless to hurry through dialogue with a simple “he said, she said.” But this is a missed opportunity to show more about your characters. 

For instance: “I’m alone and afraid,” she said, shivering.

What does that look like to the reader? How does the reader envision that sentence? We read what she says, but how does that look?

Let’s try that again.

“I’m alone and afraid.” Abigail rubbed the goosebumps on her arms. Her scalp prickled as she sat huddled in her bedroom closet with her cell phone to her ear.

This is a better visual of what Abigail is doing. We show the reader rather than tell them how she feels. It takes a bit more thought, but worth it to throw the reader right into that closet with Abigail.

Dialogue tags are a wonderful opportunity to show the reader what your character is doing rather than telling them. It’s also a great way to showcase your writing savvy.

 Readers often skip over dialogue tags like ‘said’, so they aren’t always necessary. If the dialogue is well written, readers will recognize the voice of their beloved characters before they read the dialogue tag. They aren’t needed for every sentence, so mix it up. Don’t slow down the reader’s pace with a needless ‘said’ or ‘asked’. 

How about the use of ‘exclaimed’? Let’s see how that looks:

“You’re stepping on my foot!” Jenny exclaimed.

This tells us the person is not happy having their foot stepped on. But what else is going on here? What if the author wrote it like this:

“You’re stepping on my foot.” Jenny’s face contorted as she tugged her shoe from under the elephant’s foot.”

Okay, an elephant is a bit extreme, but you get the idea. We can see how Jenny is upset without using a telling dialogue tag. 

Take advantage of dialogue tags as a chance to showcase a bit of your characters’ mannerisms. How about showing their physical attributes? Let’s take an example like this one:

“I don’t want to go to the doctor,” Jenny said.

Or could we toss in some description and say it this way:

“I don’t want to go to the doctor.” Jenny’s long, brown hair blew out the open window of the car as she clenched her teeth.

  These are alternative ways to show your readers rather than tell with creative dialogue tags. Have fun and spice up your writing with some action, description, and emotion.

Leann Austin has written over a hundred newspaper articles published in The Post-Journal and The Villager – Lakeside Edition. She’s also authored 16 stories for Primary Treasure magazine. She was the recipient of an honorable mention in Writer’s Digest 75th Annual Writing Competition. 

Leann blogs about her son’s journey with type one diabetes at leannaustin.blogspot.com. She also connects with her readers at her author page. Leann is a mother of four fabulous children and in her spare time she crochets newborn caps for the local hospital nursery.