“Hi Their” – First Impressions

“Hi Their [sic]” were the two words I read. “Bye There!” was the instant reply in my head.

Really? Someone sent “Hi Their [sic]” popping onto my screen?

Only two words had travelled from his electronic dating profile to mine.  It took one second for them to occupy their chat box space, and it took two seconds for me to decide his fate.

As I read  two words instantly my mind knew, “I will not be dating you.”  Yet, another thought suggested, “Maybe you’re being too harsh? Just look at his picture— give him a chance.”  A nip of curiosity bubbled inside; I temporarily agreed leaving first thoughts behind. I looked at his picture but familiar features repelled my gaze; he looked like an ex, so again, no expectations were raised. Fighting the urge to be judgmental, I continued looking for something new.  “Okay, I’ll read his profile then decide,” a fair thought I could not deny. He’s looking for someone “sweet.” That’s not me. And his target age claims seeking younger than forty-three.  Why is he even sending “Hi Their [sic]” to my pc?

Reading further reveals only one trait he implores; he’s looking for a connection and if you’re “sweet” that means much more.  This “sweet” trait is clearly a must since he says it three ways on his short page.  “Good hearted and sweet” opens the first line followed by “real sweet” a second time, and finally, a more specific appeal states “not fake southern belle sweet” ending his third and closing line.

After receiving additional two-word greetings via the small chat box on the right of my screen, I quickly write him back and announce his fate: “Thanks for the note. I took a moment to read your profile, and although I am sure you are a great guy, I don’t feel I am the gal you are looking for according to your profile description.  Best of luck in your search.”  (Last line is popular on dating sites after rejection occurs.)

Now before you call me simple-minded and shallow, please remember I pushed past the two words when I already knew this writer’s fate.  I looked again. I read more, and still the outcome was the same. Sometimes we know what we are looking for , and there is no time to waste on Mr. Wrong (i.e., dating just to date), or else we will not be available and prepared for Mr. Right.

How similar the above scene must be regarding editors, agents and publishers when they read a writer’s one sheet or receive a proposal. They too are screening with just a few words. They have experience, knowledge, and skills for which they can determine quickly if a proposal is the right fit for them. Sometimes they are repelled by the condition of the text or even by the ideas. Time is not available to spend polishing the message. To new writers often grammar and mechanical errors may seem small and insignificant to the importance of the message, but unfortunately, errors hinder and distract readers from your message. If I am able to discern a dating choice within two words, imagine how text is scrutinized by a potential publisher’s eyes.

Your final prose is dressed with grammar, mechanics, and techniques (including those pesky homophones which elude spell check for fun). It proudly presents itself to readers, editors, and publishers—the judges making decisions of its fate. So take time and care to polish your words. This may require ridding yourself of an old mental block from high school about dreading English class and the long assignments. Grammar didn’t seem important then, but now that you have a calling to convey a message, it is vital.

As writers we all have a message. Each one is different and unique to our background and life experiences. Every message possesses an individual purpose. One message may not reach and appeal to each reader, but each message may reach and appeal to one reader. We may never know whom our message touches, and for me, I try not to be overly concerned. I’ll let the Holy Spirit handle that part. My hope is to help others rid their words of distracting errors and flaws so the message gains the reader’s attention.

Maybe I missed out on the love of my life. Maybe a publisher misses out on a best-selling novel when decisions are quickly made by first impressions. I’m sorry. I didn’t say it was fair or right, but— it happens.

As I end this first post for Almost An Author, I invite you to send grammar questions you would like to see answered. Don’t be shy. If I don’t know the answer, I do know where to find it. (I too am always learning and language is always changing.) With this opportunity I hope to encourage and help you polish your message, so when you get that date for a first impression, it will be your message that is heard and seen, not small errors distracting the eyes like bling-bling.

Thanks for visiting my post and taking time to read beyond “Hi Their [sic].”

P.S.  Irony while looking for love—

Had Mr. Dating Site Guy and I met in person and he said, “Hi there,” I would not have noticed nor been so critical? Could things have turned out differently? I think not. Because he still looked like my ex, and he would have eventually discovered although I’m faithful, loyal, generous, and strong,  I’m really not all that sweet.

Source is not acknowledged in order to protect his anonymity.

Image credits: Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com and https://www.flickr.com/photos/liewcf/