How to Defeat Dream Killers

We know them. Naysayers. Those who never have a word of encouragement. But who are they? Before we can avoid their influence, first we have to identify who they are.

Identifying Dream Killers

Ourselves

I don’t know about most people, but I am my own worst critic. Perfectionism can drive me to despair, rather than encouraging me to be my best. Are you your own worst enemy? Negative self talk, sabotaging yourself, not giving priority to the task, or being oversensitive to criticism or setbacks are all ways to sabotage goals and dreams.

Purposefully feeding our vision can help to keep us on the right track. Get rid of negativity and fear. What comes out of your mouth influences the outcome, be it positive or negative. It feeds or smothers. Spoken words and subsequent actions define and expose true feelings and beliefs about your destiny.

Toxic People

Recently, I read about the toxic bond. For many people, the relationships that should be the most loving and supportive are anything but. Something inside us craves the approval of the ones we love, even if we have never experienced a supportive relationship with them. Don’t expect toxic people to change. It’s OK to acknowledge the desire for approval, but trying to earn affirmation from those who won’t or can’t give it will only cause you greater pain. Hang around with the right kind of people, the ones who encourage and lift you up. 

Discernment is needed to recognize who are the encouragers and who stands in the way. 

“Standing alone is better than standing with people who don’t value you.” ~ Unknown

Experts  

Seeking counsel is a wise thing to do, but asking for input and taking instruction from the wrong people can hinder your progress. There will be people who mean well, but rather than helping, they erect stumbling blocks. Their advice doesn’t apply to your situation, or there is difficulty communicating. Perhaps they do not understand your goal, or have different literary tastes from yours. That’s not to say you can’t use their critique, but be selective. Don’t blindly apply suggestions you don’t understand, instead ask questions so it can be a learning experience. In the end, choose for yourself how to write your story. If personalities don’t mesh, things may not work out. Not everyone will be a good fit.

I get a great deal of expert advice from books and blogs, but I can get hung up on gathering knowledge. Learning occurs by both instruction and practice. If I only read about writing and never actually put pen to paper, the book won’t get written. 

Withstanding Dream Killers

Define Your Vision

A person with a clear objective is hard to discourage. Define your goal and purpose. Understand why you are pursuing that target. If you need to, write it down. Ask yourself, what is the greatest vision that I have for the work I am doing? What is the biggest achievement I hope to accomplish? 

A worthwhile vision requires commitment, discipline, and patience. This is what to keep in mind. Your vision must be greater than the inevitable negativity. 

From time to time I get caught up in the business of writing and forget my core purpose for the work. I write to communicate, to deliver a message. I have to have faith that the ones who need this story will find it.

Take Action

A dream will not come to pass if no steps are taken towards it. Take one step and then another. Without the daily pursuit of goals, you can’t expect anything to come to fruition. Design a plan and work at it.

Stay Steady

Discouragement is draining and the desire to give up can be strong. Refuse to allow failures and difficulty derail you. Stay in the battle, and stay focused on your vision. Persistence is necessary. 

Discouragement will come. How are you going to react to it?

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Donna Jo Stone writes YA contemporary novels about tough issues but always ends the stories with a note of hope. She blogs at donnajostone.com.