There’s nothing more disappointing than picking up a novel described as mystery, suspense, or thriller, fully expecting a hair-raising adventure, only to find it failed to meet its genre expectations.
A bee sting doesn’t merit being called a suspense scene unless the heroine is deathly allergic and will go into anaphylactic shock without immediate treatment. Then, tension soars because the reader wonders if the murderer cleverly orchestrated the danger.
Wondering if a baseball player will hit a home run in the last inning of the game can become intense, but what if the stakes shot higher? How much more would the suspense escalate if someone replaced the game ball with a fake one containing a bomb? What? Who? And why?
Think about actual life situations and the escalating feelings of shock, fear, trepidation, and horror that are increasingly overwhelming. Did goosebumps appear? Were there screams and tears? Shaking, nervousness, or fainting?
Make your scenes realistic, like these.
1. A man’s face appeared in the kitchen window while she washed the dinner dishes. She screamed. Water doused the floor. She bolted. Shock, fear, and adrenaline sent her plowing through the house as she tried to escape.
2. The green car pulled to the curb. The passenger door flung open, exposing the empty passenger seat. The driver pointed a gun and demanded she get in, or else. She darted down the street toward home, and he didn’t shoot, but sped away.
3. Two female teenagers walked down the road, returning home from the store a few blocks from home. A pickup passed with two men in the flat bed portion of the truck. Gunshots fired. The zing of a bullet passed close to one girl’s head. The other girl held her hands over her ears and screamed.
4. A young mother soaked in the bathtub while her baby napped. Her husband stormed into the bathroom in a rage, pointing a gun in her face. He claimed she was the enemy, and he was going to kill her. He ranted and left as quickly as he’d come. Soaking wet, she jerked on her clothing, grabbed her baby, and ran for her life.
5. A teenage girl moved into an apartment for her first experience of living on her own. She arrived home from work one day and settled in for a quiet evening. Suddenly, unfamiliar angry male voices shouted and pounded on the front door. Mortified, she ran to her bedroom, locked the door, and scampered into the closet, pulling clothes over her head. Crash! They kicked in the front door and started shooting. Her hands shook uncontrollably, but she called her mom and whispered through breathless sobs that she was about to die. Her bedroom doorknob twisted. Sirens rang. Heavy footsteps grew distant as the men ran from the apartment. Police arrived only moments before her mother. She jumped into her mom’s arms and left, never to return to the apartment. This innocent teen escaped death, but the trauma remained.
Each scenario mentioned above actually happened. How easy would it be to expound on them and develop a fabulous suspense story?
Breathe life into your characters and make their feelings and reactions realistic. Read the newspapers, listen to the news, or watch the crowds. There’s a hidden story out there waiting to emerge.
Loretta Eidson writes romantic suspense. She has won and been a finalist in several writing contests, including first place in romantic suspense in the Foundations Awards at the 2018 Blue Ridge Mountain Christian Writers Conference, a finalist in ACFW’s 2018 Genesis, was a finalist in the 2018 Fabulous Five, and a double finalist in the 2017 Daphne du Maurier Award for Excellence.
Loretta lives in North Mississippi with her husband Kenneth, a retired Memphis Police Captain. She loves salted caramel lava cake, dark chocolate, and caramel Frappuccinos.
Visit her:
- Website: lorettaeidson.com
- Facebok: loretta.eidson.7
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