Love Your Writing, But . . .

The other day I got a rejection letter for a writing submission. Oh, and, by the way, the sky is blue.

Thought I would continue the thread of stating the obvious.

I have been “hacking away” at this writing thing for several years, and I have learned rejection letters are a part of the process. I do not like that part of the process, but it is there. Like a pimple or an extra pound on the scale.

Sure, I have had my share of acceptances, and I am grateful for those times when someone “got me” and my style of writing. You would think I would be used to the rejection by now and brush it off, but it still gets to me from time to time. Even Paul had a thorn but had to learn to live with it. If I were a contestant on What’s Your Thorn?, mine would be rejection letters.

Most editors/publishers try their best to be nice, interjecting something positive to lessen the blow. After all, a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. So I hear.

In this spirit, I thought I would share the Top Ten Nice Phrases for Rejection Letters. Editors, publishers, and agents–take notes:

1. Your typing is consistent.
2. Your writing resembles Max Lucado’s, in that you both use actual words and punctuation marks.
3. Lovely story—if only your characters were Amish . . .
4. What a creative email tag!
5. The Oxford Comma and the ellipsis are alive and well with you.
6. You have clearly mastered the art of the Microsoft Word header.
7. Lovin’ that title font!
8. It’s a wonderful concept, but we don’t publish __________  (Fill in the blank: zombie redemption stories, Amish speculative novels, soap opera devotionals, HUMOR, etc.).
9. It is great that you have a day job.
10. While you have a nice platform, it needs to be larger than a two-by-four.

The medicine is going down, but it is not easy. Maybe I should get my tongue out of my cheek . . .

Carlton Hughes wears many hats. By day, he’s a professor of communication at Southeast Kentucky Community and Technical College. On Wednesday evenings and Sunday mornings, he does object lessons and songs with motions as Children’s Pastor of Lynch Church of God. In his “spare time,” he is a freelance writer whose work has appeared in numerous publications, including Chicken Soup for the Soul and several devotional books from Worthy Publishing—Let the Earth Rejoice, Just Breathe, So God Made a Dog, and the recently released Everyday Grace for Men. Carlton and his wife Kathy have two college-age sons, Noah and Ethan. He is on the planning committee for Kentucky Christian Writers Conference and is a year-round volunteer for Operation Christmas child.