May the Embarrassing Moments Arise!

We were just about to head down the aisle before my daughter’s wedding, when I reached into my bag and blindly applied some last-minute lip gloss. My daughter, the bride, looked at me in shock and said, “Mom! What happened to your lips?” I quickly found a mirror and to my horror, realized I had applied zit concealer to my lips instead of lip gloss. (In my defense, the two tubes look remarkably alike.) Laughing in embarrassment, I wiped the concealer off, applied the lip gloss and headed down the aisle, glad that my lips were no longer concealed.

Oh, and last week, my husband left the front door open for the cable guy to come in. I walked into the foyer to find a wild bird flapping around in my house. I screamed as if I’d come face to face with a lion. I called for my husband and ran to grab some brooms, as the cable guy hesitantly entered the house. My husband tried to shoo the bird out the front door. Every time the bird moved, I instinctively screamed like a little girl and hid behind my broom. This wasn’t a falcon-sized bird, not a snake, huge hairy spider, nor even a creepy looking lizard, or mouse. It was a tiny helpless bird. But I was completely useless in this situation and couldn’t help but scream and hide with every movement of that feathered creature. The cable guy was laughing. Hysterically. My hero of a husband who intelligently opened windows, successfully directed the bird to the great outdoors.

I hesitate to even mention the time I went on a first date with a guy back in my earlier years. I dressed my best to make a good first impression and wore my new sandals that I loved because I could slide across the carpet as if on ice skates. Loved them! As we entered the movie theater to pick our seats, my date moved ahead of me down the aisle and chose a row. This aisle appeared to be a slate floor and it slanted downhill towards the screen. I took one step on it and was on ice. I slid down that aisle, waved to my date as I flew on past. Horrified, I reached for a seat to slow me down. Whew. Now all I had to do was maneuver uphill a couple rows to my date. On ice. My feet were moving but I remained in place. I seriously could not ascend that slippery slope. My date joined me in that row laughing, but had to physically carry me out afterwards. Great first impression.

I can’t be the only one with embarrassing situations. Come on. Share with me. What memories come to mind that make you laugh? These are the events you need to document. This is fodder for your children’s stories, for your blogs, articles, books! These are moments that stories are built on, that add to your character’s woes, that pepper your plot with humor, that catch your reader off guard. Spend time creating a file with blips from your past. Feel free to expand upon them and exaggerate if necessary, because it’s your story. I would hesitate to use funny stories that happened to other people, even changing the names, unless you modify it enough so as not to incriminate anyone. Certainly you have enough embarrassing or funny stories from your own life.

It’s time for those embarrassing moments that you hoped would never resurface to resurface! Bring them up! You’ll be glad you did, when you need to add a little spice to your project. If nothing else, you may rekindle some lessons learned, like keeping your concealer separate from your lip gloss and only buying shoes with tread on them.