Perseverance

In the interest of keeping things real here, I need to tell you how much I have been struggling with my identity as a writer. I have been wrestling with time management, facing off with my fear of social media (yes, that’s a thing), and having blunt discussions with myself about my skillset. It has been humbling. But it’s also been, for the most part, a private conversation.

Each night before bed, I ask my son if there’s anything he wants to talk about. The other night he seemed troubled, and this is what he professed.

“Mom, I have all these ideas in my head. Whole worlds of just…stuff. I get ideas at school and I just can’t stop to write them down and then later when I do go to write them down, they’re like, changed already and I can’t keep up. But mostly I never have enough time to write them,” he says. Then he looks at me with trusting, eager eyes and asks, “How do you do it?”

Thoughts flurried and my eyes blurred. I don’t. My staggering lack of increased page count over the past year is a glaring testimony to that fact. All my failed attempts at query letters, proposals, twitter pitch parties bear witness. 

One thought jarred me out of my pity storm: Regardless of how I feel, my son sees me as a writer. My son is beginning his own writing journey and he is looking for guidance. He’s looking to me.

Somehow I managed to check my insecurity and said, “I understand how hard it is. I don’t know that I have the best answer. I just keep trying.”

His face relaxed and he kept talking. He pulled out his phone and showed me his notes – they were only a couple of pages long but they prompted him to offer lengthy descriptions about characters, backstories, settings, plots. He told me about his worlds and where they came from. As a mom, and a writer, I couldn’t have been more proud to listen.

However clumsy I may have been, I would like to think listening to him and encouraging him helped him grow as a young writer. How can I help you? What kind of topics do you want to see in this column? What do you most want to learn about as you write for the middle grade reader?

Kell McKinney earned a B.A. in journalism from the University of Oklahoma and an M.S. in documentary studies from the University of North Texas. She’s a part-time copywriter, double-time mom and wife, and spends every free minute writing and/or hunting for her car keys. Connect with her on Twitter @Kell_McK or kellmckinney.com.