Put the Horse in the Theater and the Cow on the Roof -How to write sales copy that gets results

Did I ever tell you about the time my grandfather rode a horse down the center aisle of a movie theater in the middle of a show?

Pop (my grandfather) grew up in a small town in south central Kentucky. When this story happened, he was in his late teens—the age immortalized in the song lyric “old enough to know better, still too young to care.”

Pop saw a horse tethered on the town square, and an idea imprinted itself on his mind. He untied the horse, jumped on board, and trotted it to the end of town in a 1930s version of joyriding. At the town’s limits, though, there was only the Cumberland River, which at that time had no bridge. With nowhere to go, Pop turned the horse around and headed back to town.

For a teenage boy, joyriding a horse from town to the river wasn’t enough of a thrill. It was time to up the ante.

Pop saw the perfect opportunity. The town’s movie theater had just opened its doors. For a small fee, viewers could watch jerky, black-and-white Westerns. A show was in progress. People were inside. Another idea imprinted itself on his mind.

Somehow, Pop got that horse through the doors of the theater and rode it down the center aisle. The darkness, the unfamiliar sounds, and the (screaming) people inside terrified the horse. It went berserk in the middle of the theater. Somehow, Pop and the theater’s owner got the horse out of the theater and onto the square where it took Pop for a less-than-joyful ride back to the end of town. Before they reached the river, Pop fell off, and the horse found its own way home.

It was the one and only story Pop ever voluntarily told about his youth—except the one about the time he and his friends put a cow on the roof of the school.

What this has to do with copywriting (why you should keep reading)

Imagine being in the audience at a movie. It’s dark. It’s cool. There’s a story about horses and cowboys flashing in front of you. Maybe you’ve got an arm around a girl, or a guy has his arm around you. No wild man on a horse rides down the aisle. The movie ends.

You get home that night. Someone asks, “How was the movie?”

You say, “We had a good time. It was a Western. We ate popcorn.”

That day would eventually be lost in the haze of many such days.

But what about the people who were in the theater the day Pop rode a stolen horse down the center aisle? I bet those people had an electrifying story to tell when they got home! And I’ll bet they didn’t forget that day for a long time.

They were probably having a good time watching a story on the screen, but it was becoming actors in a far more dramatic and immediate story that made the day memorable for them.

I really do get to copywriting. Keep reading.

Today, an audience of people is consuming stories on blogs, on social media, and on printed letters stuffed in their mailboxes. The world is snowed under by written content, and storytelling is king. Your story must arrest the attention of a world already focused on a competing story.

How will your story be heard amidst all the noise? You’ve got to ride a horse into the middle of their movie.

To stand out, your story needs three elements:

Urgency

Call people to act now.

Remember the Law of Inertia? A body at rest will remain at rest; a body in motion will remain in motion. Your readers are at rest, and delay is comfortable. Don’t let them stay passive.

Urgency is especially important when writing fundraising letters. If you’re writing an appeal about a child who needs eye surgery or he’ll lose his sight, that’s not a good time to let your prospective donor delay. If what you wrote is true, your readers need to act now.

Make your prospect feel like they’re in a crowded theater with a wild horse. Act now, or get trampled.

Involvement

Ultramodern companies are using gamification as advertising. Why? Because people want to feel involved in what they buy or give to.

If you can make your copy fun and engaging, do it. A sense of play will lower people’s natural defenses. That’s why sales pieces often include chachki in the envelope. Your game or chachki should be logically connected to your copy’s message, though.

In some cases, you’ll have no control over the pieces in your package except the copy. In that event, make sure the copy engages readers. Make them feel like they’re right there, players in the story themselves.

The people in the movie theater that day went from watching people wrangle a horse on the screen to actually wrangling one themselves. Which made a more powerful impact?

Surprise

If your readers can guess every turn, every bridge, every swamp, and every stop on the way to the predictable end, your story is boring. Surprise them! Let them watch a jerky black-and-white Western for a few minutes before you ride a real horse into the middle of the theater.

As I said in an earlier piece, fiction and copywriting have a lot in common. Both require a plot full of twists and turns that leads to a satisfying but not predictable ending. Don’t bore your reader.

Want your copy to stand out in a sea of stories. Include urgency, involvement, and surprise. A stolen horse probably doesn’t hurt either.

What are some of your tips for writing copy people will remember?

Holland Webb: I love telling the stories that people put down so they go take action. I’m an advertising copywriter by day, an aspiring novelist by night, a parent, a dog-lover, a prison volunteer and a follower of Jesus.