Rhyme Time

‘Twas the evening before Christmas, and through the entire shack

Not a soul moved, especially tiny rat.

If Clement C. Moore had written like that, I’m pretty sure the story would have died and we’d never all cherish that fabulous story that he imagined. The above is why editors and agents cringe when they receive children’s stories written in rhyme. Some publishing houses refuse to even look at manuscripts submitted in rhyme because so many people get it wrong and rhyme written wrong is just plain painful.

So, what is the magic in Clement C Moore’s writing? What is the charm in his rhyme that kept the story alive and thriving all through the years? What can we learn from his writing to mimic in ours to write in beautiful rhyme?

“Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a Creature was stirring not even a mouse.”

Ahh, much better. He wrote in perfect rhyme and perfect meter and perfect rhythm.

First he used perfect rhyme. Every time. Shack and rat are close to rhyming as they have the same vowel sound, but we should try to make a perfect rhyme especially when writing for children. Imperfect rhymes send mixed messages to children about what rhymes are. Some words look like they should rhyme: pain and again. Word and Lord. They don’t. Strive for perfection in your rhymes.

Try to find different words to rhyme. Clement C. Moore rhymed clatter and matter, flash and sash, foot and soot, teeth and wreath. He stepped away from the hum drum of the normally rhymed words.

Secondly, he used perfect meter. In the opening stanza, there is no meter. Accents on words fall all over the place. It is difficult to read. However, Moore places 12-13 syllables in each line and rhymes the last words. His accents fall consistently on every third syllable making it a joy to read. Everybody reads it the same. Every time. We don’t have to figure out how to read it correctly. It just happens.

We don’t have to use his meter in our writing. There are tons of different meters. Pick another, make up your own, but be consistent.

I love the 8/6/8/6 lines with 8 syllables in the first and third lines and six in the rhyming second and fourth lines. I have found that the accents fall naturally on every fifth syllable. So that’s what I strive for in this type of story.

If Jesus came to visit me

I know just what I’d do.

I’d wrap my arms around him tight

And say I’m glad it’s you.

Find one that works for you and play with it.

The reader will figure out the meter in the first verse and will come to expect the same meter throughout the story, so stay consistent. Play with your words to find the ones that have accents in the right places.

“The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow gave a luster of midday to objects below.”

Don’t you know he must have played with those words and plugged in numerous words until he obtained the flow and meter that he wanted? Luster may not have been his first choice in words, but glow or gleam would throw off the meter. This is the fun of writing – finding the perfect words.

Finally he wrote in perfect rhythm. This is a combination of perfect rhyme and perfect meter that evokes natural speech. Don’t force words to make a rhyme. Don’t use ‘Sally did run’, to make a rhyme with sun. Nobody talks like that. Sally ran. Don’t rhyme it with sun. Find another word to rhyme with ran. Be creative. Play with words. It all works together to form verse in beautiful rhythm.

If it’s too painful to play with the words to make it beautiful then write in prose. Children need all kinds of books, but if rhyme comes naturally to you then strive to make it perfect!

Please spend lots of time in writing your rhyme.

So that your book soars, like Clement C. Moore’s.