Tag: comparison

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Guest Posts

The Comparison Trap: Eight Ways to Avoid It

Sometimes I look at the work of other authors and feel my abilities fall short. It doesn’t matter that God’s call is unmistakable, it’s still too easy to wonder if he can really use what I do. But it doesn’t matter if I am not as talented, or intelligent, or educated as other writers. God wants me to use what he’s given me for his purposes and the blessing of others.

Since you might struggle like I do, I’d like to share some steps you can take to avoid becoming ensnared by the dreaded comparison trap. 

Just Show Up: You win half the battle when you just sit yourself down before your computer or pad and pencil. “Lord, help me here. I feel dry and dull and I don’t know how to do this.” Then just dive in and start writing, no matter how terrible your efforts seem. The enemy of your soul likes nothing better than to discourage you and “just showing up” is an act of spiritual warfare.

Practice gratitude: The Lord is good and gives so many good things. Gratitude shifts your focus from the gift to the giver and opens your heart to receive more from him. Thank him for the gift he’s given you, for what he helps you to write, and the results that come from it. Gratitude is an act of worship. And just as importantly, thank the Lord for those other authors and what he’s given them.

Adjust your focus: It’s not about you. Keep your eyes on the Lord. If you worry about what you can produce, if you can impress, if people will like you or read what you’ve written, you’ve fallen into the pride trap. With a humble heart, offer up your gift and efforts to God, eager to see what he will do with them. 

Examine Your Priorities: What’s important to you will drive your life and your writing and decide their final outcomes. Success as a Christians writer depends on your greatest priority: intimate relationship and fellowship with your heavenly Father. That’s when the rivers of living water that Jesus promised can flow out of you through your writing to the spiritually thirsty. 

Look at the heart: As human beings, we are drawn to the outward appearance. It’s not about if you write as well as the next person but if your heart is lined up with God and his purposes. It’s when you are worried about producing or performing, trying to measure up, or “meet your quota” that writer’s block attacks.

Relinquish control and trust God: Your talents were never yours to begin with, so turn over the controls. God wants to use you and your writing to expand his kingdom. Ask him who your target audience should be and what and how he wants you to write to them. As you write with his help, ask the Holy Spirit to minister to the hearts of your readers. He can take just a few sentences from your article or a paragraph from your book and use it to change a life that will then touch others and echo through eternity.

Refine and grow your skills: Although it’s not about how talented or smart you are, working towards improving your skills is a necessity. Studies show it takes at least 10,000 hours of doing something to master it. Read books on writing, attend seminars and conferences, complete writing exercises designed to develop your proficiency. Network with and learn from other writers with more experience. Study the classics and see how those authors did it. 

Never give up: Someone once said that the one way to ensure something never happens is to give up. You are employing your talents for the Lord and for his kingdom, and he calls you to faithfulness. He never gives up on you so don’t you quit either. 

This is not about competition, about seeing who can be the most successful or productive. That’s the world’s mindset. It’s about joyfully working together to bring God glory. Falling prey to the comparison trap hinders your own creativity. But remembering it’s all about God and the needs of others will free you to be all he meant you to be as an individual and as an artist.

Cheryl Weber is located in beautiful Lancaster County PA and enjoys writing fiction, devotionals, and the occasional humor piece. She has ministered in a dozen different nations in missions and as staff of the School of Writing with Youth With a Mission. In the fall of 2017, she served as a journalist for a medical team working with YWAM Ship’s ministry in Papua New Guinea. Just a few of her stories from that trip can be found on her website at:  https://cheryllynneweber.com/cheryls-recent-adventures/

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Mastering Middle Grade

My Fifth Anniversary

As an adult, writing has been a mainstay of my professional career. I majored in journalism, interned at newspapers, worked at magazines and television stations, then migrated to marketing and freelance copywriting. For twenty-plus years, I’ve used words to persuade someone to do or buy something.

I enjoyed writing, I felt competent, but something was missing. If it weren’t for the occasional journal entry or poem I drafted here and there, my relationship with writing was transaction-based. I wrote. I revised. I collected a paycheck.

Even though I was always happy and thankful about my ability to write as part of my day job, something was missing. I felt restless and frustrated. I had ideas and characters in my head who wanted to play, but there was no room in my day job for them.

I kept on writing website copy, marketing presentations, or ghostwriting blog posts. One night, after everybody was tucked in and asleep, I started writing a story. Nobody was paying me to write it. There was no deadline attached to it. It was a creation of my own with no other purpose but to enjoy the discipline and freedom of writing.

Now it’s March 2020. Although I haven’t yet sold that first manuscript, I’ve finished a couple of others since then. I know I still have much to learn, but here are a few things I wish I’d known five years ago.

1) Critique groups are crucial. 

In my corporate and freelance world, I “routed” copy to other team members to make sure it was factually accurate and error-free. Even though it was time consuming and occasionally painful, receiving feedback made my writing stronger. For the life of me I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me to do that with my first manuscript.

I entered my first writing competition in March 2015 with a rough draft. My first manuscript didn’t get seen by another living soul until I met my first critique group at the SCBWI conference later that year. Until that conference, I’d never heard of critique groups. Now I can’t live without them. Like the “routing” teams in my past 9-5 life, critique groups exist to make the work better. They bring fresh eyes and perspective and catch things I would have otherwise missed.

2) Critique groups are not interested in stealing your work.

Tell a non-writer about your critique group and they’ll probably ask you if you’re afraid someone will steal your idea. Take comfort in this knowledge: Writers in a critique group understand what being a writer is about. They know how hard it is to write. They want to see you succeed – not plagiarize from you.

3) Comparing yourself to other writers is a waste of time and energy.

Over the past five years, I’ve met all kinds of writers. They each have a different story to tell about their path to publication. Some publication stories are dreamy, some are fraught with obstacle after obstacle. Other stories are relatively short and sweet. Nobody else’s publication story will be exactly like yours. Mine is a work in progress, and not only am I okay with that, I’m excited about it. My journey is as unique as I am. Yours will be as unique as you are. There’s room for all of us. Embrace that and don’t worry about what other writers are doing.

What I love most about this writing life is the opportunity to learn from and connect with other writers. I’d love to learn from you too! Introduce yourself in the comments below or on Instagram at @klmckinneywrites.

Kell McKinney earned a B.A. in journalism from the University of Oklahoma and an M.S. in documentary studies from the University of North Texas. She’s a part-time copywriter, double-time mom and wife, and spends every free minute writing and/or hunting for her car keys. Connect with her on Twitter @Kell_McK or kellmckinney.com.

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Embrace the Wait

Survival Tips for the Waiting Part of Writing, Tip #9 – Avoid Comparison

There’s nothing quite like a perfectly ripened pear. Each creamy, sweet, citrusy bite contains the perfect texture and flavor to tantalize my taste buds. Pears are such a treat to me that I’ll sometimes splurge and order the gold wrapped, ridiculously priced ones from a trendy fruit supplier. When they arrive I horde them and refuse to share one bite. I can always justify this selfish behavior because my hubby is not a fan of pears and my kids don’t appreciate the quality.

One day I had just bitten into the most delectable pear ever when I received a phone call from a friend. I set the fruit aside to focus on the conversation. During the call my daughter tapped me on the shoulder and mouthed, “try these.” I absentmindedly took a handful of tropical flavored gummy bears from her bag and nibbled on them as I listened to my friend vent about a family situation. After our conversation ended, I retrieved my pear to enjoy the last few bites. But it wasn’t the same. The pear didn’t taste sweet, and the creamy citrus flavor I had always adored seemed lacking. Not wanting to waste the fruit, I managed to gulp the last few bites, but there was little pleasure in it. The sticky, artificial sweetness of the gummy bears had coated my tongue and robbed my senses of the true, natural sweetness of the pear.

I have found the same phenomena to be true when we compare ourselves with others. The sweet and unique gifts God gives to us never seem as pleasurable when we allow ourselves to fall into the trap of comparison. In our social media inundated world it’s easier than ever to venture down that slippery slope. Every day we scroll past dozens of posts depicting the peak experiences, precious moments, and noteworthy achievements of our closest and not-so-closest friends. Yes, most of us are aware that these highlight reels represent a tiny glimpse of a sometimes purposefully skewed reality. But it’s oh so easy to be sucked into the trap of using those distorted picture-perfect clips as a measuring stick to determine our own worth.  

God recognizes our old nature propensity to play the comparison game. Scripture offers plenty of warnings against it, but even Christian writers aren’t exempt from the temptation to compare. In fact, we may be more susceptible. While waiting for our own victories in the publishing world social media allows us to celebrate with fellow writers who may get their big break first. Every day awards are won, contracts signed, and agents are landed. Even though we are truly happy for our friends’ success and show it by littering their wall with gifs, and emojis there’s still that temptation to subtly compare. Only when we keep our eyes on the Author and Finisher of our faith can we find true fulfillment in the gifts and journey He has created especially for us.         

Scripture: 2 Corinthians 10:12, Galatians 6:4-5

Fun Fact: Michelle Medlock Adams and Bethany Jett have a new book out that has an excellent chapter on this topic. The book is titled Platinum Faith. And it is amazing! Check it out on Amazon.

Annette Marie Griffin is a award-winning writer who speaks at local women’s group meetings and women’s retreats on the topic of biblical womanhood and finding our identity in Christ. She is the Operations and Events Coordinator at a private school for special needs students and is the editor of their quarterly newsletter. She has written custom curriculum for women’s retreats and children’s church curriculum for Gateway Church in San Antonio, Texas where she served as Children’s Ministry Director and Family Program Director for over twenty years. She and her husband John have five amazing children and two adorable grands. She’s a member of Word Weavers International, ACFW, SCBWI, and serves on the Board of Directors for The Creative Writing Institute.

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Blogging Basics

Three Problems With Comparison for New Bloggers

Particularly for new writers beginning the blogging journey, comparison can kill confidence and create problems.

New bloggers often struggle with comparison, much like my youngest child who said, “I’m a slow runner. I don’t want to play soccer.” When I asked her why she thought she was a slow runner, she mentioned how much faster her older brother and sister ran. She struggled with confidence, not realizing she was unfairly comparing herself to her older siblings. She couldn’t see this was not a realistic comparison. Bloggers often struggle with comparison creating problems with confidence and negative thinking.

Comparison Creates Competition

Resist the scarcity lie that the success of others crowds out your own opportunity.

Comparison can cause significant set-backs when it comes to writing. All too easily, it can create competition when we allow the success of another to diminish our writing or sabotage our confidence. Choose to celebrate the achievements of others. Learn from their skill and experience.

New bloggers, blogging, writing, comparison, problems of comparison

Comparison Breeds Negative Thinking

Comparison opens the door to the problem of negative thinking. Comparative thinking leads to other forms of negativity—pride, envy, jealousy, resentment, discouragement, and criticism.  What can begin as comparison and negative feelings can quickly ignite destructive thoughts and actions.

For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. James 3:16

Comparison Demotivates Passion

Comparison can stifle passion to fulfill the writing desires God places in our hearts.

Have you ever compared yourself with a more experienced writer and thought, “Why bother…I’ll never be as good as ________.” The power to demotivate passion is one of the greatest problems of comparison.

Resist the temptation to measure the gap between where you are and where someone else is. We often see this gap as a diminishing, devaluing thing rather than embracing the growth process of our own writing.

Problems of comparison, blogging, writing, new bloggers

I have hung over the edge of motivation, wanting to quit because the journey to “success” is steep and difficult. Maybe you have too. Comparison saps passion and energy when we forget that God is with us in the process.

[bctt tweet=”Distracting us from God’s call and purpose, comparison makes the process about personal success rather than obedience to God’s call to write.”]

Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life. Galatians 6:4-5 MSG

Choose to celebrate and learn from successful and experience writers, rather than give into comparison. Give yourself permission to grow through the process and develop skill at the pace that is right for you. 

Don’t let comparison rob you of confidence and joy in writing. [bctt tweet=”Comparison is a choice you don’t have to make. “]

At the end of it all, comparison asks the wrong question.

The right question is this: what does God want to do through my writing?

Categories
Polishing Your Message

Building Bridges With Transitions

Transitions are an important element in our writing. Without them a paragraph can sometimes feel like we are reading a grocery list. The sentences seem choppy feeling like we are jumping from one thought to another.

I like to tell my students to think of transitions as bridges. They help connect the writer’s thoughts and allow the reader to easily follow and comprehend the message. Without them, the reader may have to work harder to concentrate and associate the unwritten connections. (Do remember, as writers, it is our job to make reading easy for our audience.) In addition, transitions will polish our writing and help us not lose our readers as we deliver our message.

As mentioned, I think of transitional devices as bridges, which brings to mind many different types of bridges: short bridges, long bridges, covered bridges, weak bridges,  and sturdy steel bridges. Without them, we cannot get to the other side, which is often where we are trying to take our readers. Equally, many different types of transitions are available as tools to help move our thoughts along. These transitions can be short using one word, long using phrases, weak by choosing wrong words, and sturdy dependable transitions like the list below.   These bridges can transport readers past years in time with a few little words. For example: “Six years later. . . .” Or maybe we skip to the next thought using words like ” first, next,” and “finally.” Choosing the best transitional device takes practice and a good ear, so be sure to read the text aloud and listen to hear if it connects your thoughts smoothly.

The different transitional devices and phrases will lead the reader in a variety of directions.   See below a list of common transitions and their purposes.  Many list are available online (see above link) and handy tools to have available.   

  • Addition or Sequences – also, besides, finally, first, furthermore, in addition
  • Comparison – also, similarly, in the same way, likewise
  • Contrast – even so, however, in contrast, still, otherwise, nevertheless
  • Examples – for example, for instance, that is
  • Emphasis – Indeed, in fact, of course
  • Place – below, elsewhere, nearby, to the east
  • Repetition or Summary – in brief, in other words, in short, in summary
  • Cause and Effect – as a result, consequently, hence, therefore, thus
  • Time Sequence- Eventually, finally, meanwhile, next, once, then, today, now

[bctt tweet=”Common transitions and their purposes”]

In a similar manner, life also offers us many transitions. I recently experienced a major life transition (which is why my posts are void a couple expected blogs). On July 15, 2015, I had no idea what my immediate or long term future held. I didn’t know my future job or expected resources. My youngest was leaving the nest and starting college. Thus, I was unsure of my future purpose and direction. Nevertheless, by August 15, 2015, God had moved me to Savannah, moved me from a three bedroom home with a garage to a one bedroom condo, moved me into a new job, and made me an official Empty Nester all in one week. How is that for godly transitions? He built a bridge in 30 days which was easy to follow and easy to comprehend knowing His hand was in every aspect of my life transition.

As a result, I think God often likes to show off in how he makes a transition come about. During that month, He sure showed off to me. He had me laughing, praising, and full of joy as he provided  encouraging Christian shoppers at three yard sales to downsize. The sales alone were fun, joyful, and full of good wishes and prayers for my future from strangers. Next, He led me to the perfect condo close to the beach, and He provided kind people to help me move. (Living near the beach has been a desire for many years, but I expected it would not be reality until much later in life . . . Thank you Lord!) He opened a door to teach in a Christian environment, and as always, He provided the resources needed perfectly. This bridge to my next season in life was joyful, easy to cross, and covered with his protection all the way.

Meanwhile, my long term future is still unknown now living as an Empty  Nester  enjoying Fridays spent reading, writing, and biking.  As an adjunct instructor, for me my semesters are also my bridges. I know not where the end of this one will lead, and I do not worry. He has provided all I need for this semester. So although I am single, I am not alone. Today, January 15, 2016, I am here Lord, ready to cross the next bridge with you.

PS. When I wrote my bio 6 months ago, I never dreamed I would be living near the beach within 30 days. God is good. (Imagine big smile here.)

So, what life transitions has God used to show off in your world lately?

[bctt tweet=”What life transitions has God used to show off in your world lately?”]

Sources: Quick Access: Reference for Writers 7th ed.  Lynn Q Troyka and Douglas Hessee (65)

 

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Blogging Basics

Three Ways Comparison Can Kill Your Blogging Confidence

Blogging requires a balanced combination of vision, passion, craft, and energy. Comparison can quickly squelch your energy and derail your passion for writing. Whether you are new to blogging or a seasoned pro, comparison can kill your blogging confidence.

One of the great temptations for writers and bloggers involves the trap of comparison. We constantly see the success of other writers through social media, conferences, and networks. Traffic stats and social media engagement are inescapable even when you try to ignore them. Comparison can creep into your thoughts in many different forms.

For me, one of the greatest challenges in blogging has been learning craft and building a following without falling into the pit of comparison. When I read a great post and see high stats of likes and shares, I often compare my writing and engagement. I can leave the website feeling discouraged rather than benefitting from the great content I’ve just read. When this happens, my thoughts are about me rather than appreciating the gifts and skills of the other person.

Have you struggled with the problem of comparison in your writing?

Three Ways Comparison can kill your blogging confidence:

Comparison Drowns Creativity

Creativity thrives on being different and original. When we compare our content to other writers, it can be easy to try to emulate what works for someone else.

The blogging world is enamored with How-to content and numbered lists. Most of this is aimed at increasing reach, but it can also kill creativity. One look at Pinterest demonstrates this point. Most pins of blog posts now use successful formulas for titles. Success is great, but now too many blog posts look and sound the same. I’ve followed the formulas and written much of this kind of content. This post is a numbered list because it was a clear way to communicate my message.

The artist in me rebels as creativity bows to comparison and the desire to be as successful as others. The key here is balance. Don’t disdain formats that work, but be creative and personable with in the template. Also, write a variety of content that doesn’t adhere to formulaic structure.

[bctt tweet=”Is copying the new creativity?”]

Comparison Fuels Discouragement

Comparison fuels discouragement much like throwing gasoline on a fire. It can ignite quickly and be very destructive.

Recently I was thrilled to have a post featured on the popular devotional site, (in)courage. Like it or not, the social media stats are prominently displayed. You can’t not look at them.

My joy deflated as I realized the stats were not anywhere close to the regular bloggers on the site. It was hard not to receive that as a message that my writing wasn’t as good as others. For a short time, I let comparison steal the delight of success in posting on an well-known website. Rather than growing in confidence, I struggled with discouragement because my post didn’t draw the same amount of engagement as others.

Believe me, comparison is a nasty friend.

Comparison Feeds Pride

Comparison is also a fickle friend. When we are on the short end of comparison, we can wallow in “Not Good Enough” thinking. However, if we rate our work or performance higher than others, we can teeter into the “Better Than” territory of pride. Pride can create divisions and puff up egos, as well as spark criticism. Pride can kill confidence from the other direction, prideful thinking is just as destructive to confidence in that it warps a realistic perception of ourselves.

This verse from the message motivates me to avoid comparison:

That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original. Galatians 5:26 MSG

Particularly for new writers beginning the blogging journey, comparison can kill confidence. Choose to celebrate and learn from successful and experience writers, rather than give into comparison. Give yourself permission to grow through the process and develop skill at the pace that is right for you.

Categories
Write Justified

Life is Like…

Rhetorical questions don’t require (or deserve) an answer. Do they?

But how about those rhetorical devices—those figures of speech that bring our writing to life. They are the spice of the English language that engage readers, tickle the taste buds of their imagination, and persuade.

Over my next few posts I’ll be covering the familiar and not-so-familiar rhetorical devices that pepper good writing. There’s even a few that you’ve probably encountered, but didn’t recognize as rhetorical devices and very likely are not familiar with their names.

Comparison is a favorite rhetorical device and it comes in at least three forms:

·         Simile compares one object to another. It generally uses like or as. Like for noun comparisons; as for verb comparisons.

Gramma’s hands shook like a fluttering leaf as she opened the long-awaited package. (noun hands compared to noun leaf)

A smile spread across her face as slowly as honey dripping from a jar. (verb spread compared to dripping)

 ·         Analogy is a useful way to compare a difficult or abstract concept with something more familiar or concrete. Simile and analogy may overlap, but a simile is generally more creative, used primarily for emphasis or effect. Analogy fills a more functional role, often explaining an abstract concept in concrete terms, and thus is often more extended.

Forest Gump’s analogy comparing life to a box of chocolates gives us a great visual for a complex concept. Who hasn’t surveyed a Whitman’s sampler, studied the inside cover to determine which foil-covered confection satisfies their sweet tooth only to discover that what you thought was a chocolate covered caramel was really a chocolate covered cherry. Yeah, life is like that. You can’t always tell how something is going to turn out by appearances.

·         Metaphor compares two different things by stating that something is something else—without the use of like or as. Often you can spot a metaphor by the to be verb.

 The late summer thunderstorm was a snarling, angry dog, grabbing its victims in its teeth, shaking them violently before losing interest and moving on to the next county.

 Or this line from Shakespeare: The eyes are the window of the soul.
The Bard uses familiar objects—eyes and windows—to say that the eyes are to the soul as windows are to a house. I see what’s really inside a person—their feelings, passion—when I look into their eyes.

You see what these comparisons are doing? They are giving the reader a visual, playing into their imagination. And giving your reader fresh imagery or a new perspective makes your writing more memorable and persuasive.

A word or two of caution. Be careful about overusing these figures of speech or mixing metaphors. I think you’ll get the point from these illustrations, drawn supposedly from actual student papers.

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just
before it throws up.

Her pants fit her like a glove, well, maybe more like a mitten, actually. (This one also should be a warning to avoid clichés.)

She was a couch potato in the gravy boat of life, flopping dejectedly on the sofa. –

 Here’s a tip: if a metaphor makes you snort, you should probably reconsider and rewrite.

You can find more humorous figures of speech at: https://writingenglish.wordpress.com/2006/09/12/the-25-funniest-analogies-collected-by-high-school-english-teachers/

Categories
A Pinch of Poetry

5 Tips to Jump-Start a Poem

Have you ever struggled with blank page disorder?  I have.  Most writers face this issue at one time or another.

Sometimes we just need a little inspiration.  Here are five tips you can use to jump-start a poem today.

Find a spot where you can sit and observe. Observation is an effective tool for any writer. You might want to visit a coffee shop and listen to the conversations stirring around you. Or you may need to find a quiet place outside to experience nature. Regardless of where you choose to observe, be sure to find a place that will take you away from your normal routine. Take notes on everything you observe in that location, using all five senses.

Skim the recent news headlines for anything that catches your attention. Scientific discoveries, world news, and even weather reports can inspire a poet. Look for extreme events, rare occurrences, strange happenings, or moving stories that capture some unique aspect of life. Skim the article(s) for key words about the subject and then add a few of your own thoughts.

[bctt tweet=”Find inspiration for poetry everywhere–the news, Facebook, or your local coffee shop. #poetry #writing “]

Check your social networks for interesting conversations. Find a news topic or conversation that strikes your interest. Write down key words, phrases, descriptions, images, and personality traits that you observe through the interactions. Next, start writing a poem in response to that topic or conversation. For example, you could begin with “So, you went to Hawaii for a vacation…” Continue writing in a voice that is commenting on or responding to whatever people are discussing on the social network.

Try to find an unlikely comparison, also known as metaphor. If you already have an idea in mind, write down everything you can about the subject of the poem. Then think of a concrete object (one that appeals to your five senses) that is dissimilar to your subject. Write down attributes of the differing object. Once you have all of the ideas out on the page, look for connections. Is there a way to describe your subject as if it were the other object? I recently wrote a poem where I compared automobiles to snail shells—two very unlike items until you are caught in horrendous 5:00 traffic on your way home.

Get in touch with your emotions. Over the past week, have you experienced any joy? Or maybe you encountered someone who angered you. Capture the details of your experience on paper and either write about it or focus on how the emotion affected you most. For example, if you had a fearful moment, describe what fear did to you. Was it like a monster ripping you to shreds, or was it more like a cockroach scuttling about your feet? When you use personification or metaphor to characterize emotions, they become very powerful characters in poetry.

Now it’s time to get writing.  After you take notes, simply start writing on that white page.  I know it’s difficult, but once you start writing the poem out, it will begin to take form.

[bctt tweet=”Combat blank page disorder with 5 Tips to Jump-Start A Poem.  #poetry  #writertips”]

Do you have any other creative tips to jump-start poetry that you can share? I’d love to hear them below.