Categories
The Intentional Writer

Common Writer Questions: How to Convey Accents

“How do I write dialogue to show an accent or dialect?”

I’ve often heard this question discussed at writing workshops. It’s a good question. As we writers imagine our characters, some of them will have an accent, or will speak in a particular dialect. Naturally, we want our readers to hear those accents. But how does one accomplish that?

While there is not a single right answer to the question, here are my suggestions, based on listening to many discussions of this topic by various industry pros.

First of all, remember that fictional dialogue is not court stenography. A novel’s dialogue should not be an exact copy of real speech. Writers edit out all the ums, you knows, and random chattiness that crop up in actual conversations to craft dialogue that keeps the plot moving.

In similar fashion, writers should not attempt to copy the exact accent of each speaker. The goal is verisimilitude, not exactitude—creating the flavor and essence of the speaker rather than providing a syllable-for-syllable duplicate.

Factors to consider when conveying accents

  • Clarity first! A writer’s primary purpose is to get the story across. The dialogue should help rather than hider that goal. It’s normally better to choose simple, readable English over foreign words, unfamiliar slang, or phonetically rendered accents. Crammink ow-er dee-alokh weeth strenj spellinks… (I think you get the idea).
  • Don’t jolt the reader out of the story. Every time a reader stumbles over a word or has to reread a sentence that didn’t make sense, they have been jolted from the flow of the story. We writers don’t want this to happen! For example, consider this bit of dialogue: “Did he axe you for help?” Huh? What does that mean? The writer may have been trying to show a New Jersey accent, but for any reader not familiar with the accent quirk that turns ask to axe, the sentence is either nonsense, or looks like it contains a typo.
  • Use a light hand. When you do include dialect, slang, or accents, do so sparingly. Think of it like a sprinkle of black pepper. You want just enough to enhance the flavor without overpowering everything.
  • Don’t stereotype. If your character speaks with a dialect that you are only marginally familiar with, do your research. We don’t want to be lazy writers who stoop to using cheesy imitations of a dialect. Actual speakers of a language or dialect will easily spot a fake and call us out.
  • Don’t show off. Perhaps you’ve done tons of research into the history of your setting and compiled a whole list of archaic words. Great, but before using all those funny words, remember you are writing fiction, not a scholarly tome. You don’t need to impress anyone with your knowledge. Therefore, consider which terms are essential to your plot and skip the rest. Readers want to enjoy a good story, not stop every other page to look up yet another word they don’t know.    

Better techniques for conveying accents

Experienced writers come up with many creative ways to help readers hear the accents of their characters without forcing the characters to speak in phonetic accents or unfamiliar grammar. Here are four ideas:

  • Sometimes playing with word order is enough to suggest an accent. You could be using this technique to show a character is Irish, don’t you know? Or, something as simple as switching adjectives can make a sentence sound slightly foreign. For example, “I met him at the red, small house with the shaggy, big dog in the front lawn.
  • You could allow characters whose first language isn’t English to misquote or misunderstand common idioms. This can be used to great comic effect, when appropriate. (Think Agatha Christie’s Poirot.)
  • Adding a few recognizable words or phrases—gut, nyet, si, lass and laddie—can show a reader that this character speaks with particular accent. If you clue them in the very first time the character speaks, then you can allow the reader to fill the rest of the accent in themselves.
  • Another option is to show the accent through the POV of a different character. If the POV character has trouble understanding something another character says or thinks to himself about how the person’s speech sounds unusual, you have shown the reader the accent. The reader will hear that character’s speech the same way the POV character does.

While writers differ on their specific preferences when it comes to conveying accents, these tips should help you find a balance that pleases editors and readers alike.

Lisa E Betz

An engineer-turned-mystery-writer, Lisa E. Betz infuses her novels with authentic characters who thrive on solving tricky problems. Her debut novel, Death and a Crocodile, won several awards, including the Golden Scroll Novel of the Year (2021). Lisa combines her love of research with her quirky imagination to bring the world of the early church to life. She and her husband reside outside Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, with Scallywag, their rambunctious cat—the inspiration for Nemesis, resident mischief maker in the Livia Aemilia Mysteries. Lisa directs church dramas, eats too much chocolate, and experiments with ancient Roman recipes.

Categories
Mastering Middle Grade

Write Like a Kid

When your critique partners tell you (more than once) your middle grade fiction sounds too adult, how do you fix it?

That depends on what kind of problem it is. If it’s the content that’s too adult, I talk about that in another post.

What I want to talk about today is the voice. How do we, adult authors-in-progress, write with a kid’s voice?

We’ve lived a few miles since we were middle grade readers. So it’s impossible to actually write as though we’re kids. Or is it?

Getting the voice right takes time, patience, practice, and a lot of editing. I haven’t fully cracked this code in my own writing, believe me, but I’ve read enough great middle grade voices to know it can be done.

Here’s what I’ve noticed about some of my favorite middle grade voices:

1) They are borne from a well-developed character or characters.

Imagine any of your favorite middle grade stories told by, well, anybody else. For example, could the opening paragraphs of RJ Palacio’s Wonder be as revealing and compelling if it were written from Auggie’s mother’s point of view? For example:

My name is August, by the way. I won’t describe what I look like. Whatever you’re thinking, it’s probably worse. –Wonder, by RJ Palacio.

Understanding how your characters view themselves, how they think, behave, dream, relate to the world around them, is so important. When you know who they are, you can decide the best words to use to reveal them on the page.

2) They don’t explain the jokes.

Humor is subjective, for sure, but as in real life, if you have to explain the joke, you’re probably telling it wrong. Doreen Cronin employs a delightfully dry humor to acquaint us with the main characters in her early middle grade book The Trouble With Chickens: A J.J. Tully Story, and in the process establishes a fabulously strong voice.

Her name was Millicent. I called her Moosh, just because it was easier to say and it seemed to annoy her. She had two little puffy chicks with her. She called them Little Boo and Peep. I called them Dirt and Sugar, for no particular reason.

If Doreen had added a few sentences that explained why calling the chickens by the wrong name was funny, would it have been as funny? More importantly, would we have learned as much about the character of our narrator, J.J. Tully?

3) They don’t underestimate the reader.

Middle grade readers are dependent upon adults for their well-being, so they seek stories in which the protagonist child is self-sufficient enough to solve their own problems with minimal adult help. In Sharon Draper’s middle grade story Out of My Mind, not only is the protagonist a child, she has cerebral palsy, confined to a wheelchair, and is unable to speak. Through use of voice, Draper skillfully crafts a complete, complex character whose coming of age tale is both triumphant and heartbreaking.

Everybody uses words to express themselves. Except me. And I bet most people don’t realize the real power of words. But I do. Thoughts need words. Words need a voice. I love the smell of my mother’s hair after she washes it. I love the feel of the scratchy stubble on my father’s face before he shaves. But I’ve never been able to tell them.

Draper’s unflinching look at the inner life and challenges of a differently-abled child doesn’t talk down to the reader in any way. She starts from a place that assumes readers are capable of empathy and connection.

These are just a few things I’ve learned from reading and writing middle grade, and I know I have miles to go. What are some techniques you’ve noticed in other middle grade authors’ work? Let me know in the comments.

Kell McKinney earned a B.A. in journalism from the University of Oklahoma and an M.S. in documentary studies from the University of North Texas. She’s a part-time copywriter, double-time mom and wife, and spends every free minute writing and/or hunting for her car keys. Connect with her on Twitter @Kell_McK or kellmckinney.com.

Categories
Courting the Muse

When Watching TV Doesn’t Mean Procrastinating on Your Manuscript

During my last semester of undergrad, I spent a lot of time watching 30 Rock.

Like many graduating seniors, I suffered from a mild-to-moderate case of senioritis: a heaviness that periodically gripped my limbs at the very thought of academic work. But the time I spent riveted on Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin as they traded repartees? That didn’t count as a symptom. My steady diet of sitcom wit wasn’t procrastination — it was research.

That was the semester I signed up for a workshop on literary translation, taught by a celebrated translator of Hebrew and Arabic. Over the course of fifteen weeks, the class chipped away at individual projects, wrestling with texts in languages that — for the most part — neither our classmates nor our professor could understand. Then we’d read each other’s work as a group. As the term wore on, we sampled a dizzying array of translations: Russian realism, Greek philosophy and, in my case, classical Chinese domestic farce.

Of course, we couldn’t offer notes on how accurately each translator treated the languages we didn’t know how to read. What we could critique was the quality of the English that came out the other side: the flow of the sentences, the music of the syllables, the feelings that arose as we read each line. That was when I realized literary translation was as much about writing as it was about understanding a text: it was creative, as well as critical, work.

Now, what exactly did translating classical Chinese have to do with 30 Rock? Not a lot at first, as you’d probably assumed. But that changed as the semester progressed and my project started to develop in a new direction. 

The piece I’d chosen to translate was earthy, irreverent, and dialogue-rich: lively with farcical liaisons, domestic squabbles, and pretentious characters who’d misquote the classics to justify their jealousy and lust. It was also literally full of holes — and not the plot variety. Part of a cache of excavated texts from the Western Han, the rhapsody dated back to the second century BC, and the bamboo it was inked on had been badly damaged, gnawed away by time. In the transcription I worked from, typed out by a Peking University professor, brackets and ellipses stood in where the original characters could no longer be read.

My first pass through this fragmentary text left me with a tortuous translation, pocked by footnotes and straining toward literalism. The other workshop participants gamely picked their way through the frustrated tangle of my English, asking insightful questions. But I could tell from their reactions: all I’d manage to get across was the text’s brokenness and difficulty, not the wit and soul that drew me to it in the first place.

So for my second draft, I decided to cut loose a little. Instead of bowing under the tyranny of the corrupt original, I’d turn this fragmentary story into a play, letting the sharp humor of the dialogue speak for itself. I wanted to spotlight what was still there, not the parts that were lost forever. 

When I told the workshop about this new approach, I couldn’t resist ending with a joke: “I’m thinking about watching a lot of sitcoms to make sure the dialogue sounds right.” But my classmates — and our professor — took me seriously, encouraging me to study TV writing as I learned to craft dialogue. So Liz Lemon and I started spending quite a bit of time together.

As it turns out, a tightly scripted sitcom really is a masterclass in writing conversations. Break it down, and you’ll learn more than the art of a snappy one-liner: you’ll get a sense of how to write dialogue that sounds natural without being pulled from real life, with all its pauses, mumbles, and wasted air. 

The next time you’re stuck on a bit of dialogue, try taking inspiration from your favorite Netflix show. Whether you’re writing a novel or turning a 2,000-year-old text into a play, the characters you’re trying to coax into conversation will thank you. Best of all, you’ll get to watch TV — guilt-free.

Lucia Tang is a writer for Reedsy, a marketplace that connects self-publishing authors with the book industry’s best editors, designers, and marketers. To work on the site’s free historical character name generators, she draws on her knowledge of Chinese, Latin, and Old Irish —  learned as a PhD candidate in history at UC Berkeley. You can read more of her work on the Reedsy Discovery blog, or follow her on Twitter at @lqtang.

Categories
Magazine and Freelance

Put Dialog on a diet

Like delicious desserts, dialog is often a reader’s favorite part of a story. We quote great dialog for generations.

            “Off with her head!” – Lewis Carroll.

            “We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.” – Winston Churchill.

            “There’s so much scope for imagination.” Lucy Maud Montgomery.

            “It’s me again, Hank the Cowdog.” John Erickson.

            “Give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s and to God what is God’s.” – Jesus Christ.

Dialog is what characters say. Powerful stories are dialog driven through carefully chosen word selections. When Scrooge responds to Christmas cheer with “Bah, humbug,” Charles Dickens has masterfully portrayed the old man’s attitude and character in two words.

Dialog has dynamic purpose in a manuscript. It economically accomplishes several vital objectives. Dialog must

  1. move the story forward. “There’s no place like home. ” This declaration tells the reader that Dorothy’s goal is to return to Kansas.
  2. reveal something important about the plot. “The priest told me they are married.” A single sentence provides a crucial plot point in Fiddler on the Roof without the use of an entire scene to show the same event. In dialog, information can be dropped like a surprise bomb. Readers read to be surprised.
  3. show something important about the character. “Go ahead. Make my day.” What a character says can show what the character is thinking, how the character responds, and illuminate the depth of the character’s motivation.
  4. give the character a unique voice. “I know hurryin’ is against your nature, but you might want to pick up the pace before that storm rolls in.” Vocabulary lets the reader know if the character is educated, gives clues to the region the character is from, and shows the character’s nature to be relaxed, tightly wound, worried, sly, or confident.

Put your dialog on a diet. Words that should not appear in dialog include:

Yeah

Okay

Hello

Good-bye

Oh

Well

Writers give the illusion of reality when crafting dialog. It is the juicy parts with the empty portions left out.

        She helped him sit up. “Are you okay?”

            He rubbed the goose egg on the back of his head. “Where is the phone?”

In this example, if the character answered the question – “Yeah, well, I think I’m okay,” – it would detract from the urgency of the situation. From the action of rubbing his head, we know the hero has a painful noggin. Because he ignores concerns about his health, the reader sees he is focused on what is more important. Show me or tell me, but don’t do both.

In the first draft, dialog may begin with “Hello,” “Oh,” or “Well,” “Yeah,” and end with ‘Good-bye,” but in the editing process, be sure to remove these unnecessary distractions. They are like empty calories in your work. Cream filled Twinkies to be eliminated. Then reread the conversations and see how concise it flows without the banned words weighing it down and sounding like the writer is a novice. With practice, you will no longer even write these twinkies into your diet for dynamic dialog.

History buff and island votary, PeggySue Wells skydives, scuba dives, parasails, and has taken (but not passed) pilot training. PeggySue is the bestselling author of 29 books including Homeless for the Holidays, The Girl Who Wore Freedom, and Chasing Sunrise. She is a member of Advanced Writers and Speakers Association, Christian Authors Network, Run Hard, Rest Well, advisory committee for the Taylor Writers Conference, and talk show host on Five Kyngdoms Radio. Connect with her at PeggySueWells.com, @PeggySue Wellslinkedin.com/in/peggysuewells, and facebook.com/peggysue.wells.

Categories
Guest Posts

He said, She said

Have you ever felt stuck using the same dialogue tags? It can creep in when we get comfortable with our writing. It’s the easy way to move on to the next character’s line of dialogue. But dialogue tags are a useful tool for writers to add imagery to their words. 

Take a simple group of sentences like these for example:

“Run,” she said.

“Where should I run?” he asked.

“To get help!” she exclaimed. 

Look familiar? We sometimes find this style of writing in young children’s books. As the writing level moves up, it’s appropriate to add more than simple tags to dialogue. It’s natural to get caught up in the action and forget to add the little flourishes our dialogue so greatly needs to enhance the scene. It’s effortless to hurry through dialogue with a simple “he said, she said.” But this is a missed opportunity to show more about your characters. 

For instance: “I’m alone and afraid,” she said, shivering.

What does that look like to the reader? How does the reader envision that sentence? We read what she says, but how does that look?

Let’s try that again.

“I’m alone and afraid.” Abigail rubbed the goosebumps on her arms. Her scalp prickled as she sat huddled in her bedroom closet with her cell phone to her ear.

This is a better visual of what Abigail is doing. We show the reader rather than tell them how she feels. It takes a bit more thought, but worth it to throw the reader right into that closet with Abigail.

Dialogue tags are a wonderful opportunity to show the reader what your character is doing rather than telling them. It’s also a great way to showcase your writing savvy.

 Readers often skip over dialogue tags like ‘said’, so they aren’t always necessary. If the dialogue is well written, readers will recognize the voice of their beloved characters before they read the dialogue tag. They aren’t needed for every sentence, so mix it up. Don’t slow down the reader’s pace with a needless ‘said’ or ‘asked’. 

How about the use of ‘exclaimed’? Let’s see how that looks:

“You’re stepping on my foot!” Jenny exclaimed.

This tells us the person is not happy having their foot stepped on. But what else is going on here? What if the author wrote it like this:

“You’re stepping on my foot.” Jenny’s face contorted as she tugged her shoe from under the elephant’s foot.”

Okay, an elephant is a bit extreme, but you get the idea. We can see how Jenny is upset without using a telling dialogue tag. 

Take advantage of dialogue tags as a chance to showcase a bit of your characters’ mannerisms. How about showing their physical attributes? Let’s take an example like this one:

“I don’t want to go to the doctor,” Jenny said.

Or could we toss in some description and say it this way:

“I don’t want to go to the doctor.” Jenny’s long, brown hair blew out the open window of the car as she clenched her teeth.

  These are alternative ways to show your readers rather than tell with creative dialogue tags. Have fun and spice up your writing with some action, description, and emotion.

Leann Austin has written over a hundred newspaper articles published in The Post-Journal and The Villager – Lakeside Edition. She’s also authored 16 stories for Primary Treasure magazine. She was the recipient of an honorable mention in Writer’s Digest 75th Annual Writing Competition. 

Leann blogs about her son’s journey with type one diabetes at leannaustin.blogspot.com. She also connects with her readers at her author page. Leann is a mother of four fabulous children and in her spare time she crochets newborn caps for the local hospital nursery.

Categories
Writing for YA

YA Slang in Writing

Every once in a while, on one of my writers’ lists or on facebook, someone will want to know what slang they should use in their young adult novel. My answer? None. Don’t do it. I think the exception is when you are trying to date your story. If you feel compelled to use slang for your story, consider keeping it to a minimum.

If you are writing a contemporary, by the time it gets on the shelves you can be sure new jargon will have replaced what was in vogue when you wrote it, assuming you could keep up with the ever-changing meaning of teen language while writing the book. Current lingo will likely be outdated before the first draft is finished.

You could invent your own vocabulary for your fictional world, though. I’ve seen this done quite well in many books. Kids do this is real life constantly. Within groups, teens make up their own private language, nicknames, and figures of speech unique to their crowd.

As an “old” person, I’m not aware of how widespread certain sayings are. At this moment as I am writing, in the small young adult circle I am familiar with, dishing out juicy gossip is known as “giving the tea.” For all I know, by the time this post goes up it will be out of fashion. I may not even be using this saying correctly, which is another pitfall when appropriating slang for a novel. It’s like the outdated youth worker trying to be “hip” with the kids.

I’ve been told words like awesome, cool, bummer, and totally are completely out, even though I’ve heard, or overhead, teens using them, and read them in books.

Will writing devoid of colloquialisms sound authentic? In any fiction, voice is what makes it authentic.

While it’s true kids have a few words they like to repeat in conversation, having dialogue in your story reflecting actual repetitive speech, or speech with slang can annoy the reader. We don’t write exactly the way we use language in our everyday lives. Writing an authentic character develops relatability with the reader. Peppering prose with the latest sayings may not do that.

Being cool happens the same way it always has. You’re only cool when you’re not trying to be.

Write realistic, well-rounded characters, and save the slang for those opportunities to embarrass the special young people in your life.

That’s my totally cool and awesome advice for writing slang. Do you have a tip to share? Leave a comment!

Donna Jo Stone writes YA contemporary novels about tough issues but always ends the stories with a note of hope. She blogs at donnajostone.com.

Categories
The Picky Pen

Punctuation Series: How to Edit Punctuation Marks

Presentation is everything, especially when it comes to the publishing world. And your presentation of punctuation is crucial to your book’s success. But punctuation can be tricky, boring, and downright distressing at times. As a writer and an editor, I completely understand your frustration with grammar altogether. You’d rather write, right? Right! So let’s continue our 2019 focus on a simple, easy-to-understand punctuation series that I hope will be a help and encouragement to you, allowing you more time to write well.

If you feel like you’re back in grammar school, please take heart—and know that this isn’t going to be a boring, stuffy ‘nother grammar lesson. When writing, it’s super important to make sure our punctuation marks are in the right spots, as it’s like a golden ticket to success.

Where Are Poorly-placed Punctuation Marks Located?

  • Surrounding dialogue
  • In the middle of two conjoined sentences
  • At the end of sentences
  • And anywhere your fingers accidentally touch a key

Let’s Dive In!

Commas (Chicago Manual of Style 6.16 and following)

  1. Wrong: “I don’t think we’d better go there”, Robert said.
    (commas always go inside the closing quote mark with dialogue, especially with a dialogue tag.)
    Right: “I don’t think we’d better go there,” Robert said.
  2. Wrong: Julie left came back and left again.
    (this is treated like a series of items, and each one needs a comma in between.)
    Right: Julie left, came back, and left again.
  3. Wrong: After removing her shoes she hopped onto the couch.
    (commas are used with adverbial introductory phrases)
    Right: After removing her shoes, she hopped onto the couch.

Semicolons (Chicago Manual of Style 6.56 and following)

  1. Wrong: She spent much of her free time at the bookstore no flimsy bookbag would do.
    (a semicolon is needed because two subjects within the same idea is present.)
    Right: She spent much of her time at the bookstore; no flimsy bookbag would do.
  2. Wrong: The writer had a blister on his finger therefore, he put a Band-Aid on his finger and kept typing.
    (a semicolon is needed before the word therefore because it acts as an adverbial conjunction that joins two sentences of the same idea.)
    Right: The writer had a blister on his finger; therefore, he put a Band-Aid on his finger and kept typing.
  3. Wrong: Joe, Jamie, and Juanita, research editors Carlos, production editor and Larry, managing editor, offered support for the local magazine.
    (a semicolon is needed in several places to pare off the different categories.)
    Right: Joe, Jamie, and Juanita, research editors; Carlos, production editor; and Larry, managing editor, offered support for the local magazine.

Periods (Chicago Manual of Style 6.12 and following)

  1. Wrong: She set the groceries on the counter and put the milk in the fridge,
    (a period is needed at the end of the sentence, of course. Many times, we get in a hurry and our fingers fly wherever…)
    Right: She set the groceries on the counter and put the milk in the fridge.
  2. Wrong: We wanted to see Mount Ranier while one vacation. (We were told it was gorgeous).
    (periods go inside the sentence if enclosed in parenthesis as a complete thought.)
    Right: We wanted to see Mount Ranier while one vacation. (We were told it was gorgeous.)
  3. Wrong: The Bible says, “He must increase but I must decrease” (John 3:3.)
    (periods go outside of the sentence if the parenthesis is attached to the sentence as a complete thought.)
    Right: The Bible says, “He must increase but I must decrease” (John 3:3).

Using well-placed punctuation marks is important because your overall presentation makes a world of difference to your editor, agent, publisher, and readers. That may seem counterintuitive because the writing is equally important, but it’s the presentation that tends to enhance your credibility as a writer. (Especially if you self-publish and are doing your own first-draft editing.)

Next month, we’ll look at some more ways to edit the punctuation in your manuscript, but for now. . . remember, please don’t call the semicolon a “semi comma” as an insurance agent I used to transcribe for called it. Every time he wanted to insert a semicolon, he’d say, “semi comm,” and it just cracked me up!

Please take a minute and join in the discussion! I’d love to hear from you!

Which of these punctuation marks do you contend with or love?

Tisha Martin writes historical fiction and nonfiction but also edits and proofreads for beginning and best-selling writers, professional editing agencies, and publishing houses. She has a BA in Professional Writing, an MS in English Education, and an editing certificate from the PEN Institute, affordable continuing education for editors. Active in American Christian Fiction Writers and The PEN, she appreciates the writing and editing communities. As Assistant Director of PENCON, a conference for editors, she enjoys travel marketing and updating PENCON’s Facebook Page. Connect with Tisha on her website www.tishamartin.com and engage in the conversation.

Categories
The Picky Pen

Five Ways to Edit Dialogue

When thinking about the dialogue in our story, whether fiction or nonfiction, we must consider perspective. With each story, there should be one main character whose point of view by which the reader experiences the story. Dialogue is one of the storytelling tools that lets you reveal character, advance the plot, establish the setting, and deliver the theme, all at the same time. That means that your dialogue needs to be tight and very easy to read. Well written dialogue ensures that your characters’ conversations will move right along and enhance each of your characters, as well as the overall story message.

I’d like to share several ways you can self-edit your dialogue to make sure it is truly impactful for your readers.

How to edit dialogue

1.  The first way to self-edit your dialogue is to chop down wooden dialogue.

In real life, people stammer and repeat themselves when conversing, but the characters in your manuscript are supposed to sound natural and spontaneous. Wooden dialogue puts a wall between your characters and your readers and actually tells your readers what the characters are doing. Here is an example.

“Joy, why are you raising that hammer above your head?”

“Because I want to hang up this picture.”

This type of dialogue does two things. It tells the reader what the character is doing, and it is stilted conversation that gives narrative details. Because you want your readers to engage in your characters’ lives, you must chop down wooden dialogue so it is smooth instead of stiff or rehearsed. Let’s revise that bit of dialogue to bring out the characters’ personalities.

“Hey, that looks like a hard position to be in, let me help you.”

“Oh, thanks. I thought I was going to fall over.”

Doesn’t that sound a little more interesting? Good dialogue will engage your readers and show your characters’ personalities.

2. The second way to self-edit your dialogue is to get rid of insignificant dialogue.

In real life, people often exchange niceties, such as inquiring how someone is, or discussing the weather. Small talk is a way to cover up nervousness or before discussing more important or sensitive topics. But in our manuscripts, insignificant dialogue kills the dramatic purpose our characters have for each scene. If the purpose of your scene is to show the nervousness of two couples meeting for the first time, then perhaps insignificant dialogue might work, but don’t let it go on and on. The more significant you make your dialogue the more of an impact it will have on your readers. And for the most part, your dialogue needs to reveal the character’s goal and reason for having that particular conversation.

3 . The third way to self-edit your dialogue is to cut out repetitive dialogue.

Have you ever heard two people tell you the same story at the same time? This is what repetitive dialogue tends to do in your manuscript. Then the story gets very monotonous. It’s a good idea to read your dialogue sections out loud and look for repeated words and ideas that stand out to you. Let me give you an example of repetitive dialogue.

“He was elected unanimously. Everybody voted for him.”

This is the same thing twice, doesn’t it? To make this dialogue simpler, choose the strongest piece of dialogue that best conveys the scene’s purpose and the character’s goal in light of the overall message of the manuscript.

4 . The fourth way to self-edit your dialogue is to clothe the naked dialogue.

Readers want dialogue that discusses opinion, involves conflict, and keeps them turning the page. And often, dialogue is unimpressive. To enhance the dialogue so that it is impressive, we can do several things to our dialogue to enhance the reading experience and provide subtext.

Use descriptive tags. A tag helps the reader keep track of who is talking and reveals the characters manner of speaking when the words alone don’t imply it. For instance, “I’m not hungry,” Jerry moaned. what does this tell you about Jerry? Perhaps he is tired or sad. There are so many elements of subtext that we can read into just by the descriptive tag moaned.

Use speaker actions when they contradict or reinforce the spoken words, or when they help the reader picture the scene more easily. For instance, “I’m not hungry,” Jerry moaned, laying his head down on the table. Now how does Jerry feel? We know that by this action, he is tired, therefore, he is not hungry.

5.  The fifth way to self-edit your dialogue is by trimming overdressed dialogue.

Have you ever met someone who is cold-blooded, especially during the summer time and every time you see them they’re always wearing long sleeves? I don’t know about you but sometimes that makes me feel even hotter because that person is overdressed. This can also happen to our dialogue, where we use too much information in our dialogue. There are several ways that dialogue tends to be overdressed.

The use of speaker tags. Speaker tags describe the characters voice, but since it tends to chop up the dialogue, speaker tags should be used as little as possible. The only time it makes sense to use a speaker tag is when the reader might be confused which character is talking. Here is a poor example of overdressed dialogue:

“I’m going to the par-ty,” Isabella said happily, twirling.

“If you don’t stop twirling, you’re going to break something,” Robert said in a warning tone as he folded his arms.

Many times the speaker tags can repeat the tone within the dialogue therefore creating the problem of repetitive dialogue. And as we have already discussed, we can lace our dialogue best with meaningful actions, thoughts, and impressions. There are several ways that we can trim our dialogue.

The use of adverbs. Adverbs slow the reading down and does not engage your reader in the scene or conversation. Here is an example.

“I don’t want to get up at five!” she yelled angrily.

This dialogue reads boring, even though the content is interesting. If we removed the adverb, replacing with character action, we might have a different impression.

She dropped her book bag. “I don’t want to get up at five,” she yelled.

By replacing the adverbs with character action, your readers will get a sense of what the characters want, understand their personality, and be further engaged in the scene because the character actions match the dialogue.

Dialogue is a useful tool and a very important piece of effective storytelling. The time you invest in good self-editing, making sure that your dialogue is effective and important to your character’s motives and goals for the story, your readers will enjoy the richness of each scene that you create.

Please take a minute and join in the discussion! I’d love to hear from you!

What’s your favorite part about writing dialogue?

Tisha Martin writes historical fiction and nonfiction but also edits and proofreads for beginning and best-selling writers, professional editing agencies, and publishing houses. She has a BA in Professional Writing, an MS in English Education, and an editing certificate from the PEN Institute, affordable continuing education for editors. Active in American Christian Fiction Writers and The PEN, she appreciates the writing and editing communities. As Assistant Director of PENCON, a conference for editors, she enjoys travel marketing and updating PENCON’s Facebook Page. Connect with Tisha on her website www.tishamartin.com and engage in the conversation.

Categories
The Picky Pen

Editing Dialogue

Many writers are introverts and don’t prefer to talk a lot. Some writers are extroverts and love to talk. For those, speaking isn’t hard at all and is as natural as brushing our teeth or tying our shoes. Even then, writing natural dialogue is a challenge sometimes. (However, writing dialogue is a topic is for a writing blogger on Almost an Author. This is an Editing blog post!)

If writing dialogue is hard, then perhaps editing dialogue is even harder. Where do you put the comma again? Before or after the dialogue tag? How do you format the quotations? Wait . . . what? I have to make my characters sound realistic without making them sound like they’re dumping information? How on earth do I accomplish that?

So . . . let me help clear the air, the pockets of confusion, the panic that’s probably constricting your chest right now. Below are three general rules for editing your dialogue so that your manuscript is clean, efficient, and your readers will fall in love with your characters. (Bold text has been added for emphasis. This does not mean publishers want you to bold these items. It’s merely there for your ease of reference. Please don’t bold anything in your manuscripts.)

Three Rules for Editing Dialogue

1. Insert double quote marks around the beginning and ending of the spoken portions within your story.

Double quote marks, or curly quotes, look like this:

Freddy, if we don’t get moving, it’s gonna rain on us.

There are double quote marks at the beginning of this dialogue and at the end of this dialogue. If your font has straight quote marks, be sure to keep them consistent. Nothing like inconsistency on something so small as quotation marks that sadly ruin a great reading experience!

2. Place the comma on the inside of the quote mark, before the dialogue tag.

As a contest judge and an editor, I constantly mark this common error in manuscripts (and published books!) I’m reading. Proper comma placement within dialogue looks like this:

“She’s a keeper, all right,” Hercules said, looking across the street.

Did you see the comma between the last word and the ending quote mark? Comma goes between those two elements, especially with a dialogue “tag,” such as said, stated, inferred, etc. Not after. Please.

3. Watch for inconsistent structure in dialogue.

Many times, I see beautiful dialogue, but the structure is wonky. When you have action beats and dialogue beats around a segment of dialogue, it can be tricky to know how to organize it. Try this method:

“I’m about as horse crazy as you are.Susan winked. “When I was ten, my parents bought me a pony for Christmas.”

Notice the period at the end of the first sentence and then the quote mark. The action beat comes after. Then the dialogue starts up again.

But what if you want to include a dialogue tag instead of an action beat? Try this method instead:

Laurie wasn’t sure how sick she was, but Dad’s tone did make her feel sick. “Why do I have to go to the hospital?” she called, her voice cracking.

Notice the question mark goes inside the quote mark, followed by a lowercased pronoun and a comma after the dialogue tag and the exposition of how the character’s voice sounded. Please do not capitalize the pronoun after the character speaks. You want to keep good form.

Here are a few excellent resources for you in editing your manuscript:

  • Come to Breathe Christian Writer’s Conference, October 12-13, 2018, where I’ll be teaching two workshops on beginning editing and advanced editing. I’d love to see you there! You can register at Breathe Writer’s Conference. It’s in Michigan, and it’s very affordable!
  • Buy Kathy Ide’s book, Proofreading Secrets of Best-selling Authors, link to purchase from Amazon here. Or win a free copy at one of my Breathe sessions!
  • Buy Joyce K. Ellis’s book, Write With Excellence 201: A lighthearted guide to the serious matter of writing well—for Christian authors, editors, and students, link to purchase from Amazon here. Or win a free copy at one of my Breathe sessions!

I hope this helps you in knowing how to edit your dialogue, or at least some of it. I’m creating a session for beginning editors and advanced writers on editing, and they should be available by the end of the year. I’ll include practical advice that’s helpful and encouraging. Always looking for ways to help authors be able to write easier and not be super worried (maybe you’re not) about editing dialogue. Agents, editors, publishers, and readers just prefer a clean manuscript. And you can confidently give them one by learning these quick tricks!

Join in the discussion! I’d love to hear from you!

Take a few minutes and ruminate. What does your dialogue tell about your characters?

About Tisha Martin

Tisha Martin is a writer and editor, and she lives to encourage authors and editors to bridge their relationships and work together for the publishing industry cause, where readers will treasure books for always. With a bachelor’s in Professional Writing, a master’s in English Education, and an editing certificate from the PEN Institute, she has equal passions for writing and editing. Active in American Christian Fiction Writers and The PEN, she appreciates both communities and has a heart for bridging the relationships between authors and editors. She is the former Assistant Director of PENCON, a conference for editors, where she was instrumental in seeing attendee growth in 2018, up 150% from 2017. Connect with Tisha on her website www.tishamartin.com and on her social media. She looks forward to the conversation!

Categories
Dear Young Scribes

Balancing the Elements of Fiction – Part 1

Have you ever noticed how some authors tend to focus too much on writing certain fiction elements, yet ignore the others? Maybe their writing sounds a little like this…

Dialogue
Action beat
Dialogue
Action beat
Dialogue
Action beat

And on and on. Or perhaps the author writes far too much description and internal monologue and not enough dialogue or action. This becomes easily distracting, don’t you think? This is why we need to be careful that we aren’t making the same mistake in our own writing.

The elements of fiction include the following: description, dialogue, exposition, action beats, & interior monologue. Fiction writers should study and master each of these elements separately if they wish to deliver a story in novel format. However, the placement of these elements is vital. The elements need to be braided together throughout each scene and flow naturally so the scene becomes 4D to the reader. It’s a writer’s job to understand how to balance these elements in a way that keeps the pace of the story moving along.

Let’s think about this in movie format. Pretend as though you’re watching a film. If the camera focused on the scenery of the setting rather than the dialogue, I doubt you’d be intrigued enough to continue watching the movie. On the other hand, if the scenes focused on back-and-forth dialogue, don’t you think that’d feel restricting? Each element of the story must work together in order to portray the full spectrum.

If we can establish this in our fiction novels, then we will master the art of crafting a story that immerses our readers and brings them into a “fictive dream”. They’ll feel almost as though the story is happening to themselves rather than to the characters.

This is a balancing act, one that every fiction writer must strive to achieve in their stories. If we give too much emphasis on exposition and description, then dialogue, interior monologue, and beats will be neglected. So how can we balance the elements of fiction?

First, we must understand the definition and role of each element. We’ll discuss this in the next post of this series.

Which of these elements do you tend to give too much attention to in your own writing?

[bctt tweet=”Balancing the Elements of Fiction – Part 1 #writingtips @TessaEmilyHall” username=””]

Image Credit: My Gre Exam Preparation

Categories
History in the Making

Dialogue Contractions in Historical Novels

by Sandra Merville Hart

 

Historical novelists research ways of life, events, fashion, and a myriad of other topics. Another aspect of writing to consider is dialogue. Should we use contractions in our characters’ conservations?

Whatever we think, it is also important to consider our editor’s opinion. He or she might believe that the dialogue should be liberally sprinkled with contractions because readers will relate to it. Others may feel contractions weaken the historical authenticity.

I decided to pull a variety of novels written in earlier eras from my bookshelf to verify the use of contractions in dialogue. The results surprised me.

I didn’t find any dialogue contractions when leafing through Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice. I didn’t reread the story, but this novel, published in 1813, contains few—if any. [bctt tweet=”Use #dialogue contractions in historical novels to enhance character’s style. #writing #histfic ” username=”@Sandra_M_Hart”] 

Mark Twain published The Innocents Abroad in 1869. This novel is a narrative with little dialogue yet those conversations contain contractions. His book about his adventures in the western territories of the United States, Roughing It, has a lot more dialogue with contractions. Twain’s novels, Huckleberry Finn and Tom Sawyer, utilize contractions. They feel authentic.

Lucy Maud Montgomery’s Anne of Green Gables published in 1908. Montgomery used contractions in conversations.

Great Expectations, the classic novel by Charles Dickens, published in 1861. This master storyteller sprinkled contractions throughout his dialogue.

Ernest Hemingway published The Sun Also Rises in 1926. He also uses contractions in dialogue.

The only author of the five who didn’t use contractions is Jane Austen. Her writing has a formal feel, yet her dialogue still flows naturally.

Writers may be more influenced by Jane Austen’s style, choosing to write dialogue without contractions. Reading conversations aloud will show where to soften and tweak the wording. Writing without contractions may feel more authentic.

Other novelists decide to include contractions for every character.

Perhaps there is a happy medium. Don’t shy away from using contractions in historical novels. Don’t avoid them at all costs.

Instead use dialogue contractions as one more way to differentiate a particular character’s style—to add color and flavor and dimension. Some folks speak in formal language while others never do. The way they communicate reveals clues about who they are.

Dialogue then becomes another tool in a novelist’s arsenal for effective communication.

 

Categories
The Writer's PenCase

Putting Fire in Your Fiction – Part I

Most fiction starts out hot, then bogs down. How can you keep the fire in your fiction so that readers will continually turn the pages of our novel? Scenes and dialogue can be our greatest friends or our worst enemies. In this next series of posts, we’ll ramp it up by putting the fire in your fiction.

Categories
Craft The Writer's PenCase

Putting Fire in Your Fiction—Part I

fire-2When drafting your novel, then self-editing, go back and determine whether or not any given scene moves the story along and how important it is. Your novel is only as good as your write it. Prepare your novel for publication while improving your craft. I can’t remember how many scenes I actually cut from “Meghan’s Choice.” I learned a lot about how to decide whether a scene was important enough to keep. #amwriting #fireinfiction

Categories
Uncategorized

Brother, Lend Me Your Ear

133146861_775d613447At a writer’s conference, a contest judge once shared with me that he could pick my voice out of numerous entries. “You write like you are talking to a friend,” he said.

If you are searching for your writer’s voice and are feeling the search will never end, I have a couple of suggestions that might simplify your quest based on the contest judge’s comment to me.

Imagine your best friend is listening to you as your story pours from your heart onto paper. With this technique your passion will flow with ease. Friends share both their happy times and seasons of sorrow without reservation.

After I shared this advice at a workshop, I received an email from an attendee.

“I pulled a comfortable chair in front of my desk and imagined my best friend was sitting there, waiting for my every word. As I wrote the beginning of my novel I would glance at the chair and speak a few words of novel dialogue to the ghost-image. The dialogue came easy and I was able to write the first chapter in record time.”

Another tip: I often ask other writers to listen as I read a passage from my work-in-progress to see if my voice is coming through loud and clear and if they can hear my heart.

“Always listen to your heart, because even though it’s on your left side, it’s always right.” – Nicholas Sparks

When reading my work out loud to others I often catch mistakes such as which sentences are awkward, repetitiveness or if the tone is incorrect.

Still searching for your writer’s voice? Try giving the friend-in-chair technique and reading your work aloud to others a try.

Do you have a suggestion for finding the writer’s voice? If so, please share in the comments section.

Categories
The Writer's PenCase

Storytelling – What Makes a Story Great?

ben-hurWhat is it about a story that makes it compelling? Is it the characters? Is it the plot? Is it the element of surprise? Is it the challenges? Is it danger? I submit, it’s all of them, skillfully put together, woven like a tapestry to make an impression on our minds and in our hearts.

Categories
Developing Your Writer's Voice

One Way to Discover Your Writer’s Voice

“Do you have a unique voice?”

It’s one question agents and editors often ask writers during one-on-one interviews at conferences.

A “deer caught in the headlights” look passes over newbie’s faces while their tongues cling to the roof of their mouths. “Voice, what do you mean by voice?”

It’s been said that finding and developing one’s writer voice is at the top of the list of things aspiring writers find most intimidating.

There are many definitions of what constitutes a writer’s voice. I believe it’s a combination of syntax, style, dialogue, diction and tone. It is the very essence of you that springs forth from the pages.

[bctt tweet=””Do you have a unique voice?” #amwriting #author #novel” via=”no”]

My writer’s voice came quickly, which was not the case for the bane of my existence—the matter of show versus tell. We all have issues!

Each post I’ll share a tip on developing your writer’s voice along with advice I’ve gleaned over the years from seasoned wordsmiths. Hopefully, tackling this issue in small bites will make it easier to digest.

Today’s tip: Read. Read a lot. When you find new authors or revisit old favorites, try to determine what drew you into their story world. Listen for their voice. Read other books written by them to determine if you would know it was their writing, their voice, without seeing the writer’s names. This lesson might seem elementary but trust me; it will be a helpful exercise.

Consider this post for a moment. What is the voice of this post? What is its personality? Is it cozy, formal, or aloof?

Please leave comments concerning your struggles with voice with suggestions of how this blog can best serve you in the comment section.

I hope you come back to visit often.