Doubts assailed me as I stood on the mountain anticipating my first Christian writers conference. Fear tainted my excitement, and I wondered if coming was a mistake.
Was this God’s plan or just my idea? I’ve dreamed of this venture for years. Friends deem my efforts as publication-worthy, but will an agent agree?
Writing for God. Wow, what a blessing! But did He choose me for this kingdom work? Surely not. I’m a fair judge of writing and mine is okay—well, maybe good—but not excellent.
With thoughts swirling, I recalled some self-talk and prayer that had occurred after I’d accepted what I believed to be God’s call to write. Shortly after I began to study and practice the craft, I read articles authored by friends and silently declared, That’s it. I won’t do it! Their writing is great, but mine isn’t. God certainly didn’t call me to write.
The Lord interrupted my internal tirade and asked, “Jeannie, are you willing to write with the gift I gave you even if it doesn’t appear as profound as someone else’s?”
His question dissolved me into a puddle of tears and I cried, Yes, Lord, I will. I offer this gift back to You.
As God reminded me of that encounter in prayer, my paralysis on the mountain turned into grateful obedience.
During the two years following that first conference, I contracted to write devotions for two compilations, contributed to a Selah award finalist, started writing for Refresh Bible Study Magazine, and published a poem. What amazing blessings and confirmation for this wavering writer!
Last year, when Beebe and Katy Kauffman envisioned the Bible study compilation, Heart Renovation: A Construction Guide to Godly Character, I shunned fear, trusted God, and joined the team as a new Bible study writer. Then, this past spring, I established what I call “my fledgling blog” to try my wings at encouraging readers. With each opportunity, God helps me grow as a Christian and a writer.
Doubts still sneak in, but when they do, a heavenly shoulder tap reminds me of God’s call. Recently, after reading a friend’s blog post, those doubts resurfaced.
Dena’s post has a great format and clear focus. Mine, not so much. Maybe I shouldn’t even . . . Wait. Stop! I’m comparing again and finding myself lacking.
Father, transform me into the writer You want me to become. I pray, “Teach me the way in which I should walk; for to You I lift up my soul” (Psalm 143:8b NASB).
Praying and reading Scripture redirect my thoughts to God’s plan and produce peace and assurance. I’m thankful God walks with me through “Doubt Valley” and sets my feet on the mountain of His grace while teaching me to serve Him through writing. God doesn’t always call people who are experts, but He continues to prepare those He calls.
Do self-talk and doubts hinder your writing? If so, what gets you back on track?
Jeannie Waters adores family time and cheering for the Georgia Bulldogs. She teaches English as a Second Language part-time and leads an English/Bible study. Jeannie writes for Refresh Bible Study Magazine, and she contributed to these compilations: Breaking the Chains and Heart Renovation: A Construction Guide to Godly Character (Lighthouse Bible Studies), as well as Just Breathe and Let the Earth Rejoice (Worthy). Visit her at jeanniewaters.com or @jeanniewaters44 on Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest.
