Writers Chat, hosted by Johnnie Alexander, Brandy Brow, and Melissa Stroh, is the show where we talk about all things writing, by writers and for writers!
“Because talking about writing is more fun than actually doing it.”
Panning for Sentence Gold with Ann Neumann
When we self-edit, we become like miners panning for gold, sifting through the sediment of first and second drafts in search of glittering flakes. And like miners, we can put our sediment–our sentences–through classifying screens of varying mesh size to reveal superfine prose. Grammar expert Ann Neumann (writing as Cate Touryan) guides us through the “grammar as gold” screening process in this episode of Writers Chat.
Watch the October 1st replay.
Ann Neumann: As a university instructor and editor, Ann has taught writing to homeschoolers other projects, she taught and redesigned the foundational grammar course for UC Berkeley’s editing certificate program. As an author, she writes fiction and creative nonfiction under her pen name, Cate Touryan. Her debut YA novel is slated for release in May 2025. She lives on California’s foggy but beautiful central coast with her husband, her Yorkie, and a rafter of turkeys—as in both a whole bunch of them and in the rafters.
Writer’s Journey: Unexpected Turns with Kathy Brasby
Kathy joins us to share the twists and unexpected turns of her writing journey. She shared how God used past situations, good and bad, for her good years later. She explains how creating a spiritual timeline (an exercise based on Henry Blackaby’s “Experiencing God”) can connect us to our writing. Our journeys, she says, can resemble “flinging paint colors” onto a canvas, then stepping back to see the pattern. In closing, Kathy reminds us that God communicates with our imaginations ~ He whispers into our imaginations.
Watch the October 8th Replay.
Kathy Brasby is a former journalist who focuses on storytelling in both fiction and non-fiction pieces. Her award-winning writing includes five published books. She has created and taught Bible studies for over thirty years. She holds a BA in English and an MA in Theological Studies. Her website is KathyBrasby.net
Disclaimer: The opinions and viewpoints presented by the cohosts and guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and viewpoints of Writers Chat or Serious Writer, Inc.
Writers Chat is hosted live each Tuesday for an hour starting at 10 AM CT / 11 AM ET on Zoom. The permanent Zoom room link is: http://zoom.us/j/4074198133
Among writers in the publishing community, there is a false belief that my submission does not have to be perfect because the editor will fix any mistakes. After all, isn’t that what editors do?
While I’ve been an editor for decades, I’ve also been a writer. I believe it is important for writers to understand some of what editors’ face. A key responsibility for every editor is to produce the best possible magazine or book for their company. They want every publication to be as excellent as possible. In their search for content, they are looking for the best possible writing for their particular audience. To catch their attention, you want your submission to be a fit for what they need and as enticing as possible.
“You only get one chance to make a good first impression.”
An old yet true saying,
The first impression from your submission is a critical factor. As a writer, you do not want to be missing some crucial element for the editor. The hardest missing element to find with your submission is something that is not there.
Another important element for you to know about editors is many editors are not writers. Yes, they write emails or guidelines but they do not write for publication (magazine or books). Their expertise is in management of workflow and excellent editing skills. Also, a number of my editor colleagues do not teach workshops at writers’ conference. It is simply not in their skill set. These individuals can recognize excellent writing and can adjust your writing but not create it in the first place which is a different skill.
Recently I spoke with a bestselling author and asked about her forthcoming books. She admitted that she had no forthcoming books because she had not written a book proposal or made a pitch through a query letter. If you want to be published at a magazine or publisher, you have to learn how to craft an enticing book proposal or query letter then be pitching it consistently until you find an editor who is interested. Every magazine and publisher has expectations about what they need. They spell out these expectations in their guidelines which are often on their website. The simple steps are to study their guidelines and what they publish, and then send the editor what they need.
While writing is a creative endeavor, publishing is a business.
As you understand the business, marketing and selling aspects of publishing, this information will feed into your submission and you will become more of the type of writer that editors want to work with and publish.
I’ve been in some of the top literary agencies and publishers in the United States, the good news is every one of these professional colleagues are actively looking for quality writing—whether they send you a response or not. Each personal is actively reading their email and their physical mail looking for the right fit. If you write what they need, you could be the next person that they publish.
Back in 2021, I relayed the long, long trail to sell a 181-word board book manuscript for publication. And I promised to describe the launch!
Triassic
From dinos in my brain to in the book is like waiting to see a first-born child. Finally, the editor approves the illustrator, and How to Dress a Dinosaur has a cover reveal! Over the top cuteness, I put it on my website, Facebook, and find a launch group of other authors with 2022 releases.
Jurassic
Confidently, I contact local preschools, bookstores, and libraries for the Big Launch event. That’s when I’m informed that with a pandemic (I already had shots) going on no kid programs are being scheduled in March. And everyone is tired of Zoom.
In the meantime, I hire a virtual assistant and build a Pinterest board for dinosaur-related crafts, food, games, and costumes. Plus I order the cutest-ever dinosaur-themed dress.
Copies of my book arrive. I get so excited to tear into packaging I forget to take the usual “box opening” video. I beg family member for photos of any kids in dino costumes or with dinos and unearth my nephew’s dinosaur themed wedding!
I sneakily check all my area libraries to see if they have How to Dress a Dinosaur on order and, as a “local author,” request they purchase it. My launch group comes through with reviews on Goodreads. I start micro-watching the Amazon New Books page and get very excited when How to Dress a Dinosaur gets to number 11! This is going to be big!
Comet Strike
March 15! This is it! Launch Day!…crickets…
I read How to Dress a Dinosaur to one preschool outdoors on a blustery day in a heavy coat—which covers my cute dinosaur dress. Sigh.
Cretaceous
At last, a local bookstore is willing to live-launch How to Dress a Dinosaur on International Dinosaurs Day at the end of May! I bribe my teenage grandchildren to dress in blow-up dinosaur costumes. My own International Dinosaur Day is a real-time event with people who want an autographed copy! Book launches. Post pictures.
Cenozoic
I write an adorable sequel to How to Dress a Dinosaur and am informed the dino market is glutted. Time to move on to mammals…
Award Winning author Robin Currie learned story sharing by sitting on the floor, during library story times. She has sold 1.7 M copies of her 40 storybooks and writes stories to read and read again. Robin is thrilled to have finally launched How to Dress a Dinosaur (familius, 2022)!
As we continue this editing series how we can develop a great story, I hope you’re able to see that the elements of storytelling hinges on more than concept and characters.
By having all the layers in place before actually writing, you can have a clearer idea of where your story is going. Or if you’ve already written your book, how to make sure all the layers are in place so that you give
your readers a delightful reading experience.
The fifth layer in developing a great story is developing the setting within your story, whether nonfiction or fiction.
The settings within your story link the moods and viewpoints of your characters and plot together like a colorful construction paper chain link that can be as short or as long as you want them to be.
How to Edit the Setting
What does the setting say about your character?
What is the most important dominant impression in this scene?
How does the setting enhance your story’s plot?
What does the setting say about your character?
As you know, in storytelling, it’s really all about what’s at stake for the main character. And the best way to show that is to show the character interacting with the scene.
We’re not going to talk about the character right now, but more how the elements in the scene help the character.
A well-written setting will describe your character’s mood without telling readers your character’s mood. A well-written setting will affect your character’s mood
without telling your readers. A well-written setting will also enhance the scene and the actions and reactions of the other characters interaction with each other. Or the overall effect and observation of the landscape.
We must ask ourselves the following potential questions (not exhaustive, by any means):
Does the setting describe the visual space, or does the setting describe the character’s motivations and actions, pulling the reader into the story?
Does the setting open with intrigue and action, or does it open slow and monotone?
What is the end result of the setting?
What does this setting tie back to?
What is the driving emotion and motivation for the character?
Are any of the five senses represented here, and how to incorporate them?
What setting details would enhance the character actions?
What is the takeaway or suspense for your readers?
If it seems that every aspect of storytelling is comprised of asking lots of questions, you’re right. It is. As writers, we must don our analytical hats and comb every journalist-style
question as we map out the story basics. For in asking those deeper questions, we will be able to craft a compelling scene that dazzles and engages readers.
Here’s a piece of my draft scene for the story I’m writing:
Footsteps echoed on the hardwood floor. The door swung open, and Dad retreated to his desk. A bulky L. C. Smith and Corona sat on the desk. Sunlight pushed through a filmy window from
behind and glared across the desktop.
Footsteps echoed on the hardwood floor. The door swung open, and Dad retreated to his desk. A bulky L. C. Smith and Corona sat on the desk. Sunlight pushed through a filmy window
from behind and glared across the desktop.
“What are you doing?” She settled on the wingback chair catty-corner the desk.
Dad pulled a clean sheet through the feeder. “Taking care of business.”
She scanned the desk for bills or business letters but only found heavily edited typed sheets of paper. “Oh. What kind of business?”
The return key dinged, and his fingers arched above the keys. “Not quite finished with it yet.”
She sighed, resigned to live in her father’s abrupt world, but wishing she didn’t have to be affected by it.
He hit a few keys and squinted at what he’d typed. “Oh, Paul and Kate said they’d help you get registered for school.”
He didn’t want to help her register for school? Fighting tears, she slammed her hands into her lap where he couldn’t see them. “You’re okay with that?”
“Why not?” A steady slap of keys followed.
Two crumpled sheets rested against a bookshelf across from her and the desk. Rejects. Why did she feel like joining them? She cleared her throat. “I don’t know, but maybe
I’m not ready to walk all around school.”
“Rie, Paul says you’re doing well. Susan too.” He looked up, smiling. “That’s good enough for me.”
She rubbed the chair’s fraying arm. If this was his way of approving, then she’d take it, but she didn’t have to like it. “I’m glad you think so. I’m
going to sit on Cherish today.”
He thumbed through half of the stack and set a portion aside. “Honey, I need to keep working. Do you mind if we talk later?” He picked up his pen and circled some words
on a sheet from the middle of the stack.
Staring at the pile, she made out the word draft across the top of one page. What was he writing, and why was it more important than her? He’d hardly talked with her since she’d come back from the hospital. She grabbed her crutches and locked her knees.
Why did she think he would ever change now?
Like it? It’s not perfect, and will change, but it’s a start. Can you picture the setting as if you were right there? Do you notice words that invoke reactions like impatience,
dismissiveness, striving, sad patience? Do you feel the rush of disappointment as Rie tries to talk with her father? Do you feel the anticipation, the hope, then the dejection settling in the pit of your stomach?
Think about your own story, and what your character wants. Got it? Now what kind of things would need to be in your setting that would set up the mood that describes your character’s
feelings without saying what your character is feeling?
“She felt tired.” No! Rather, “The chair sagged in the corner, and she sank into it” shows you the character is tired. Exhausted. Beat. Done in.
What is the most important dominant impression in this scene?
The dominant impression is what stands out most in the setting that gives credence to the character’s mood and the scene’s mood.
In my draft scene example, the dominant impression was two things: the typewriter and scattered paper, and I used words and descriptions and motivations that described the office
and the father’s actions, while bringing focus to what my character was feeling—and what she wanted. These dominant impressions also describe the mood of everything and everyone else in the room, and how the main
character is affected.
In short, the dominant impression centers around the setting and helps bring focus and emotion to the scene and whatever happens in it. And often, the dominant impression affects
your character’s emotions greatly.
How does the setting propel the plot forward?
Propelling the plot forward is tough. Not gonna lie. It’s that delicate balance between stop, listen to the birdsong, and go, race through the sun-splashed woods.
In making the scene move forward, whether slower paced or break-neck speed, it’s crucial to set certain actions, thoughts, motivations, descriptions in such a way that the setting
builds to a crescendo. If you’ve ever listened to Handle’s Messiah, you know the rush of emotion you get when that last stanza is played. And you know the feelings that overwhelm you. Same for your writing because
readers will be able to experience all those emotions with your characters at those levels, and then when you raise the stakes, then that emotion only grows.
For example, in my scene, the various propellers are in different places throughout that scene:
#1 “Why not?” A steady slap of keys followed.
#2 She rubbed the chair’s fraying arm. If this was his way of approving, then she’d take it, but she didn’t have to like it. “I’m glad you think so. I’m going to sit on Cherish today.”
He thumbed through half of the stack and set a portion aside. “Honey, I need to keep working. Do you mind if we talk later?”
As if Laurie’s been jerked out of that office, right?
Secret Sauce to the Best Setting. Ever.
“Places are never just places in a piece of writing. If they are, the author has failed. Setting is not inert. It is activated by point of view.”
And let that be true of your manuscript, however you choose to set up the setting in your story, whether you choose to ease in, ramp up, create waves, let it ebb and flow, or go off
the deep end. No. No. Don’t do that. But do make your readers anticipate every moment of every element of each and every setting.
Each writer and author benefits from exploring their characters and setting inside and out, while asking “what if?” at every turn when crafting their novel’s plot
because it’s really the secret sauce to writing a great story that captivates people, agents, editors, readers, marketers, and the person who wouldn’t necessarily pick up a book and read it.
Questions? Comments? I’d love to engage in the conversation with you! Drop your question or comment in the chat below, and I’ll look forward to responding!
Your Turn!
What is the dominant impression in your setting?
Which of the five senses will you use in your scene, and how?
How is your character viewing the scene by the setting, or how are they feeling / reacting?
Tisha Martin writes historical fiction and nonfiction but edits full time for beginning and best-selling writers and publishing houses. Since 2017 she has worked on over 250 books, including Planned from the Start, the devotional companion to Unplanned the movie, and serves as contest judge for Writer’s Digest. She puts her bachelors in Professional Writing, masters in English Education, and editing certificate from the PEN Institute to delightful good use. Her nonfiction essay “The Meaning of an Heirloom” in The Horse of My Dreams: True Stories of the Horses We Love is available from Revell. She enjoys speaking at writer’s conferences and coaching writers in the self-editing process. Learn more at www.tishamartin.com.
We’ve been doing quite a bit of painting at our house lately. A lot of painting. Our goal is to put our house on the market and a fresh coat of paint makes a big difference in rooms that haven’t felt the strokes of a brush in some years. The fact that our unique home is nearing its centennial makes the need for fresh color even more important. First impressions matter.
But it’s been hard work! Can you say “aching muscles?” Even the tendons in my fingers are complaining. But add my neck, arms and seemingly every other muscle in my body and I know that I have labored. But the results will be worth it when it’s ready to present to the public and that “For Sale” sign appears in the yard.
Have you ever thought of your work-in-progress as a piece of art that needs readied for the marketplace? Our first, second, and even third drafts need the stroke of words that describe setting, emotion, and artistic flair that reflects our writer’s voice.
Consider the difference in these phrases:
“He felt ashamed” vs “His cheeks burned as he avoided the professor’s gaze.”
“He was angry” vs. “The veins in his neck bulged as he pointed his finger in his enemy’s face.”
“She was hurt” to “She clutched her stomach and moaned.”
“She felt guilty” to “She stuttered her words as her face flushed.”
The first phrase in each example is what they call “telling.” The second phrase is “showing.” These phrases paint a picture for the reader that brings the characters alive.
These examples of showing are just a few of the suggestions from “The Emotion Thesaurus” by Angela Ackerman and Becca Puglisi. These authors have a series of books on ways to describe characters and setting that can be artistic strokes of life for your book.
Like the strokes of my paintbrush will, hopefully, help my house be more marketable, so the goal of your artistic edits should be to help your novel or book be a better seller. And ultimately, that is the reason for edits: To create an unforgettable manuscript, beloved by many.
It was early summer and the New England Asters were lush with leaves. But a knowledgeable gardener gave instructions concerning the long, gangly stems.
“They need to be trimmed way back to about six inches or so.”
Six inches??
“Yes, don’t worry, it will grow back and it will look even better.”
I still doubted but I trusted the gardener’s experience. So I began to clip, even though I cringed. I felt like I was ruining the plant by removing all those pretty leaves.
How will it ever be beautiful again?
And yet within weeks the stems filled out, growing upward and outward. By the time fall was near, the blooms were everywhere. The plant was more beautiful than when it started.
* * *
Often we writers fear the trimming process. We think by editing what seems to be the perfect story, book, or article, we are losing the beauty that we see. It might even seem like we are ruining what we thought was important.
But editors—the expert gardeners—see the big picture. They know what will turn our writing into something wonderful—a thing of flowering beauty. Editors are trained to read a manuscript with readers in mind. We are often too close to our own work to realize that by making a few changes, we can help the reader better understand our story. And we definitely want our readers to be happy.
Sometimes suggested edits can be discussed between writer and editor. Often there is a reason to leave well enough alone. But overall, I agree with most edits suggested by the experts when I am going through the trimming process.
It can feel uncomfortable at the time. But the finished work will usually show the proof of the editor’s expertise.
It can be a thing of beauty, just like the asters in fall.
There it was—the flat tire we dreaded finding. After discovering it flat twice that week, the expected deflation was not a total surprise.
It was an otherwise beautiful fall morning with enough chill in the air to be refreshing and not so many leaves collecting on the ground that they’d stir our conscience to take out the rake. But the flat tire on my husband’s aging Subaru definitely added clouds to this Saturday morning.
We knew it was time to visit the tire store.
The news there was worse than we imagined: Not only did that tire need complete replacing, but every tire on this vintage Subie needed an immediate sounding of the taps. It was time to give them all an honorable burial after years of faithful service.
Inhaling bravely, I nodded to my distraught husband. “Just do it. Buy four new ones.”
In similar bleak scenarios, writers can struggle with such ominous news about their work: “It’s got too many holes. It can’t be saved like it is.”
The analysis might come from a critique partner, an editor, an agent, a publisher. The kinder ones will gently tell you your work needs improvement. Others will perhaps give you a more blunt analysis: It’s flat. It’s hopeless. Start over. Sound the taps.
Words of discouragement can set a writer back, thinking they’ll throw out the original idea all together. But sometimes the core of the story is still a good one. It just needs a retread. A do-over. New life. Fresh opening. More likable characters, perhaps?
I can think of a few stories that I’ve read that could have used an evaluation that challenged the author to do just that. Put the story up on the rack in the repair store and throw out the bad parts. Edit, edit, and edit some more.
You’ll notice that, when we got the new tires, we didn’t get rid of the car. Although ancient, it has served my family for many years now. It still runs, even quite well at times!
So if I could encourage writers who have been given some serious news and suggestions about changing their story or manuscript, I would say, “Take a deep breath. Pray for inspiration. And just do it.”
Typewriter image courtesy of Just2Shutter via freedigitalphotos.net
Changing a car tire courtesy of Stoonn via freedigitalphotos.net
