First lines make a promise. From “Call me Ishmael” (Moby Dick, Herman Melville, 1851) to “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” (Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy, 1878). What first line drew you in so that it lingered in your memory? Did the book deliver on its promise?
In picture books we make the same promise to our readers/listeners each time we write a new manuscript. With those few initial words, we invite them to enter the world we have crafted and care about the characters. Because picture books have only 500 or so words, those first few are crucial!
In April Sara Kruger listed 30 new books with memorable opening lines. Below are a few examples.
“ROAR! Oh, no, you turned into a dinosaur!” (How to Dress a Dinosaur, Robin Currie, illustrated by Alycia Pace. 2022)
“Why aren’t you fuzzy like a dog, or buzzy like a bee?” (The Secret Code Inside You: all about your DNA, Rajani LaRocca, illustrated by Steven Salerno. 2021).
“In 1969, people all across the world were sick”. (Tu YouYou’s Discovery Finding a Cure for Malaria, Songju Ma Daemicke, illustrated by Lin. 2021)
Agents and editors make decisions based on those first few words. Readers rushing through bookstores make buying decisions on them. Make them the best possible!
Innovative
“The kids in Room 207 were misbehaving again. Spitballs stuck to the ceiling.”
Paper planes whizzing through the air. They were the worst-behaved class in the whole school.”
Look over the first draft to find out where the action starts. Can anything before that point be woven into the manuscript later? Let the first line radiate the excitement to come.
Intriguing
“If you give a mouse a cookie, he’s going to ask for a glass of milk.”
The first line relates what is unique about the story.The best opening lines will connect directly to the last line. Problem solved!
Imaginative
“Horn went “Beep!” Engine purred. Friendliest sounds you ever heard.”
Little Blue Truck, Alice Schertle, illustrated by Jill McElmurry. 2008.
Every picture book word choice is honed to perfection, but the first words are the invitation into a new world.
Illustrations
“In the light of the moon, a little egg lay on a leaf.” (The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Eric Carle, 1981.)
The first line should need no art note. It should be so clear that an editor or agent can immediately get a mental image. And maybe fall in love!
Often the finished first line will not be the first one you write in a rough draft, but ultimately the best one. Start…NOW!
Next month: Opening Lines for Nonfiction
Award Winning author Robin Currie learned story sharing by sitting on the floor, in library story times. She has sold 1.7 M copies of her 40 storybooks and writes stories to read and read again! Robin was delighted to have the opening line of How to Dress a Dinosaur (familius, 2022) included in Sara Kruger’s Top 30 list of opening lines! Roar!
Things are getting more exciting for fall – real conferences in person with live editors taking pitches. But until then it is easy to fall into the summer slump since no one…seems…to be…doing…anything.
Don’t waste the opportunity to build PLATFORM! (Pause for loud groans and eyeball rolls.) That has been my attitude, too. Clicks, Likes, Tweets, and Followers just build up numbers to get a book contract.
Ok – now that is out of our system, here is a different way to look at the platform.
Shift the focus from “How much we can gain in potential sales?” to “What can share with others who may not have time to do the research?” Start with what we know and want to write about: kids and books. Can we say 15-30 seconds about:
Babies – Board books, soft books, novelty.
Seasonal, holidays, bedtime, birthday.
Mom, dad, grandma, neighbors.
New titles, old classics.
Your favorites, your kids/grandkids/kid next door favorites.
Preschoolers – pictures and novelty books.
Transportation, food, homes, holidays, new baby, pets.
Classic fairy tales and the spin-offs.
Books you love to read and read again.
Books from your religious tradition.
Early grades – picture books and beginning readers, books in series.
Appealing characters, diversity.
World exploration, cultures other than your own, holidays.
Tip 1: Check books out of the library. Show the cover to the camera/screen as if you were sharing it with a friend. (Don’t read the entire book since it is copyrighted.) Talk for 15-30 seconds about why you like it.
Tip 2: Choose ONE medium – Instagram Reels and TicTok are big now, but that can change. Where are the people who could benefit from your knowledge? And where are you comfortable?
BONUS: Whatever books you choose to share become comp titles for your next proposal!
DOUBLE BONUS: You helped some parents pick the right next book for the kid they love!
Award-winning author Robin Currie learned story sharing by sitting on the floor, during library story times. She has sold 1.7 M copies of her 40 storybooks and writes stories to read and read again! She hopes How to Dress a Dinosaur appears soon on one of YOUR lists! How to Dress a Dinosaur – Familius.com Shop
Kids love humor, and publishers know it. Face it—parents love humor too. That’s why knowing how to add a few ha-ha moments to your story holds so much value to children’s book writers. But where do you start?
Last month, I explored four ways to add humor to your picture books. Those methods included word play, or puns, selecting words that have a funny sound, like snorkel, exaggeration, and crazy foils. This time around, let’s dive into even more funny business.
Artwork by Lori Scott
The Unexpected
Ever watch a blooper video? Those reels often show actors in an intense, dramatic scene, and then something unexpected happens on the set, and guffaws and giggles break loose. That’s because in any given situation, people hold expectations about how we are supposed to behave and react. Any break from that norm, and it strikes the funny bone. As writers, we can use this to our advantage.
A good example of this type of humor is found in the book Creepy Carrots by Aaron Reynolds. When kids pick up the book, they expect something scary. The entire book builds up a sense of foreboding and fear until the final page. That’s when the reader is finally let in on the gag, and that unexpected twist is outrageously hilarious.
You can practice creating an unexpected ending by rewriting the finale of already established stories—ones familiar enough to the reader that they already anticipate the conclusion. Brainstorm a list of ways to turn the ending upside down. For example, maybe Goldilocks doesn’t run out of the cottage at the end of The Three Little Bears. Instead, we discover she’s a party animal who’s been hired to throw a surprise birthday rumpus for baby bear. Once you have mastered changing up traditional tales, you can create your own.
Artwork by Lori Scott
What a Character!
Readers latch on to funny characters. These have amusing quirks, behaviors, or appearances that make them funny. When accompanied by the perfect illustration, it’s hard not to laugh when you pick up the book. Some examples include the pigeon from Mo Williams Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus, the duck from Click, Clack, Moo: Cows That Type by Doreen Cronin, or the dinosaur from Ryan T. Higgins’ book We Don’t Eat Our Classmates.
To develop this skill, make a list of your favorite funny story characters. Pick one and study him in depth. Pinpoint what you find so humorous about him. Dream up a foil or companion for the character. Then write out a conversation between the two characters being as silly as you can. Allow your character to dominate the give and take until he emerges as his own standalone entity.
For example, let’s say I picked Helen Lester’s main character from Tacky the Penguin. Tacky, is an odd penguin. He’s loud, he dresses in a sloppy Hawaiian shirt, and he’s slapstick clumsy. I’d introduce him to an overly friendly skunk who is completely oblivious to its odor. The little critter might even want to be a penguin too. Then I’d write a scene where the two meet, being as outrageous as possible, and let my skunk take over. If he was over-the-top silly with a strong enough personality to pull it off, I might just have the star for my next story. If not, I’d think, well, that stinks, and try again.
Artwork by Lori Scott
Ha-ha, Ho-ho, Hee-hee-here We Go!
With these past few months of ideas, you now have a handful of tools to help you add more humor to your stories. How do you start? With a grin. Then a chuckle. Then a good belly laugh. Oh, and a pen and a piece of paper might help too.
Elementary school teacher Lori Z. Scott usually writes fiction. Her down time is filled with two quirky habits: chronic doodling and inventing lame jokes. Neither one impresses her principal (or friends/parents/dogs/casual strangers), but they do help inspire her writing.
Somehow, her odd musings led her to accidentally write a ten-title bestselling chapter book series and on purpose write over 175 short stories, articles, essays, poems, and devotions. Lori also contributed to over a dozen books.
Lori enjoys speaking, leading workshops, and visiting local elementary schools to share her writing journey. Follow her on Instagram @Lori.Z.Scott.
“Then I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your house down!” said the Big Bad Wolf.
Children engage with picture books by hearing the words we read aloud (auditory or hearing) and seeing the pictures we show them (visual or sight). Another sensory opportunity often overlooked is touch/action, often called kinesthetic. That’s why generations of children know exactly how to blow down pig’s houses!
How can we add that kinesthetic dimensions to Christian picture books?
Level 1: Read the story. (all ages)
The majority of books require no engagement other than looking at the pictures and no interaction with the reader other than sitting still to listen.
Level 2: Touch-and Feel (birth-5 years)
Very simple board books may feature items attached to the page or holes cut to reveal textures. Feel the woolly coat. The adult guides the very young child’s hand to experience sensations perhaps for the first time.
Level 3: Lift the Flap (6 months to 3 years)
The next level of interacting involves lifting a separate piece of the book to reveal part of the story itself. What’s behind the bush? The child and adult physically engage in lifting a flap and determine how the figure under the flap relates to the story line.
Level 4: Engage in the text (6 months to 6 years).
The child is invited to make a noise or motion in response to the story. Touch fingertips together for a mountain. These very simple motions bring the child into the words of the story, increasing engagement between reader and listener.
Level 5: American Sign Language (3-8 years)
A much more significant level of interaction is in using American Sign Language to replace certain words in the text, child actually tells the story with the reader. LOVE The sign for love is to cross your arms over your chest. The child is assists in actually telling the story and often the signs afterwards are enough to remind the listener of the event or concept.
Level 6: Retelling (5-12 years)
Beyond the book methods require children old enough to remember without needing to see the pictures. Let’s have three volunteers to be Elijah, the wind and the broom tree. Directions in the book guide reader and listener to act out all or part of the story or tell it in their own words to others.
Level 7: Creative Expression (6-12 years)
Creative expression expands the story experience in drawing, building, or work with craft materials. Draw a mural of creation. These activities can be done by any number of children in a home or Sunday school setting.
Which one to use in the story you are writing? In general, the younger the child, the simpler the language and more immediate the response has to be. But any story for any age can be more memorable with invitations to kinesthetic response.
Start moving!
This post is an excerpt from Robin’s chapter in Writing & Selling Children’s Books in the Christian Market: From Board Books to YA by Michelle Medlock Adams and Cyle Young, Iron Stream Media, 2020.
PICTURE 5
Award winning author Robin Currie led children’s departments of Midwestern public libraries before being called midlife to ordained ministry. She has a special love for children’s literacy and Bible storytelling. She serves in Chicago area parishes and annually volunteers teaching English in developing countries. She and her husband actively grandparent 5 wonderful kids!
Robin has published seven library resource collections of creative ideas for library story times, and more than 20 Bible story books for children.
She is excited to reveal the cover of her next book, How to Dress a Dinosaur, coming in March 2022!
Is there anything more fun than being in the library Children’s room at story time? I was the lucky librarian who did that for 30+ years, reading to kids from birth to kindergarten. I also selected thousands of books for the library to purchase and chose from those the ones to highlight and share at story time.
When the publishers’ seasonal announcements are made, how do professional librarians know what to choose?
Librarians are less swayed by Big Name and Big Author Following. We will buy a good book by an unknown author. We do not buy from Amazon, or care about number of stars. We do not have time to follow blogs. Our job is to spend community tax dollars on the best for kids.
What DO librarians want in a picture book?
1 We want a book that fills a need. All day long we get questions:
Where are the books on Dinosaurs?
Trucks? Princesses? Ponies?
And harder ones like Telling a 4-year-old about a divorce.
Or a toddler about a new baby.
And the ever requested: toilet training.
2 We want a child focused book. And in the format for the right age.
Board books for age 0-2.
Picture books naming objects for ages 1-4.
Simple stories for ages 3-5.
Often, we find a concept above the child’s comprehension in a board book or simple picture book.
3 Most important we want a read aloud!
Page turns
Rhythm
Repetition
Word usage
Illustrations
All these must work together in that perfect read aloud. They only arrive on our library desks about twice a season, but they are the books that get checked out and read over and loved for generations!
PICTURE 2
Now how can you position YOUR book to be on the shelf and purchase lists for the library?
1 Spend time looking at books at the library. Note publishers who sell to picture book collections. It is a very different set of publishers than for school age. It is different publishers than for book sales at big box stores. See what topics have empty shelves, or what books are dogeared from rereading.
2 Check the library newsletter for the perennial story time topics: holidays, friends, silly stories, and, of course, dinosaurs!
3 Ask the librarians what subjects are most popular. More important what are the needs they see in the market. That may be your subject to write!
BUT WAIT: when you send out a query letter or a proposal for your picture book, mention that you have done this research and what your results were. It will not represent double blind data but will go a long way in getting your story to the page and onto the shelf!
Award winning author Robin Currie led children’s departments of Midwestern public libraries before being called midlife to ordained ministry. She has a special love for children’s literacy and Bible storytelling. She serves in Chicago area parishes and annually volunteers teaching English in developing countries. She and her husband actively grandparent 5 wonderful kids!
Robin has published seven library resource collections of creative ideas for library story times, and more than 20 Bible story books for children.
PICTURE 4
Tuktuk: Tundra Tale
Kansas NEA Reading Circle Catalog Selection 2017.
The Very Best Story Ever Told
WINNER: 2020 Serious Writer’s Book of the Decade, Focus on Family Top 10 Family Friendly Picture Books 2019, First Place, Wright Medal, North Carolina Christian Writers Conference, 2019, Finalist: 2019 Selah Award
She is excited to reveal the cover of her next book, How to Dress a Dinosaur, coming in March 2022!
My mom always called the period of time when people are becoming friends the “Ddo you like peas?” stage. This is when you are learning about each other’s likes, dislikes, and backgrounds.
Do You Like Peas? is a story about Olive and Marie, two friends whose friendship began with this simple question. As their friendship blooms, they discover a new friend who is actually everyone’s friend — including yours!
Why do you write? Do you have a theme, message, or goal for your books?
Since my writing is faith-based, my goal is to equip women with tools to do life as Jesus would. My writing theme focuses on living a wild and wonderful life. I believe a wild life does not have to be defined only by hard, crazy and difficult circumstances. A wild life can also describe the exciting and passionate times too. I’ve discovered that often wildly hard and wildly good happen at the same time. No matter what, though, Jesus promises to join us right where we are, and that makes life wonderful.
How long have you been writing?
I’ve been writing on and off for twenty-five years. But serious book writing for seven.
And how long did it take you to get your first major book contract? Or are you published non-traditionally? How did that come about?
Both of my books (A Wild & Wonderful Life and Do You Like Peas?) are self-published. However, I utilized a professional book designer and professional editor to assist me in the book writing process and development.
Which of your books is your favorite?
I’ve written two books for two distinct audiences, so I can’t say I have a favorite. A Wild & Wonderful Life is written (primarily) for women who desire to live out their “immeasurably more” Jesus story while Do You Like Peas? was createdfor children. However, I might add that the Do You Like Peas? story line is based entirely on Chapter 1 of A Wild & Wonderful Life.
Do you have a favorite character or scene in one of your books?
I’ll tell you a secret. Do You Like Peas? is based on the true story of me and my best friend. So yes, I do have a favorite character; it’s Marie, who is my best friend in real life.
Tell us about an award you won that was particularly meaningful.
The Illumination Book Awards are designed to honor the year’s best new titles written and published with a Christian worldview. Illumination Book Awards honored Do You Like Peas? with a silver medal. For me, this was meaningful because it recognized my book as exemplary among many new children’s books released in 2019.
How long does it take you to write a book?
That is a difficult question to answer. My first book took seven years from start to finish. I took a leave of absence from it for about five years. My second book, a children’s book, was completed in a year with the actual writing encompassing about 3 months and the remainder of time dedicated to editing and illustration work.
What’s your writing work schedule like?
Sporadic. I am not a disciplined every-day writer. Yet, when committed to a project, I am usually writing most days.
Do you have an interesting writing quirk? If so, what is it?
I’m not sure if I have a quirk per se, but I seem to be able to write best after “chores” are done. This means I cannot have any distractions around me. If something is fun or inviting, I’m in trouble.
What has been your greatest joy(s) in your writing career?
Perhaps my greatest joy comes when a reader says they had an “aha” moment. Knowing that something I’ve written has had an impact on someone’s life is huge.
Could you tell us about a dark moment in your writing career?
I had just completed the rough draft of my first book, but couldn’t seem to move on to the editing stage. During a late-night conversation with my grown son, he asked me why I was unable to finish the book. I answered him by saying, “Honestly, Satan is sitting on my shoulder and he’s telling me that I am not a good writer and that no one will read my book.” In response, my son asked me the most life-changing author question, “Mom, let’s say you finished and published your book, and yet, only one person read it. However, because that one person read your book, their life was transformed in a dramatic way or they met Jesus because of your writing, would you still finish your book?” I knew at that moment I had to complete my book and make my simple message available. A year later, the book was released.
How many times in your career have you experienced rejection? How did they shape you?
I have been rejected too many times to count! Rejection can be a good thing if it helps you re-evaluate. Perhaps the topic isn’t perceived as relevant or meaningful. Perhaps it’s not the right time to share a particular message. Maybe an idea needs to be polished, clarified, or re-worded. These are all potential reasons for rejections. It is important to be able to share clearly what you are trying to say, how it’s being said, and managed in a timely fashion. If you feel like you have addressed potential reasons for rejection and still feel confident about your writing and message, don’t give up!
Where do you get your ideas?
My ideas come from life experiences and Scripture. I keep a file of stories and ideas so I can refer back to them when I need an example or inspiration.
Who is your favorite author to read?
I can’t say that I have a favorite author. I enjoy reading historical fiction and any fiction with a good story-line and interesting characters. I read a lot of non-fiction Christian and faith-based books and enjoy the ones that expand on Scripture in new and interesting ways. Irwin McManus is an author who I think does this.
What advice can you give aspiring writers that you wished you had gotten, or that you wished you would have heeded?
I was given the advice to hire a professional editor. Quality sentence structure, proper grammar and good writing flow are musts in writing. A good editor will help you with these things.
What are common mistakes you see aspiring writer’s make?
Some common mistakes I see are lack of good editing and authors who wish their books would sell rather than working to sell their books.
Where/How do you recommend writers try to break into the market?
Writing your book is only the beginning of the book process. Unless you are satisfied with a limited amount of book sales, your time and commitment must be built into your book release. Utilize friends, family and other relationships to help tell your book story. This is a nice start to building your author platform, which is one of the most important aspects of marketing your book (other than good writing!).
Bio
Susan Campbell is the author of two books, A Wild & Wonderful Life and Do You Like Peas? Founder of More Than You Imagine Ministries, Susan loves Jesus and loves the hearts of women. She has trained thousands of women on the Bible, leadership, volunteerism and program development during her twenty-some years of serving and hanging out with women. Her desire is to equip women with tools that help them live a wild and wonderful life. Learn more about Susan at morethanyouimagine.org. Susan’s books are available at Morethanyouimagine.org, Amazon and Barnes & Noble.
We’re story-tellers! So, we often want to tell every scrumptious detail of our stories as we write.
But not so with picture books.
For me restraint is one of the hardest things to master in writing picture books.
A picture book isn’t simply a story with lots of big, colorful illustrations.
A picture book is a seamless weaving of text that tells a story and illustrations that simultaneously show the same story. The two elements must be woven together so that one depends greatly upon the other, so that neither can stand alone.
So, for word people like me it’s difficult to learn what NOT to say in the text of a picture book.
For instance:
Fine details like the color of clothes, skin, hair, eyes, size, age—unless that detail is critical to telling that story.
Descriptions of minor characters and scenery—again, unless that detail is critical.
Facial expressions. These should be implied in the text by dialogue and reactions so the illustrator can run with their interpretation.
Sometimes even the gender of the MC isn’t critical to the story. So, the author doesn’t need to mention it.
Specific brands, colors or types of houses, cars, toys, animals etc.—unless it is critical to that particular story.
So, what IS a picture book author supposed to put in the text?
Show actions and reactions
Dialogue
Conflicts, problems, difficulties
Solutions and resolutions
Relationships
Show changes or lessons learned
Show inner character traits through actions and speech
Isn’t it curious that the illustrator needs to tell the story with pictures, and the writer needs to show the story with words?
Writing and illustration might just be flip sides of the same artistic coin. You think?
Maybe that is one of the reasons picture books are forever popular among children and adults alike. They hit us with a double-whamie. They both tell us AND show us a memorable story.
I know when I’m typing words to a screen, I’m seeing characters and actions in my head. And, since I’m not an illustrator of any fashion I NEED others (illustrators) to make my picture book stories come alive for the children and adults for whom I write. I need illustrators to make my stories become amazing experiences shared between children and the adults who love them.
Note: I do NOT need illustrators to reproduce exactly what I see in my head. I need illustrators to flesh out my story and add new dimensions to it. I need them to make my story bigger and better!
And THAT is what makes for great picture book experiences!
Jean Hall lives in Louisville, Kentucky. She is represented by Cyle Young of Hartline Literary. Her premier picture book series Four Seasons was recently signed by Little Lamb Books. Jean is a member of the SCBWI, Word Weavers International, and the Kentucky Christian Writers. Visit Jean at www.jeanmatthewhall.com, on Facebook at Jean Matthew Hall, and on Twitter as @Jean_Hall.
Let’s take a look at the layout of Picture Books. Most books, including picture books are produced in pages divisible by eight. Board books may contain as few as 8-16 pages, picture books 24-48 and chapter books 64 and up. However, not all the pages contain text.
The first few pages are the front matter. This includes the title page, dedication page if there is one, copyright page, chapter page, and anything that occurs before the first page of text. Pick up picture books and look at these pages. The text may not start until page 5 or 6. If this is the case, a 32 page book would contain 26 or 27 pages of text or about 13 spreads. A spread is the two facing pages when a book is open. Two pages make a spread.
Back matter is the pages following the end of the story. There may not be any in picture books, but in non-fiction it may contain a bibliography, appendix, or glossary.
The first spread is your introduction. Here, the reader should be able to get an idea of the story ahead. The introduction may occur on the single right page or on a full spread of two pages. Either way, the introduction must grab the reader, entice them, and lure them into the book. This first page must contain just enough words to make the reader wonder what’s in the story and want to turn the page for more. Pique their interest in this introduction.
Think about the pictures that will accompany your text. Your text should be full of action on each page, brilliant colorful scenes, or asks questions to keep the pages turning. If much of your story occurs in conversation around a dinner table, what will the various pictures relay on each page? Children will tire of the same dinner table setting on each page. Think of your story in terms of pictures.
Are cliffhangers written into your story to make the reader want to turn the page? This is where the page needs to turn. Look at picture books and notice where pages turn. Add more action, mystery, or reason for the readers to turn the pages of your book.
If you submit your picture book in paragraph form and the publisher loves it she’ll need to break it down into a 16, 24, or 32-page format. She may decide it’s too much work and reject it. Make her life easier, reduce your chance of a rejection, and break it down for her. This will help you stand out as a professional. She may ultimately change the page layout from what you’ve submitted, but it will make her job easier.
There are many ways to lay out picture books, but I learned to break my story down into spreads, so this is the way I submit. This gets me thinking about the pictures on each page and what the illustrator has to work with to come up with the pictures. Are there too many words for a single page? Maybe I need to shorten the text or add more excitement in some way. So, look at your story in terms of pages and pictures now. We’ll look at formatting this for submission in a later post.
So, you’ve written your masterpiece of a story. You finally put your great idea onto the pages. What a fabulous accomplishment. Great job! However, it’s still not ready to submit to a publisher. Now it must be strengthened.
Rewriting is the next step where your great story becomes magnificent! Don’t dread this stage. The fun continues. You get to play with your words. First, check your word count. It doesn’t matter at this point how many words you have. Your job was just to get it on paper – to let it flow and hopefully you did. But the first part of rewriting is to know how many words you need to eliminate.
[bctt tweet=”Rewriting is the next step where your great story becomes magnificent! #rewrite #editgoal” via=”no”]
Keep in mind your target age group. Here are word count guidelines for each group. These may vary from publisher to publisher so check the Writers Market Guide for each publisher’s guidelines.
0-2 board books (less than 250 words)
2-4 toddler board books (500 words or less)
5-8 picture book (roughly up to 1000 words)
7-10 chapter books (up to 15,000 words)
9-12 tween (20,000-35,000 words)
13+ young adult (55,000-70,000 words)
If a publisher states they accept picture books up to 1200 words. Don’t send them a manuscript with 1500 words hoping they’ll make an exception. Send them what they publish.
Check to see if each sentence, thought, idea moves your story forward. Is it all necessary? Shave off a part and see if the story still flows. If it doesn’t, put that part back in and shave off a different part. Sometimes the shaving actually strengthens the story.
For picture books, circle all the verbs. That’s right. All of them. Picture books contain few words so choose them wisely. Try to eliminate the weak verbs: is, are, am, was, were, will, have, had, has, be, been. Then strengthen them. Check for synonyms and plug in other words. Play with it.
Next, underline your adjectives and adverbs. Try to eliminate ‘ly’ words and find stronger words.
Here is an example:
Sally ran quickly to get out of the rain. Suddenly she stopped when she saw a bright rainbow. Now she was happy.
All pretty weak. Let’s see if we can tighten it up a bit.
Sally raced from the rain but slowed when a sparkling rainbow appeared. She smiled.
14 words. Not an exciting story, but the same point is made with less but somewhat stronger words.
Now, highlight words you’ve used more than once. In the first example I used ‘she’ three times, which is too many. In the second example ‘she’ is used only once.
If you’re writing a story about a kitten, how many times did you use the word kitten? Unless repetition is your goal, can you replace it with another word while keeping the words age-appropriate? Kitty, cat, ball of fur, fluff ball.
