Tag: self-doubt

Categories
Guest Posts

The Comparison Trap: Eight Ways to Avoid It

Sometimes I look at the work of other authors and feel my abilities fall short. It doesn’t matter that God’s call is unmistakable, it’s still too easy to wonder if he can really use what I do. But it doesn’t matter if I am not as talented, or intelligent, or educated as other writers. God wants me to use what he’s given me for his purposes and the blessing of others.

Since you might struggle like I do, I’d like to share some steps you can take to avoid becoming ensnared by the dreaded comparison trap. 

Just Show Up: You win half the battle when you just sit yourself down before your computer or pad and pencil. “Lord, help me here. I feel dry and dull and I don’t know how to do this.” Then just dive in and start writing, no matter how terrible your efforts seem. The enemy of your soul likes nothing better than to discourage you and “just showing up” is an act of spiritual warfare.

Practice gratitude: The Lord is good and gives so many good things. Gratitude shifts your focus from the gift to the giver and opens your heart to receive more from him. Thank him for the gift he’s given you, for what he helps you to write, and the results that come from it. Gratitude is an act of worship. And just as importantly, thank the Lord for those other authors and what he’s given them.

Adjust your focus: It’s not about you. Keep your eyes on the Lord. If you worry about what you can produce, if you can impress, if people will like you or read what you’ve written, you’ve fallen into the pride trap. With a humble heart, offer up your gift and efforts to God, eager to see what he will do with them. 

Examine Your Priorities: What’s important to you will drive your life and your writing and decide their final outcomes. Success as a Christians writer depends on your greatest priority: intimate relationship and fellowship with your heavenly Father. That’s when the rivers of living water that Jesus promised can flow out of you through your writing to the spiritually thirsty. 

Look at the heart: As human beings, we are drawn to the outward appearance. It’s not about if you write as well as the next person but if your heart is lined up with God and his purposes. It’s when you are worried about producing or performing, trying to measure up, or “meet your quota” that writer’s block attacks.

Relinquish control and trust God: Your talents were never yours to begin with, so turn over the controls. God wants to use you and your writing to expand his kingdom. Ask him who your target audience should be and what and how he wants you to write to them. As you write with his help, ask the Holy Spirit to minister to the hearts of your readers. He can take just a few sentences from your article or a paragraph from your book and use it to change a life that will then touch others and echo through eternity.

Refine and grow your skills: Although it’s not about how talented or smart you are, working towards improving your skills is a necessity. Studies show it takes at least 10,000 hours of doing something to master it. Read books on writing, attend seminars and conferences, complete writing exercises designed to develop your proficiency. Network with and learn from other writers with more experience. Study the classics and see how those authors did it. 

Never give up: Someone once said that the one way to ensure something never happens is to give up. You are employing your talents for the Lord and for his kingdom, and he calls you to faithfulness. He never gives up on you so don’t you quit either. 

This is not about competition, about seeing who can be the most successful or productive. That’s the world’s mindset. It’s about joyfully working together to bring God glory. Falling prey to the comparison trap hinders your own creativity. But remembering it’s all about God and the needs of others will free you to be all he meant you to be as an individual and as an artist.

Cheryl Weber is located in beautiful Lancaster County PA and enjoys writing fiction, devotionals, and the occasional humor piece. She has ministered in a dozen different nations in missions and as staff of the School of Writing with Youth With a Mission. In the fall of 2017, she served as a journalist for a medical team working with YWAM Ship’s ministry in Papua New Guinea. Just a few of her stories from that trip can be found on her website at:  https://cheryllynneweber.com/cheryls-recent-adventures/

Categories
Mastering Middle Grade

Perseverance

In the interest of keeping things real here, I need to tell you how much I have been struggling with my identity as a writer. I have been wrestling with time management, facing off with my fear of social media (yes, that’s a thing), and having blunt discussions with myself about my skillset. It has been humbling. But it’s also been, for the most part, a private conversation.

Each night before bed, I ask my son if there’s anything he wants to talk about. The other night he seemed troubled, and this is what he professed.

“Mom, I have all these ideas in my head. Whole worlds of just…stuff. I get ideas at school and I just can’t stop to write them down and then later when I do go to write them down, they’re like, changed already and I can’t keep up. But mostly I never have enough time to write them,” he says. Then he looks at me with trusting, eager eyes and asks, “How do you do it?”

Thoughts flurried and my eyes blurred. I don’t. My staggering lack of increased page count over the past year is a glaring testimony to that fact. All my failed attempts at query letters, proposals, twitter pitch parties bear witness. 

One thought jarred me out of my pity storm: Regardless of how I feel, my son sees me as a writer. My son is beginning his own writing journey and he is looking for guidance. He’s looking to me.

Somehow I managed to check my insecurity and said, “I understand how hard it is. I don’t know that I have the best answer. I just keep trying.”

His face relaxed and he kept talking. He pulled out his phone and showed me his notes – they were only a couple of pages long but they prompted him to offer lengthy descriptions about characters, backstories, settings, plots. He told me about his worlds and where they came from. As a mom, and a writer, I couldn’t have been more proud to listen.

However clumsy I may have been, I would like to think listening to him and encouraging him helped him grow as a young writer. How can I help you? What kind of topics do you want to see in this column? What do you most want to learn about as you write for the middle grade reader?

Kell McKinney earned a B.A. in journalism from the University of Oklahoma and an M.S. in documentary studies from the University of North Texas. She’s a part-time copywriter, double-time mom and wife, and spends every free minute writing and/or hunting for her car keys. Connect with her on Twitter @Kell_McK or kellmckinney.com.

Categories
Writing with a Disability (Different Ability)

I’m a Superstar!

Living with a disability is never an easy thing, but there are times when it is more difficult than other times. I’m wired to be an outdoors person and try not to let my disability keep me from being active.

I learned years ago that I can’t live a life based on my feelings or limitations. To be honest, if I lived that way I would never accomplish anything. Especially this time a year, the shorter days and cooler temperatures sometimes suck the energy out of me.

The last few months have been particularly difficult this year. I’ve had a lot of writing projects I’ve been working on. Then the weather in the South decided to skip fall and go straight to winter in a matter a few days.

I’m not sure if it was shellshock or winter shock, but one morning I woke up to a cold winter rain pounding against my roof and windows. As I lay in bed, the thought of tackling my projects almost sent me into hibernation.

When I finally pulled myself from the black hole of my bed, I was sucked into the currents of a hurricane as I sat at my desk and tried to write. For almost an hour I sat there motionless as I stared at the blank monitor and I wondered if I actually had what it takes to make it as a writer. The endless fears and thoughts paralyzed me more than my brain injury.

  • What if I never get an agent and I’ve wasted all these years chasing a selfish dream?
  • What if I lose my passion for writing?
  • What if I am too old or too young to write what I write?
  • What if I’m pursuing the wrong kind of writing and I never sell anything?
  • What if I run out of ideas to write about?

I know we all have doubts at some point and many give up on pursuing a writing career. However, I’ve been fortunate enough to meet and work with a number of outstanding writers who managed to break free from the black holes and hurricanes to become not only professionals but superstars in their own right.

Superstars

In 2013 the Huffington Post noted 145,900 American “writers and authors” counted by the Bureau of Labor Statistics.[i] That’s almost a quarter of 1 million Americans who make a living as a writer. But what does it take to be a writing superstar?  I spent some time talking to some of my writing friends to get an idea of what disciplines they practice.

  1. Keep writing.
  2. Keep learning the craft.
  3. Network (writers conferences, social media)
  4. Be consistent and meet deadlines.
  5. Be a fierce self-editor or get a professional one.
  6. Manage your time wisely.

One of the luxuries of being a writer is making your own schedules for the most part. We still have deadlines to meet. A schedule is still a schedule. Get things done when they need to be done.

Get it done!

As 2018 comes to an end have you accomplished everything you set out to? I know I haven’t, I’ve spent this last few weeks focusing on other projects when I really wanted to be working on rewriting my screenplay.

Perhaps it is just my brain injury that gives me tunnel vision, but here are six mindsets I’m learning to help keep me focused and encouraged for the new year.

  • Expect rejection.
  • Write, even if you don’t feel like it.
  • Timing is everything.
  • Our timing isn’t God’s.
  • A roadblock isn’t the end of the road, just a detour.
  • All writers have to start somewhere.

As the holidays interrupt our writing schedules and plans, disappointments will come and I hope you return to this post to find some encouragement on your path to becoming a superstar.

[i] https://www.huffingtonpost.com/william-dietrich/the-writers-odds-of-succe_b_2806611.html

Martin Johnson survived a severe car accident with a (T.B.I.) Truamatic brain injury which left him legally blind and partially paralyzed on the left side. He is an award-winning Christian screenwriter who has recently finished his first Christian nonfiction book. Martin has spent the last nine years volunteering as an ambassador and promoter for Promise Keepers ministries. While speaking to local men’s ministries he shares his testimony. He explains The Jesus Paradigm and how following Jesus changes what matters most in our lives. Martin lives in a Georgia and connects with readers at Spiritual Perspectives of Da Single Guy and on Twitter at mtjohnson51.

Categories
My Writing Journey

Am I Good Enough?

Talented. Well-intended affirmation sculpted my ego into a thin glass spine. Unaware of how fragile my assurance would soon prove, I ventured into the world of writing conferences. I could invite publishers to join my team of encouragers.

Let’s just say things didn’t go as I had expected. Publishers didn’t coddle me with praise-padded enthusiasm. My misplaced confidence took several critical blows.

Ego properly shattered, I limped to my room. Crawled into a fetal position. Bawled. I no longer believed in myself. I doubted the talent with which others had defined me.

After a snot-streaked, prayerful cry, the Lord stood me back up. Reminded me to follow the call. I resolved to continue writing, keep trying to pursue the work God set before me.

But, the question had etched itself as a skipping album in my mind. Its haunting words would play over and over in my head for years to come.

Am I good enough?

For years, I strove to extinguish my doubt by improving my skill. I went to many workshops, conferences, and writing retreats. I learned a wealth of new craft insights and enjoyed priceless fellowship with other struggling writers.

Yet self-doubt and temptation to give up dogged my heels. I strove harder to emulate the techniques of successful writers. With each new level of training, I merely realized how much more I had yet to learn.

Then, I heard best-selling authors admit they’d heard the question, too.

One day, I cried out to the Lord, “I’m not good enough!”

You’re right. I’m glad you realized that. He responded. But I AM.

Now, I place little faith in fleeting matters of talent and success. Why settle for them? I’m intimately connected to the most creative source in the universe. He’s not merely adequate. He trumps all insufficiency, owns the patents on our gifts, eliminates the very concept of failure.

I still hear the question sometimes. The enemy isn’t the creative one. He re-uses his original strategies. Pride. Discouragement. The temptation to believe fulfilling God’s purpose depends on whether I’m any good.

Scripture confirms none of us are any good. “There is no one who does good, not even one” (Romans 3:12). Thank God we don’t have to stake our confidence in ourselves.

The Lord encourages us to offer him our best. He calls us to serve him with excellence. If called to write, we should attend conferences and hone our craft. When doubts arise, we must stake our faith in something greater than our own effort, however. The Lord alone holds the right to define us and to determine our calling.

Author, speaker, licensed counselor, and life coach, Tina Yeager has won over twenty-two writing awards. She publishes Inkspirations Online, a writers’ devotional, and mentors five chapters of Word Weavers International. To book her as a speaker, coach, or manuscript therapist, check out divineencouragement.com or tyeagerwrites.com.

Tina adores embracing new friends, so feel free to offer hugs to her avatars at Facebook , Twitter , Instagram tina.yeager.9, LinkedIn , Goodreads, and Pinterest