Tag: Show don’t Tell

Categories
Screenwriting

Subtext

I’m binging on the superhero series The Punisher. Not because I am a comic book junkie, but because I like this series’ emphasis on mental health and how trauma can affect our lives.

In the season one finale there is a powerful scene where The Punisher, Frank Castle, locks eyes with a former military buddy and best friend after he was tortured by their colonel turned bad guy.

After a brief, subtle stare, the Punisher breaks free from his shackles, quickly kills the Colonel while the friend watches. A lot happens on screen without a single word being spoken. Still, the audience understands everything that is happening.

The writers of the show masterfully use subtext via action and pauses to tell a powerful story of revenge and friendship. In screenwriting, there are a few ways to tell a story without explaining everything.

  • Action
  • Dialogue
  • Inaudibles
  • Subtext

Movies and TV are the ultimate examples of showing versus telling! On-screen the audience can see all of the action, settings, and emotions. We can also hear the dialogue and audible cues (crying, sighs, and screams.)

However, all of these can take up a lot of space in a screenplay. A common “rule” is to not have huge boxes of dialogue. Dialogue blocks are a form of information overload and they clutter up a screenplay.

They can also bore a reader and the audience by telling them everything they want or need to know. Generally, dialogue should be no more than a few sentences long, so this forces a writer to show more than tell and to use subtext.

Subtext

If you are a fiction writer, then you probably understand that subtext is important to the storytelling process. Because in screenwriting, subtext leaves more white space on the page and it adds layers to your narrative.

“The underlying personality of a dramatic character as implied or indicated by a script or text.”  

In screenwriting, subtext is the unspoken words, emotions, or desires. Although screenwriting is a visual art form, there are emotional and soul elements that cannot always be expressed in words, which invites the audience into our stories.

“Text means the sensory surface of a work of art. Subtext is the life under that surface—thoughts and feelings both known and unknown, hidden by behavior.”

Robert McKee

Writers know to avoid “on-the-nose dialogue.” On-the-nose is when what is said states the obvious or tells the exact thoughts or feelings of the character without action or subtext.

Another use of subtext is the underlying meaning behind a scene in a movie. The adage is, “If the scene is really about what the scene is about, then you’re screwed.” Subtext gives every scene in your screenplay more depth.

Think of two star-crossed lovers who cannot put their feelings into words, their avoidance or lack of interaction can imply what words can’t.

On the latest episode of Grey’s Anatomy, a young doctor, Simone, struggled with her feelings for her roommate, but couldn’t tell him because she was getting married. Everyone could see in her eyes, whenever the two were around one another, her feelings for him were strong. It was no surprise when she left her groom at the altar for her roommate. By then, the audience wanted her to do this. The subtext in the previous scenes built the anticipation of this unlikely couple.

Sure, we see this dynamic play out in many movies and TV shows, because subtext is crucial to visual storytelling.

Seven tips on writing subtext into your screenplays from Masterclass.

  1. Study subtext in film and novels.
  2. Get into your character’s head.
  3. Write the subtext in your notes.
  4. Apply the iceberg theory.
  5. Practice with hypothetical characters.
  6. Think about a real-life event that could contain subtext.
  7. Edit out unnecessary dialogue.

The best screenwriters have mastered the art of subtext, but all writers need to use this technique to tell the clearest and leanest story. It is a chance to practice “show don’t tell.”

And this dynamic goes beyond what the audience sees or perceives. Subtext keeps writers from telling actors what to do or how to act. It is the actor’s job to bring the character and their emotions out.

Subtext lets more action out than simply telling everything that is happening in a scene or character. Keep it on the stage, not on the page. Movies let the action out!

Act it Out

By now, I hope you know there is a lot more to the movie-making process, than just writing a screenplay. As I recently shared with a fellow writer, this is a business and everyone has a specific part in the business. You do your part and get out of the way.

Only a finished movie can bring our words alive, amateurs fill pages with lots of unnecessary words, imagery, and dialogue. Leave room for everybody in the movie-making process to do their job.

  • Writers write
  • Directors direct
  • Actors act

A few years ago, I had a writer friend, who also worked as an actor in Atlanta, tell me that actors hate being told how to act. So, limit parentheticals and acting cues, and let the actor bring the character to life; it is their job.

Subtext helps everyone do their job. Writing is a process that needs to be paced. Writers cannot dump a bunch of information, regardless of its function: dialogue, action, and descriptions can all be expressed through subtext.

Martin Johnson

Martin Johnson survived a severe car accident with a (T.B.I.) Traumatic brain injury which left him legally blind and partially paralyzed on the left side. He is an award-winning Christian screenwriter who has recently finished his first Christian nonfiction book. Martin has spent the last nine years volunteering as an ambassador and promoter for Promise Keepers ministries. While speaking to local men’s ministries he shares his testimony. He explains The Jesus Paradigm and how following Jesus changes what matters most in our lives. Martin lives in a Georgia and connects with readers at MartinThomasJohnson.com  and on Twitter at mtjohnson51.

Categories
Writers Chat

Writers Chat Recap for March Part 2

Writers Chat Recap

Writers Chat, hosted by Jean Wise, Johnnie Alexander, and Brandy Brow, is the show where we talk about all things writing, by writers and for writers!

“Because talking about writing is more fun than actually doing it.”

5 Mind-Blowing Insights to Help Writers Show and Not Tell

In this session created exclusively for the Writers Chat, Zena Dell Lowe uses the knowledge she’s gleaned as a story coach to come up with 5 mind-blowing insights to help writers accomplish that oft-eluded goal, Show, Don’t Tell. These tips are so simple that you’ll wonder how you missed them in the first place. But once you hear them out loud, you’ll never forget them. You’ll know exactly how to apply them to your own story, and you’ll be chomping at the bit to get started.

Watch the March 21st Replay

Zena Dell Lowe is a writer, teacher, and podcast host. Her company, The Storyteller’s Mission, offers services and resources to help writers tell excellent stories from a true biblical moral worldview. Find her podcast, The Storyteller’s Mission with Zena Dell Lowe, on YouTube or the podcast app of your choice, or check out her advanced online courses for writers at https://www.thestorytellersmission.com.

3 Easy Ways to Make a Reel with Canva

Award-winning author and Instagram fan Norma Poore shares her tips for using Canva to create eye-catching reels that can be used on Instagram, Tik-Tok, Facebook, and other social media platforms. In this hands-on demonstration, Norma demonstrates how you can use a premade template or create your own by choosing a background, then add text or photos. She also demonstrated how to add music, upload photos and videos. She’s joined by volunteers Stefanie Hutcheson and Rachael Colby, novice Canva users, who create their own reels in real time–with a few little glitches which shows learning-in-progress!

Watch the March 28th replay.

Norma Poore has experienced difficult circumstances, and allows her journey to fuel her encouragement for those who are hurting. Her inspirational nonfiction is penned with honest transparency and filled with hope from God’s Word. She’s an award-winning author and editing manager of Almost an Author. Married for 40+ years, has six children, and thirteen grandchildren. Connect with her on social media or at NormaPoore.com.

Writers Chat is hosted live each Tuesday for an hour starting at 10 AM CT / 11 AM ET
on Zoom. The permanent Zoom room link is: http://zoom.us/j/4074198133

Categories
Mastering Middle Grade

Show, Don’t Tell

“Show, don’t tell” should be the mantra of every writer, especially Middle Grade authors.

What is ‘Telling’?

Telling is often called an information dump. Many times, ‘telling’ shows up in the first few chapters of a book, when the author tries to quickly acquaint the reader with the characters by laying out their backstory and “telling” how they feel.

For example:

Samantha was mad. She had played volleyball since she was in fourth grade. She wasn’t very good when she started, but then she practiced hard until she was able to execute an overhand serve. From there, she worked on her other skills and earned a starting position on her middle school team. But now that mean girl Jennifer had taken her spot. It was so unfair.

What is ‘Showing’?

Showing is when the author dives into what a character is thinking and uses actions and reactions to demonstrate how they feel.

Let’s transform the telling example into showing:

Lips pressed in a thin line, Samantha snatched a volleyball from the cart and stormed over to the wall. Squaring her shoulders, she slammed the ball to the ground over and over, letting it ricochet off the wall and return to her hardened hand. But even the steady precision of the drill could not stop a lump from forming in her throat.

The whistle blew, calling the teams to the court. 

Chest heaving, Samantha smacked the ball one last time before it rolled to a stop at Jennifer’s feet.

Smirking, her replacement lifted the ball. “Don’t worry, Sam. I won’t choke on game point like you did.” She pointed at the bench. “So, make yourself comfortable in the seat I warmed up for you.”

When you compare the two examples, the telling stands out. It’s earmarked with passive verbs and a lack of tension. The author tells us how Samantha feels, robbing readers of the opportunity to use inferences and clues to draw conclusions and make emotional connections.

On the other hand, the showing paragraph puts the reader in the middle of the action. As the tension builds, we experience the same emotions as the protagonist, absorbing her reactions as our own. We become invested in the outcome.

How to transform telling into showing

It’s typical for first drafts to contain multiple ‘telling’ sections, but revision is a writer’s best friend. As you go through your manuscript, follow these steps to eliminate telling.

  1. Cut information that isn’t relevant. If it’s important enough to keep, reveal it bit by bit through actions and reactions rather than a dump of facts. For example, the reader didn’t need to know exactly how Samantha got her start in volleyball. That part was trimmed.
  2. Don’t TELL an emotion, SHOW it. Spot these ‘tells’ by searching for the words like happy, mad, scared. Eliminate the name of the emotion and describe it instead. For example, you could tell Samantha was angry by her facial expressions and how she attacked the ball.

One resource to help with this transformation is The Emotion Thesaurus: A Writer’s Guide To Character Expression by Angela Ackerman and Becca Puglisi. 

  • Focus on the emotional impact of your story. Telling informs the brain. Showing dives into the heart.  By showing Samantha’s anger and frustration, I actively immersed readers in the story and its outcome. 

Changing from telling to showing will require time and effort on your part, but the results will be worth it. Start with one “telling” paragraph, revise it, and then compare it to the original. The results may make a smile stretch across your face as you puff out your chest and say, “Nailed it.”

Elementary school teacher Lori Z. Scott usually writes fiction. Her down time is filled with two quirky habits: chronic doodling and inventing lame jokes. Neither one impresses her principal (or friends/parents/dogs/casual strangers), but they do help inspire her writing.

Somehow, her odd musings led her to accidentally write a ten-title bestselling chapter book series and on purpose write over 175 short stories, articles, essays, poems, and devotions. Lori also contributed to over a dozen books.

Lori enjoys speaking, leading workshops, and visiting local elementary schools to share her writing journey. Follow her on Instagram @Stories.by.Lori .

Categories
Screenwriting

Visual Storytelling

One of the best and most common pieces of writing advice screenwriters get is to always use visual storytelling. One of the easiest ways for me to illustrate my narrative’s theme is to look at it and express it visually.

  • What does my character’s world look like?
  • What time of year is my story set?
  • What is the culture like in my character’s world?
  • How does my character’s personality clash or reflect their surroundings?

Movies are an art form that can appeal to human sensory receptors. Our emphasis should always be on showing an entertaining story rather than telling one.

Ideally, all writers need to show more than tell; nothing bores an audience more than endless words and unnecessary exposition. This is why we need visual storytelling in our narratives.

Visual storytelling!

What has always drawn me to screenwriting is my tendency to visualize stories in my head. Even when I go to the movies or watch a movie at home, in the back of my head I am breaking down each scene into its literal components.

I find myself wondering how the writer imagined it originally. Because often what we see on the screen isn’t what the screenwriter originally wrote. It can be kind of fun trying to re-create scenes in our own heads because at its core screenwriting is simply visual storytelling.

Screenwriting coach and mentor Scott Myers advises aspiring screenwriters to read scripts of produced movies and then compare what is written to what they see in the movie. Not only is this free training in screenwriting, but it also shows aspiring writers how to visualize what is actually written on the page. The best writers master the art of visual storytelling. Below are a few benefits of the practice:

  1. Writers get more bang for the buck. Visuals make more impact with fewer words.
  2. Too much dialogue or exposition can slow a story down and bore the audience.
  3. Visuals are more entertaining than dialogue. They allow for subtext and a deeper story.
  4. Visual storytelling is easier to remember. 90% of the information our brain takes in is visual.

Visual storytelling allows writers to entertain the mind’s eye. Movies are all about stirring our audiences’ imagination and allow us to engulf our audience into our make-believe world.

A majority of moviegoers attend movies to escape from reality, perhaps this is why many of us long for a movie night during this extended pandemic. The best writers allow the audience to feel through what they see, hear and sense on screen.

Show Versus Tell!

Regardless of what you write, most writers know the golden rule of show versus tell. Exposition (telling) can make or break a story. When writers lack the creativity to show, they bog the audience down in dialogue and exposition.

Visual storytelling always enhances an audiences’ movie-going experience. How many times have you seen a beautifully shot movie and been transported into the make-believe world? Below are a few movies that always help me escape through stunning visuals:

The best writers are artists who use visuals to tell stories. Recently my favorite artist used visual storytelling to add depth to his latest song. If you watch the video, what you see will help you connect the dots—that is visual storytelling!

Martin Johnson survived a severe car accident with a (T.B.I.) Traumatic brain injury which left him legally blind and partially paralyzed on the left side. He is an award-winning Christian screenwriter who has recently finished his first Christian nonfiction book. Martin has spent the last nine years volunteering as an ambassador and promoter for Promise Keepers ministries. While speaking to local men’s ministries he shares his testimony. He explains The Jesus Paradigm and how following Jesus changes what matters most in our lives. Martin lives in a Georgia and connects with readers at Spiritual Perspectives of Da Single Guy and on Twitter at mtjohnson51.

Categories
The Picky Pen

How to Edit Setting

As we continue this editing series how we can develop a great story, I hope you’re able to see that the elements of storytelling hinges on more than concept and characters. By having all the layers in place before actually writing, you can have a clearer idea of where your story is going. Or if you’ve already written your book, how to make sure all the layers are in place so that you give your readers a delightful reading experience.

The fifth layer in developing a great story is developing the setting within your story, whether nonfiction or fiction.

The settings within your story link the moods and viewpoints of your characters and plot together like a colorful construction paper chain link that can be as short or as long as you want them to be.

How to Edit the Setting

  • What does the setting say about your character?
  • What is the most important dominant impression in this scene?
  • How does the setting enhance your story’s plot?

What does the setting say about your character?

As you know, in storytelling, it’s really all about what’s at stake for the main character. And the best way to show that is to show the character interacting with the scene. We’re not going to talk about the character right now, but more how the elements in the scene help the character.

A well-written setting will describe your character’s mood without telling readers your character’s mood. A well-written setting will affect your character’s mood without telling your readers. A well-written setting will also enhance the scene and the actions and reactions of the other characters interaction with each other. Or the overall effect and observation of the landscape.

We must ask ourselves the following potential questions (not exhaustive, by any means):

  • Does the setting describe the visual space, or does the setting describe the character’s motivations and actions, pulling the reader into the story?
  • Does the setting open with intrigue and action, or does it open slow and monotone?
  • What is the end result of the setting?
  • What does this setting tie back to?
  • What is the driving emotion and motivation for the character?
  • Are any of the five senses represented here, and how to incorporate them?
  • What setting details would enhance the character actions?
  • What is the takeaway or suspense for your readers?

If it seems that every aspect of storytelling is comprised of asking lots of questions, you’re right. It is. As writers, we must don our analytical hats and comb every journalist-style question as we map out the story basics. For in asking those deeper questions, we will be able to craft a compelling scene that dazzles and engages readers.

Here’s a piece of my draft scene for the story I’m writing:

Footsteps echoed on the hardwood floor. The door swung open, and Dad retreated to his desk. A bulky L. C. Smith and Corona sat on the desk. Sunlight pushed through a filmy window from behind and glared across the desktop.

Footsteps echoed on the hardwood floor. The door swung open, and Dad retreated to his desk. A bulky L. C. Smith and Corona sat on the desk. Sunlight pushed through a filmy window from behind and glared across the desktop.

“What are you doing?” She settled on the wingback chair catty-corner the desk.

Dad pulled a clean sheet through the feeder. “Taking care of business.”

She scanned the desk for bills or business letters but only found heavily edited typed sheets of paper. “Oh. What kind of business?”

The return key dinged, and his fingers arched above the keys. “Not quite finished with it yet.”

She sighed, resigned to live in her father’s abrupt world, but wishing she didn’t have to be affected by it.

He hit a few keys and squinted at what he’d typed. “Oh, Paul and Kate said they’d help you get registered for school.”

He didn’t want to help her register for school? Fighting tears, she slammed her hands into her lap where he couldn’t see them. “You’re okay with that?”

“Why not?” A steady slap of keys followed.

Two crumpled sheets rested against a bookshelf across from her and the desk. Rejects. Why did she feel like joining them? She cleared her throat. “I don’t know, but maybe I’m not ready to walk all around school.”

“Rie, Paul says you’re doing well. Susan too.” He looked up, smiling. “That’s good enough for me.”

She rubbed the chair’s fraying arm. If this was his way of approving, then she’d take it, but she didn’t have to like it. “I’m glad you think so. I’m going to sit on Cherish today.”

He thumbed through half of the stack and set a portion aside. “Honey, I need to keep working. Do you mind if we talk later?” He picked up his pen and circled some words on a sheet from the middle of the stack.

Staring at the pile, she made out the word draft across the top of one page. What was he writing, and why was it more important than her? He’d hardly talked with her since she’d come back from the hospital. She grabbed her crutches and locked her knees.

Why did she think he would ever change now?

Like it? It’s not perfect, and will change, but it’s a start. Can you picture the setting as if you were right there? Do you notice words that invoke reactions like impatience, dismissiveness, striving, sad patience? Do you feel the rush of disappointment as Rie tries to talk with her father? Do you feel the anticipation, the hope, then the dejection settling in the pit of your stomach?

Think about your own story, and what your character wants. Got it? Now what kind of things would need to be in your setting that would set up the mood that describes your character’s feelings without saying what your character is feeling?

“She felt tired.” No! Rather, “The chair sagged in the corner, and she sank into it” shows you the character is tired. Exhausted. Beat. Done in.

What is the most important dominant impression in this scene?

The dominant impression is what stands out most in the setting that gives credence to the character’s mood and the scene’s mood.

In my draft scene example, the dominant impression was two things: the typewriter and scattered paper, and I used words and descriptions and motivations that described the office and the father’s actions, while bringing focus to what my character was feeling—and what she wanted. These dominant impressions also describe the mood of everything and everyone else in the room, and how the main character is affected.

In short, the dominant impression centers around the setting and helps bring focus and emotion to the scene and whatever happens in it. And often, the dominant impression affects your character’s emotions greatly.

How does the setting propel the plot forward?

Propelling the plot forward is tough. Not gonna lie. It’s that delicate balance between stop, listen to the birdsong, and go, race through the sun-splashed woods.

In making the scene move forward, whether slower paced or break-neck speed, it’s crucial to set certain actions, thoughts, motivations, descriptions in such a way that the setting builds to a crescendo. If you’ve ever listened to Handle’s Messiah, you know the rush of emotion you get when that last stanza is played. And you know the feelings that overwhelm you. Same for your writing because readers will be able to experience all those emotions with your characters at those levels, and then when you raise the stakes, then that emotion only grows.

For example, in my scene, the various propellers are in different places throughout that scene:

#1 “Why not?” A steady slap of keys followed.

#2 She rubbed the chair’s fraying arm. If this was his way of approving, then she’d take it, but she didn’t have to like it. “I’m glad you think so. I’m going to sit on Cherish today.”

He thumbed through half of the stack and set a portion aside. “Honey, I need to keep working. Do you mind if we talk later?”

As if Laurie’s been jerked out of that office, right?

Secret Sauce to the Best Setting. Ever.

“Places are never just places in a piece of writing. If they are, the author has failed. Setting is not inert. It is activated by point of view.”

Carmen Maria Machado, In the Dream House

And let that be true of your manuscript, however you choose to set up the setting in your story, whether you choose to ease in, ramp up, create waves, let it ebb and flow, or go off the deep end. No. No. Don’t do that. But do make your readers anticipate every moment of every element of each and every setting.

Each writer and author benefits from exploring their characters and setting inside and out, while asking “what if?” at every turn when crafting their novel’s plot because it’s really the secret sauce to writing a great story that captivates people, agents, editors, readers, marketers, and the person who wouldn’t necessarily pick up a book and read it.

Questions? Comments? I’d love to engage in the conversation with you! Drop your question or comment in the chat below, and I’ll look forward to responding!

Your Turn!

  • What is the dominant impression in your setting?
  • Which of the five senses will you use in your scene, and how?
  • How is your character viewing the scene by the setting, or how are they feeling / reacting?

Tisha Martin writes historical fiction and nonfiction but edits full time for beginning and best-selling writers and publishing houses. Since 2017 she has worked on over 250 books, including Planned from the Start, the devotional companion to Unplanned the movie, and serves as contest judge for Writer’s Digest. She puts her bachelors in Professional Writing, masters in English Education, and editing certificate from the PEN Institute to delightful good use. Her nonfiction essay “The Meaning of an Heirloom” in The Horse of My Dreams: True Stories of the Horses We Love is available from Revell. She enjoys speaking at writer’s conferences and coaching writers in the self-editing process. Learn more at www.tishamartin.com.   

Categories
Guest Posts

He said, She said

Have you ever felt stuck using the same dialogue tags? It can creep in when we get comfortable with our writing. It’s the easy way to move on to the next character’s line of dialogue. But dialogue tags are a useful tool for writers to add imagery to their words. 

Take a simple group of sentences like these for example:

“Run,” she said.

“Where should I run?” he asked.

“To get help!” she exclaimed. 

Look familiar? We sometimes find this style of writing in young children’s books. As the writing level moves up, it’s appropriate to add more than simple tags to dialogue. It’s natural to get caught up in the action and forget to add the little flourishes our dialogue so greatly needs to enhance the scene. It’s effortless to hurry through dialogue with a simple “he said, she said.” But this is a missed opportunity to show more about your characters. 

For instance: “I’m alone and afraid,” she said, shivering.

What does that look like to the reader? How does the reader envision that sentence? We read what she says, but how does that look?

Let’s try that again.

“I’m alone and afraid.” Abigail rubbed the goosebumps on her arms. Her scalp prickled as she sat huddled in her bedroom closet with her cell phone to her ear.

This is a better visual of what Abigail is doing. We show the reader rather than tell them how she feels. It takes a bit more thought, but worth it to throw the reader right into that closet with Abigail.

Dialogue tags are a wonderful opportunity to show the reader what your character is doing rather than telling them. It’s also a great way to showcase your writing savvy.

 Readers often skip over dialogue tags like ‘said’, so they aren’t always necessary. If the dialogue is well written, readers will recognize the voice of their beloved characters before they read the dialogue tag. They aren’t needed for every sentence, so mix it up. Don’t slow down the reader’s pace with a needless ‘said’ or ‘asked’. 

How about the use of ‘exclaimed’? Let’s see how that looks:

“You’re stepping on my foot!” Jenny exclaimed.

This tells us the person is not happy having their foot stepped on. But what else is going on here? What if the author wrote it like this:

“You’re stepping on my foot.” Jenny’s face contorted as she tugged her shoe from under the elephant’s foot.”

Okay, an elephant is a bit extreme, but you get the idea. We can see how Jenny is upset without using a telling dialogue tag. 

Take advantage of dialogue tags as a chance to showcase a bit of your characters’ mannerisms. How about showing their physical attributes? Let’s take an example like this one:

“I don’t want to go to the doctor,” Jenny said.

Or could we toss in some description and say it this way:

“I don’t want to go to the doctor.” Jenny’s long, brown hair blew out the open window of the car as she clenched her teeth.

  These are alternative ways to show your readers rather than tell with creative dialogue tags. Have fun and spice up your writing with some action, description, and emotion.

Leann Austin has written over a hundred newspaper articles published in The Post-Journal and The Villager – Lakeside Edition. She’s also authored 16 stories for Primary Treasure magazine. She was the recipient of an honorable mention in Writer’s Digest 75th Annual Writing Competition. 

Leann blogs about her son’s journey with type one diabetes at leannaustin.blogspot.com. She also connects with her readers at her author page. Leann is a mother of four fabulous children and in her spare time she crochets newborn caps for the local hospital nursery.

Categories
Screenwriting

Silence Speaks

 Last month I finished another rewrite of a screenplay I’ve been working on this year. Although I cut a lot and made the story more visual, there are still a few aspects I want to improve. Additionally there is a subplot I want to develop a little more.

As excited as I am about continuing to improve a story close to my heart, I’ve decided to take a small break from working on it. Hopefully, stepping away for a minute will give me clarity about the subplot and help me say what I want to say through the narrative without adding any unnecessary scenes or dialogue. Because simple, economical writing is important in screenwriting:

  • Less is more: the best writers know how to say more by writing less.
  • Too much detail is counterproductive: giving too much detail leaves less room for the audiences’ imagination.
  • Show versus tell: showing action is always more visual than telling.

Actions speak louder than words anyway. In film, this is more powerful than ever. For instance, a girlfriend wants something from her boyfriend, but doesn’t want to have to tell him. She hopes he knows her well enough to know what she’s thinking.

Will he be able to know what’s needed without ever saying or hearing a word? The silence can show the depth of their relationship or lack thereof.

Silence can be just as effective in storytelling, because silence speaks.

Silence Speaks?

Silence speaks may be an oxymoron, because silence is the total absence of sound—yet there are other ways to communicate. The Intellectual human nature allows us to communicate thoughts, desires, and feelings in a thousand different ways.

Going back to our hypothetical couple scenario, couples have the capacity to argue and never use a single word: gestures, facial expressions, body language, even audible but nonverbal sounds are just a few ways we express ourselves. Not to mention the good old-fashioned silent treatment some use as weapons to express hurt.

The fact is we all know when we need to talk and when words unnecessary. Furthermore, there are times when we don’t know how to express ourselves through verbal communication.

This facet of silent communication enhances the realness, the life-likeness of a film’s story. Robert McKee explains, “Silence is the ultimate economy of language.”[i] Silence isn’t communicating less; it’s communicating more through less telling. But it is communication nonetheless, possibly at the deepest level.

McKee continues, “as you compose dialogue, I think it’s useful to imagine character design–three concentric spheres, one inside the other—a self within a self within a self. This three-tiered complex fills dialogue with content of thought and feeling while shaping expression and gesture and word.”[ii]

The three spheres represent the following:

  1. The said: the surface level of things said.[iii]
  2. The unsaid: revolves within a character. His thoughts and feelings form at this level, the self deliberately withholds them.[iv]
  3. The unsayable: concealed beneath the unsaid, the sphere of the unsayable roils with subconscious drives and needs that incite a character’s choices and actions.[v]

Before I started on my latest rewrite a writer friend who is also an actor told me, “When there is less dialogue, it allows the actor to act more.” In other words, when actors use fewer words and more gestures, facial expressions and movement to bring their characters alive, their stories are more visual.

When you let your characters interact with their settings, other characters and even their innermost feelings or demons, you can increase the level of conflict without using a single line of dialogue. This is how you show and not tell in a film.

Show Me?

Sure most movies have memorable lines, but the most memorable movies contain powerful scenes that show without telling. Recently, Avengers Endgame became the top grossing movie ever. Who will ever forget the final battle scene, although it had very little dialogue?

In film, when writers tell through dialogue it is called exposition and this is bad writing for a few reasons:

  • It’s a boring and takes too much time than what we could visually experience in a few seconds.
  • Thus, it slows the action on screen down.
  • It cheats the audience of a full theatrical experience.

McKee shares, “Big helpings of static exposition choke interest.”[vi] Remember the nature of film is visual. The scariest movies scare us by what we see, not what we hear. Below are two examples of scary scenes with little or no dialogue, one is old and one is new.

 Poltergeist

A Quiet Place

Did you catch the facial expressions of the characters? How they interacted with their environments and or other characters? We experience fear because the silence speaks.

[i] McKee R. (2016).  Dialogue: The Art of Verbal Action for Page, Stage, and Screen (Kindle edition) pg 92.

[ii] McKee R. (2016).  Dialogue: The Art of Verbal Action for Page, Stage, and Screen (Kindle edition) pg 45.

[iii] McKee R. (2016).  Dialogue: The Art of Verbal Action for Page, Stage, and Screen (Kindle edition) pg 46.

[iv] McKee R. (2016).  Dialogue: The Art of Verbal Action for Page, Stage, and Screen (Kindle edition) pg 46.

[v] McKee R. (2016).  Dialogue: The Art of Verbal Action for Page, Stage, and Screen (Kindle edition) pg  48.

[vi] McKee R. (2016).  Dialogue: The Art of Verbal Action for Page, Stage, and Screen (Kindle edition) pg 23.

Martin Johnson survived a severe car accident with a (T.B.I.) Traumatic brain injury which left him legally blind and partially paralyzed on the left side. He is an award-winning Christian screenwriter who has recently finished his first Christian nonfiction book. Martin has spent the last nine years volunteering as an ambassador and promoter for Promise Keepers ministries. While speaking to local men’s ministries he shares his testimony. He explains The Jesus Paradigm and how following Jesus changes what matters most in our lives. Martin lives in a Georgia and connects with readers at Spiritual Perspectives of Da Single Guy and on Twitter at mtjohnson51.

Categories
A Lighter Look at the Writer's Life

Through the Years

lighter look at a writer's life

Has your writing training “ruined” you in some ways? Do you notice plot holes, awkward point-of-view changes, and overly-predictable twists? I experienced this phenomenon recently.

My pastor asked me to produce and direct our church’s Christmas play, which is nothing new. I have been doing productions in some form or another for years, and I was thankful for the early heads up, as opposed to waiting until November to try to throw something together. He asked me to look over a play from a drama service he had found, so I paid the fee and downloaded the sample.

I am not one to knock someone else’s work, but my writing training radar kicked in as I read–and not in a good way.

The play in question hit me over the head with the biblical message, with several “sermonettes” tacked randomly into the dialogue. How many workshops have I attended about avoiding preachiness and subtly weaving in the spiritual message? Too many to count.

Another important lesson I have learned over the years is the “Show, Don’t Tell” rule. In the scenes I write, my characters should be actively DOING things, not just talking about them. Having my character “shiver to the bone under his light jacket in the unexpected snowstorm” is better than having the character exclaim, “It’s so cold!”

This play had a lot of telling, with characters standing around talking about what they would do or what they had done. Long monologues about random characters were featured. Much talk with little action had me squirming in my recliner as a I struggled through the piece.

Once finished, I flipped back to the front and noticed the copyright date: 1977! That would explain the awkwardness, as well as the references to records and outdated phones.

We’ve come a long way, baby.

There were certainly some great pieces written during that time and before, but today’s writers—and readers—are different. Many expectations have changed, and we must meet them before audiences turn us off or put away our pieces before finishing them.

So what to do about the Christmas play? I found the very first play I ever wrote, circa early-2000s, and dusted it off. A few changes and updates here and there (Cell phones have changed everything, haven’t they?), and I think ’ll have a solid production. The story holds up surprisingly well, and I miraculously managed to do a lot of showing instead of telling, even though I was a greenhorn at the writing thing back then.

Here’s hoping my other pieces will hold up over the years!

Carlton Hughes wears many hats. By day, he’s a professor of communication at Southeast Kentucky Community and Technical College. On Wednesday evenings and Sunday mornings, he does object lessons and songs with motions as Children’s Pastor of Lynch Church of God. In his “spare time,” he is a freelance writer whose work has appeared in numerous publications, including Chicken Soup for the Soul and several devotional books from Worthy Publishing—Let the Earth Rejoice, Just Breathe, So God Made a Dog, and Everyday Grace for Men. Carlton and his wife Kathy have two college-age sons, Noah and Ethan. He is on the planning committee for Kentucky Christian Writers Conference and is a year-round volunteer for Operation Christmas child.