telling details – Almost An Author

You can learn a lot about a person by visiting their house or office. A writer can use that to her advantage.

Let’s assume your POV character is visiting the office of Mr. Smith, who they are meeting for the first time. You could simply describe the office as tidy or messy and give a hint of Mr. Smith’s character, or you could create a setting that painted a vivid picture of the occupant.

Four office setting examples that paint a picture of their occupants:

Office # 1

Mr. Smith’s office was extremely tidy. Two walls were taken up by bookcases, organized by subject. A third wall was filled by a row of identical filing cabinets, each drawer marked with a color-coded label. The stack of in-boxes was labeled with similar color-coded cards, and the squares on the desk-sized calendar were divided into numbered slices using colored ink. Next to the calendar lay a blank legal pad and a row of colored pens, each aligned perfectly with the edge of the desk.

Office # 2

Mr. Smith’s office was extremely tidy. Two walls were taken up by bookcases, filled with row after row of old books in matching bindings. A white mini blind covered the window, which was flanked by identical gray filing cabinets. A gray desk filled the center of the room, bare except for a pad of white paper, a single black pen and an empty in-box. Behind the desk, in place of the typical swivel desk chair stood a metal folding chair. The unpadded kind.

Two tidy offices. Two very different occupants. The same goes for these two messy offices…

Office # 3

Mr. Smith’s office was a chaotic wreck. Two walls were taken up by bookcases crammed with books, many of which had bits of paper marking various pages. More books were lying open on the desk amidst a jumble of papers. Behind the desk was a white board covered in rectangles filled with compact writing. The blocks of text were connected by arrows and peppered with sticky notes and occasional doodles. A stack of papers at least a foot high filled the in-box, occasional colored sticky notes jutting from the stack.

Office # 4

Mr. Smith’s office was a chaotic wreck. Two walls were taken up by bookcases filled with books, lumps of rock, lab equipment, and a variety of hats. Larger pieces of lab equipment sat on the floor behind the desk, under a pile of lab aprons. A flashlight and a single work boot balanced atop the pile. The desk was covered in a jumble of dented three-ring binders, crumpled napkins, empty coffee mugs, a handful of mechanical pencils, and a large box of jumbo-sized paperclips that had tipped over and spilled its contents across the mess and onto the floor.

As these examples show, before Mr. Smith enters the scene, we have a pretty good idea of his personality based solely on the description of his office.

One descriptive paragraph performing double duty—setting the scene and introducing a character at the same time.

Four suggestions for using setting to enhance your characters:

Create a personal space. Does your character have a space he has some control over, such as an office or bedroom. As in the examples above, those spaces can be filled with possessions and decor that communicate his personality.
Introduce a passion. What kinds of setting best define your character’s passions? A sewing room? The garage? An empty-lot-turned-garden? The local fitness club? A mountain path? Can you find a way to introduce the character in that space?
Define a sanctuary. What kinds of setting does your character go to when they desire peace and quiet, or when they need comfort or safety? A tree house in the backyard? A friend’s apartment? The local library? The attic? Show the details that make the space a sanctuary for your character.
Use character to fine-tune the setting. List words that describe your character. Does the list bring a specific setting to mind? Use it. Does the list include words like messy, colorful, or stylish that could be applied to a multitude of settings? Let those words inform the setting details.

Make your setting do double duty by painting a vivid picture of the characters who belong there.

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Lisa E. Betz believes that everyone has a story to tell the world. She loves to encourage fellow writers to be intentional about their craft and courageous in sharing their words with others. Lisa shares her words through dramas, Bible studies, historical mysteries, and her blog about intentional living. You can find her on Facebook LisaEBetzWriter and Twitter @LisaEBetz

First Impressions Matter–Part 1

Scientific studies confirm that we humans make a host of judgments about a person based on the first few moments of interaction. And once formed, those judgments can be surprisingly difficult to shift. Fictional characters face the same challenge.

The things that make us instantly like or dislike people we meet in real life are pretty much the same things that make us instantly like or dislike the people we meet in fiction. – Orson Scott Card, Characters & Viewpoint

However, unlike real life, the author has control over how that first impression will play out. Don’t waste that power.

By the time you write your opening scene, chances are you know your characters pretty well: Their physical description, their preferences, their inner demons. Pages and pages of backstory. But you only have a few sentences to make a first impression, so you’ll have to decide what bits of information are most important to introduce the most important essence of a character.

Introduction through physical description

In real life, a stranger’s appearance plays a big part in our first impression. It can work in fiction as well, but remember, our eyes take in tons of information in a single glance—much more than we can describe in a few sentences—so choose the most telling details. The examples below show not only how the character looks, but hints at both demographics and attitude as well.

Sarah waited in the office, wearing a black silk sheath dress and four-inch heels. Her lustrous chestnut hair, worn loose, fell halfway down her back, and one perfectly shaped eyebrow arched when I entered.

Sarah waited in the office, a thin woman with a prominent nose and bony hands clutched in her lap. She wore a white cotton blouse, pilled from too many washings, and black slacks with frayed hems. Her brown hair was pulled into a severe bun at the nape of her neck.

Introduction through context

You can tell a reader a lot about a person without giving a single physical detail. Notice how the context paints two very different pictures in the examples below:

This was the first time Sarah had invited Will to her apartment and she wanted everything to be perfect. She straightened the candlesticks flanking the vase of pink roses, and adjusted the volume on her favorite soft jazz playlist. The oven-roasted vegetables and coq au vin were already in serving dishes, keeping warm in the oven. Should she plate the salads now or wait until he arrived?

This was the first time Sarah had invited Will to her apartment and she wanted everything to be perfect. She checked to make sure no dishwasher gunk was stuck to the plates, and adjusted the volume on her favorite classic rock station. The pizza should be arriving any minute. They’d better get the order right this time—meat lover’s supreme. Should she nuke the wings now or wait until he arrived?

Introduction through voice

A third option is to immediately jump inside the character’s head and give readers a sense of how they view the world:

I knew it was going to be a bad day the moment I slipped my feet into my slippers. Cat barf. Normal people have cats that throw up in the middle of the living room. Mine had a preference for shoes. At least the slippers were washable.

I knew it was going to be a bad day the moment I laced up my boots. Twenty-two miles to the next shelter, and my blistered feet weren’t getting any happier, despite the moleskin and fancy hiking socks. But I would break an ankle before I let on I wasn’t enjoying myself as much as Gina.

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