Doubts assailed me as I stood on the mountain anticipating my first Christian writers conference. Fear tainted my excitement, and I wondered if coming was a mistake.
Was this God’s plan or just my idea? I’ve dreamed of this venture for years. Friends deem my efforts as publication-worthy, but will an agent agree?
Writing for God. Wow, what a blessing! But did He choose me for this kingdom work? Surely not. I’m a fair judge of writing and mine is okay—well, maybe good—but not excellent.
With thoughts swirling, I recalled some self-talk and prayer that had occurred after I’d accepted what I believed to be God’s call to write. Shortly after I began to study and practice the craft, I read articles authored by friends and silently declared, That’s it. I won’t do it! Their writing is great, but mine isn’t. God certainly didn’t call me to write.
The Lord interrupted my internal tirade and asked, “Jeannie, are you willing to write with the gift I gave you even if it doesn’t appear as profound as someone else’s?”
His question dissolved me into a puddle of tears and I cried, Yes, Lord, I will. I offer this gift back to You.
As God reminded me of that encounter in prayer, my paralysis on the mountain turned into grateful obedience.
During the two years following that first conference, I contracted to write devotions for two compilations, contributed to a Selah award finalist, started writing for Refresh Bible Study Magazine, and published a poem. What amazing blessings and confirmation for this wavering writer!
Last year, when Beebe and Katy Kauffman envisioned the Bible study compilation, Heart Renovation: A Construction Guide to Godly Character, I shunned fear, trusted God, and joined the team as a new Bible study writer. Then, this past spring, I established what I call “my fledgling blog” to try my wings at encouraging readers. With each opportunity, God helps me grow as a Christian and a writer.
Doubts still sneak in, but when they do, a heavenly shoulder tap reminds me of God’s call. Recently, after reading a friend’s blog post, those doubts resurfaced.
Dena’s post has a great format and clear focus. Mine, not so much. Maybe I shouldn’t even . . . Wait. Stop! I’m comparing again and finding myself lacking.
Father, transform me into the writer You want me to become. I pray, “Teach me the way in which I should walk; for to You I lift up my soul” (Psalm 143:8b NASB).
Praying and reading Scripture redirect my thoughts to God’s plan and produce peace and assurance. I’m thankful God walks with me through “Doubt Valley” and sets my feet on the mountain of His grace while teaching me to serve Him through writing. God doesn’t always call people who are experts, but He continues to prepare those He calls.
Do self-talk and doubts hinder your writing? If so, what gets you back on track?
Jeannie Waters adores family time and cheering for the Georgia Bulldogs. She teaches English as a Second Language part-time and leads an English/Bible study. Jeannie writes for Refresh Bible Study Magazine, and she contributed to these compilations: Breaking the Chains and Heart Renovation: A Construction Guide to Godly Character (Lighthouse Bible Studies), as well as Just Breathe and Let the Earth Rejoice (Worthy). Visit her at jeanniewaters.com or @jeanniewaters44 on Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest.
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7 Comments
Super encouraging! Thanks for sharing part of your journey. Glad to know I’m not alone in some of my feelings about writing!
Knowing we all share this doubt issue is helpful because we can encourage each other. Thank you for commenting.
I don’t think there’s a writer out there who hasn’t experienced doubt. It’s a noble craft to follow God’s leading and repeatedly put oneself out there. I’m thankful you chose obedience! Thanks for sharing!
K. A. Wypych, it is a noble craft indeed. We can all encourage each other with this common challenge. Thank you for commenting.
An encouraging post, Jeanie! I suffer from doubtitis myself. I was a laid-off engineer when God called me to write my first Bible Study, Storms of Life. I argued a lot and often, all the way up to its publication. Even now as I struggle to write my second one, I’m still full of doubts. Because of you and so many others, I can know that God can use me, in spite of my doubts.!
Sherry, I’m thankful my post encouraged you and that you passed along the encouragement by sharing your experiences. May the Lord bless your word on this second book.
It is good to know I’m not the only one who struggles with writing. Sometimes the words just flow and others I stare at the screen, willing words to miraculously appear. I also find non-fiction a lot easier to write, yet feel God wants me to write fiction. I have to trust 1 Thessalonians 5:24 that “Faithful is He who calls, who also will do it.” If God says HE can do it through me, who I am to diminish His ability?