I am convinced that my writing journey is not just about me. God has a master plan to use the trials and the triumphs, the work and the wait, the refinement and the rejections—all for His glory. Part of that elaborate plan has involved connecting me with other writers. Like tesserae—the pieces of stone, tile, or glass used to construct a mosaic—God has strategically linked these writers’ journeys together with my own to form beautiful work of art.
It’s my pleasure to share my fellow tesserae with you in the next few posts in hopes that while you wait for publication they’ll become a part of your mosaic too. These writer friends all have a particular gift, skill-set, or unique insight that has brought balance to my writing journey.
My first guest tesserae is Becky Antkowiak. I met Becky at the BRMCWC in 2019 and was drawn to her radiating joy. She’s one of those people you just can’t help but like. We found an instant connection through our adoption stories and have been friends ever since. Unlike me, Becky is an extrovert extraordinaire. She has found a way to get the most out of connecting virtually during these trying times, and I asked her to share some of those valuable tips with us in the following interview:
1) What motivated you to dive in, do the research, and learn how to get the most out of virtual gatherings?
My time at Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference (2019) was the most fun I’d had in years—learning, meeting new friends, and finding my niche. When Covid forced the #BRMCWC2020 postponement, I was disappointed. When leadership announced the half-capacity-plus-virtual conference option for November 2020, I sobbed.
My husband was stymied. “Shouldn’t you be smiling? A virtual option is good news, right?”
“Yeah, but three hundred friends will be having fun without me!”
I knew I needed to take advantage of the virtual option (I have Lupus) but mourned the lost opportunity to connect. I prayed that God would “fix it” and make Covid go away, so I could attend in person.
God didn’t “fix it.” Instead, He nudged me to contact BRMCWC leadership. They graciously connected me with my co-host, Jaime Snell, and approved us to run Zoom sessions. Prior to November, I hadn’t run anything more than basic meetings. I watched Zoom tutorials and chatted with Zoom tech support to learn as much as I could, then prayed God would handle the rest. And He did. God provided everything we needed to help virtual attendees feel connected.
Direct access to faculty—during sessions, at meals, and in casual conversation—is one of BRMCWC’s unique advantages. As we scrambled to overcome the challenges Covid presented, we realized the virtual attendees wouldn’t be able to interact with faculty. Connecting people with resources (and with other people) is my passion; I wanted to ensure our virtual attendees didn’t miss out.
I reached out to some BRMCWC contacts and asked if they’d be willing to speak to our group. God prompted every person to say YES. I couldn’t be more grateful for the opportunity to connect friends with what they needed.
2) What are your top tips for getting the most out of a virtual conference and/or meeting?
Focus is the key to success during a virtual conference. Unlike an in-person conference, virtual conferences allow us to attend in our pajamas, run a load of laundry, grab a snack from the fridge, and manage fifteen other household issues while still attending. However, if we don’t plan and prepare, those perks can become drawbacks. A quick trip to the kitchen for coffee might morph into a thirty-minute “clean up after breakfast” detour. Even if we bring the laptop, we’re still not focused. “I’ll listen while I fold these towels,” results in missed information.
Preparing our minds, our environments, and (if applicable) our housemates ahead of time allows us to focus fully and take advantage of every minute. I wrote a series of posts at beckyantkowiak.com detailing ways to get the most from a virtual conference.
3) What advice do you have for authors who are camera shy and reluctant to participate on camera?
If you’re not thrilled by the idea of public speaking (online or in person), you’re in good company. According to a number of studies, fear of public speaking ranks ABOVE fear of death. (Seriously.)
Ideas for anyone reluctant to speak:
- Prepare, prepare, prepare. If possible, ask for Q&A questions ahead of time.
- Change the speaker view to reduce the number of attendees on your screen.
- If you’re in charge of the meeting, ask someone to co-host.
- Learn to navigate the meeting platform well ahead of time.
Ideas for anyone leading a meeting of people reluctant to speak:
- Prepare your participants. Communicate expectations, responsibilities, and information at the beginning/prior to the meeting.
- Invite participants to communicate via chat (either in a private message or “to all”). Then, verbally draw them out. “Karyn, you made a great point in the chat, and I want to make sure I don’t miscommunicate what you said. Do you mind sharing with the group? I think what you said is so important.” Often, knowing they won’t speak at the same time as someone else gives attendees the courage to turn off that mute button.
- If you’re running a Q&A, tell participants, “If you have a question, type, ‘I have a question,’ in the chat, either publicly or directly to me. I’ll send you a direct message via chat when your turn approaches, so you can turn off your mute.” Then, follow through. First, private-message the person next in line to ask a question: “James, you’re after Kelly. As soon as she’s done, I’ll call on you, so please un-mute yourself.” Then, after the speaker has finished answering Kelly, alert the speaker (and provide a verbal prompt to your participant): “James has a question. Go ahead, James.”
- When soliciting questions, remind participants of the limited time. “Please ask only one question until others have had a chance. If we have time, I’ll open the discussion for people to ask a second question.” This gently reminds extroverts not to railroad the meeting.
4) What benefits have you experienced from the virtual gatherings you have attended?
I’m a serial extrovert. If we make direct eye contact, I’ll consider us lifelong friends (you’ve been warned). More than once, when gatherings included multiple gals named Becky, I was labeled “the hugging Becky.”
I mention this to help you understand the absolute gift virtual connection has been for me in a world where I can’t hug my friends (or strangers). Because of my health, we’ve been extra careful. I’ve had in-person contact with only a handful of people since March.
After a while in semi-quarantine, I lost all motivation to write. (If you’re an extrovert, you likely understand how deep my depression and overwhelm began to helix. If you’re an introvert, imagine how you’d feel after spending the last six months in a small apartment with thirty strangers.) Then, a friend posted about the She Speaks for Him conference. I showed it to my husband and he encouraged me to sign up. Connecting with others online during the conference filled a void in my soul and pulled me out of an emotional pit.
Because of that experience, I knew the commitment, and the time, and the fight with technology terror (is this is an official disorder?) to provide Zoom for BRMCWC would be worth the work. Participants in the BRMCWC Zoom often thanked us for hosting, but truly, our group would have been nothing without the amazing attendees. (I’m only sad I can’t hug them. For now.)
Scripture: 1 Corinthians 14:26, Hebrews 10:24, 1 Peter 3:8
Fun Fact or Helpful Resource:
I asked Becky to share a little about herself. Be sure to connect with her. I know you’ll love her as much as I do! https://beckyantkowiak.com
From Becky: I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember. I’m an editor, an adoptive homeschooling mom, and an advocate for those who can’t speak up for themselves.
I’m the founder of the 540 Club, a community of writers who commit to write, to learn, and—above all—to encourage other writers. In addition to our Facebook group, we gather via Zoom for Write-ins and weekly meetings. The 540 Club* is FREE, and always will be.
I’d love to have you join us. Sign up at https://www.facebook.com/groups/540Club/. You can also join via the 540 Club page on my website https://beckyantkowiak.com/club-540/ if you’re not on Facebook.
Need prayer? Send me a message via the contact page at beckyantkowiak.com. I love to pray for my friends!
Thanks so much, Annette, for the chance to share. XO
*Future plans for the 540 Club include creating a non-profit arm, with opportunities for members to participate in virtual writing workshops for underserved kiddos. If you have related experience (non-profit formation, virtual teaching, etc.), I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Annette Marie Griffin is an award-winning author who has managed and directed programs for children and youth for more than twenty years. She has written curriculum for character growth and development of elementary-age children, developed parent training seminars to benefit the community, and counseled at-risk youth. Her first children’s book What Is A Family? released in 2020. She and her husband have five children—three who have already flown the coop and two adopted teens still roosting at home—plus two adorable grands who add immeasurable joy and laughter to the whole flock.
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