Win Friends, Impress People, Choke Up

In this space before, I have mentioned the importance of meeting new people and developing new relationships at writers conferences. Where else can you find people like you—grownups who listen to the voices in their heads, write down what they say, and then try to publish it? You want to get to know these people, right? Or should that be write? 

First impressions are important but are seldom 100% accurate. After all, many of us try to “put on the dog” to impress people at these events. Trust me, that doesn’t work.

Several years ago, I attended a “Meet and Greet” at a conference. There were many friends in attendance, as well as guest speakers, editors, and faculty members. Definitely a place to put your best foot forward, and definitely not a place to embarrass yourself.

Well, I am always going to be . . .  me.

The event was held in a huge meeting room. One side featured tables and couches for “fellowship,” with the bookstore on the other side. A snack table full of finger foods and other goodies was located in the middle.

I first looked for bargains at the book tables, as my “mad book money” was extremely limited. One book that looked interesting was only $3—practically the only thing in my price range. The author had a box on his table for a giveaway of the book, so I entered my name, although, in these situations, I either (1) don’t win anything or (2) win something but I’m in the hallway talking and miss my name being called. I’m talented like that.

I made my way to the “fellowship” area and divided my time between groups of friends and editors and the publishers I wanted to impress. I looked over to the bookstore area and noticed people at the table with the book I wanted, so I figured I had better “seize the day” and push people out of the way to get my bargain. Not really, but, hey, I needed to get my book. I passed the snack table on my way and had to stop.

I’ve never been able to walk by a snack table and not partake of the treats. I scooped some peanuts onto one of the tiny plates and started munching as someone got on the P.A. system to announce the winner of the book giveaway. As a name was drawn, I started choking on a peanut.

I was hacking and coughing so hard a fellow nearby asked if I needed the Heimlich. I waved him off, right at the moment the winner was announced.

“Carlton Hughes!” I had finally won something, was finally present to hear my name—while I was coughing up a lung.

I walked (and hacked) to the makeshift stage to get my book and returned to the garbage can near the snack table, thinking that lung might come up any time. Someone told the book’s author I was a college professor, which was also the author’s profession, so he came over to ask numerous questions about my work. The conversation went something like this:

Him: “What courses do you teach?”

Me: “(Cough) Communications (Hack) and journalism.”

Him: “How long have you been teaching?”

Me: “(Hack) Over (Cough) 20 (Hack) years.”

Somehow, I don’t think I impressed him.

Some wise advice I learned the hard way: in writing or at writers conferences, don’t work so hard to impress others. Be yourself, have fun, and avoid the peanuts.

And you must be present to win.